Eat your dog.
I stole a stick of butter and am now a wanted criminal in 69 different countries.
2 Likes
Make it 666 countries
The watermelon is too cold
1 Like
Put sugar on it and put it in Harry Styles’s microwave
My cat fell over
1 Like
Perform CPR- Cat Paws Rescue 
My zoom is freezing up.
Put it in the microwave to dethaw
My vocal chords died
1 Like
Perform CPR
My car broke down
1 Like
comfort it
a bird swallowed my leg
2 Likes
Swallow the bird, poop out your leg, reattatch it
My toenail polish chipped
2 Likes
Eat chips.
I can’t stop procrastinating.
3 Likes
Really put the pro in procrastination and become a certified pro
My hands are dry
1 Like
Submerge them in water!
My teacher is mean
Ask for an even meaner principal
I forgot to make food
1 Like
Ask Siri to cook
I made an AI that wants to kill off humanity
Be its sidekick and kill the ai after eliminating the hoomans
The birds wont stop flying
1 Like
So fly with them!!!
An eagle ate my chicken
Cut up the eagle make sure not to cut the chicken, cook the eagle and serve it to your chicken
The grass is green
2 Likes
Dye it another color!
My hair fell out cuz I put too much bleach in it to dye it blue
Put bleach on everyone else and no one will notice anything
I ate too much hot suace now my tongue is burning
1 Like
Eat lime tortilla chips!!
I have no more lime tortilla chips 
Grow limes cut them to triangles bam problemo is not existo
Im starting a bad habit but dont know how to stop
1 Like