Even though you only have one episode out, your story is really promising and I can’t wait to read your next episodes!! I took some notes while reading the story. They are mostly about directing because that’s the only skill I’m somewhat competent at
The scene where MC and her friend are in the restaurant, I think it’d be better if they are already sitting in their spots as opposed to making them walk.
Btw, when MC leaves with Teah and MC’s friend says ‘don’t get murdered’, I like: my thoughts exactly! Girl, you just met her and you are going to her place? Well, it is true you are a boxer, so I guess you can take care of yourself
The scene where MC is changing her clothes, the spot directing looks a little awkward. MC looks like a child next to Teah. If you were trying to create dimension I would place MC a little higher.
Finally, the scene with Liam, Luke, and MC. Make sure that MC is actually facing them. You might want to change ‘sister’ for ‘brother’ in this dialogue
I would also double check for capitalization throughout the story.
I like that your story has a strong female character that can fend for herself. The last time I got hooked on a story about fighters was Knockout. This may become my new obsession as you release more chapters, can’t wait for more!