I’m scared . I hope people like it lol
HAHA! I mean, I’m probably one of the very few forumers that hasn’t yet read it (it’s been on my list for a while), but everyone raves about it. So, no worries!
We’ve had ONE review so far, but PLEASE remember that a first impression rating is BEFORE you read the story! Make sure you read all the info first, before writing!
Running to the form to submit my review
Guys, there are fewer than two days left before time runs out. PLEASE submit your review for 'Hit and Run, as we’re only had two! You voted for it, so it’s only fair that you read and review it. C’mon, guys! If you running short on time, remember that only scores are required on the form and comments are optional.
Why vote if you’re not going to review it?!
I’m going to review right now sorry
i will tomorrow. cuz I don’t want to write a review two times again.
@CrazyCaliope, could you make the directing & language boxes larger? (They are short answer right now)
- but not right this second ;-; I don’t want to loose all my writing if it makes the page reload >.<
Edit : Finished
Sorry, I didn’t realise. Fixed.
Thank you, lovely.
Guys, I’m just going to repeat myself as there are fewer than 12 hours left before time runs out. PLEASE submit your review for 'Hit and Run, as we’ve only had four! You voted for it, so it’s only fair that you read and review it. C’mon, guys! If you running short on time, remember that only scores are required on the form and comments are optional.
Why vote if you’re not going to review it?!
I’ve read all the episodes in “Hit and Run”… And wow.
Okay, only about 5-6 hours left before time runs out. PLEASE submit your review for 'Hit and Run, as we’ve got eight now! If you voted for it, then it’s only fair that you read and review it.
gAH SORRY, probably won’t have enough time to review this week’s story; I’ve been super busy >.< Sorryyyy ://
EDIT: I’ll try, though
The second story for our Community Book Club was reviewed 12 people, and all the scores will be an average. The first book was…
Hit and Run, by Elise C (@EliseC )
It’s a horror and here’s the link .
About: After a hit and run, the girl you left for dead unexplainably survives and wants revenge. Will you survive? Choices Matter and CC (5 endings)
This story was recommended by @amberose!
First Impression (Cover/title/summary)
The title, covers and summary work well and equally intrigued the reader! The cover perfectly represents the story with its grungy theme, while the summary is simple and not too wordy. Many reviewers expected that this story would exceed their expectations, based on the author’s previous stories.
The story (Content and Flow)
Here the reviewers were split. On one hand, they thought the story was fantastic and absolutely enjoyed the unique plot. The jump scares were good, as was the pacing and flow. It is refreshing to see a story that knows when and how to end and doesn’t drag on for 30+ episodes. The thriller aspect mixed perfectly and was very addictive to read.
On the other hand, the content was well-written but quite predictable; the multiple endings and point system were too vital to the story. Some only continued reading because of that and weren’t particularly gripped. A couple of people found it to be a little clichè and too much like “Pretty Little Liars.” It was a little disappointing when we (the reader) found out that Charlotte came back to “life” instantly and when we knew all along that it was her doing the torturing. It was felt that in later chapters, the story dragged out and could possibly be written in a different way. For example, cutting the amount of time it took for them to confront the antagonist.
Flow let the story down. I completely understand that multiple endings mean lots of coding, but the plot was too fast and too short for me to particularly care about any characters. Also, parts of the story seemed illogical, the MC was upset her mom died in a car crash in the morning, but by the afternoon, she was down with taking a car, despite neither her or her friend having licences. They also continue to drive in later episodes despite not having licences.
I personally found Episode One slow, but the story definitely picks up in Episode 2. I know that usually Episode One is used for Character Development so the Episode being slow is fine, but when I was reading I would find myself easily distracted because of the slow pace. For example, the girls are studying, then go out (I picked to visit my lovely boyfriend) and then drive home again. Perhaps the girls never leave school at all and cheer on their guy friends at practice so that we, the reader, react to the event we already know is going to happen sooner? /// I enjoy the pacing between school and home and by that, it was like, “here we are, safe… at school… then BAM night time. Charlotte is coming for you.”
Oh, another thing that I never quite understood was the car-crash in the beginning (with the mom) not playing a part of the story other than nightmares. Why?
Again, they were on the fence. On the positive side, the characters were pretty good, well-developed, and mostly likeable. Even the ‘villains’ had their own backstories and motives, so they never came across as completely evil. Some of the characters were quite unlikeable, even MC at times, but it’s nothing unbearable. Also, the character customization, but maybe add some more dark-skinned characters, just a suggestion.
On a more constructive note, the biggest pet-peeve in stories is its background characters in default outfits; default background characters and characters not changing outfits when a new day happens. One disliked Kelsey and the MC at times, but was able to connect to the MC because they would share similar logic. Jake was such a great love interest who isn’t part of a gang, bad boy, playboy, anger management clichès. The only character another got attached to was Jake. He seemed supportive, but nothing else. The MC was really bland, with only two modes: a pushover (“I guess you’re right” - catchphrase) or being nervous and crying. Then she seemed to have a personality transplant to become brave to kill Charlotte. Understanding that Kelsi had parent issues and Charlotte had been bullied, but we never really saw a vulnerable side, they were pretty 2-D.
I found all her characters to be well developed. I especially liked the girl that got ran over - although I should probably dislike her seeing as she spends the whole time trying to kill the main character. Anyways, I found her character intriguing and a different refreshing twist to the stereotypical quiet shy high school student. The only critique I have is on Jake. I enjoyed reading his character a lot, and I respect that this is not a romance story so romance is not enforced. However, at the end when I ended up failing him and he died, I didn’t feel much. I don’t feel like I connected with his character enough to feel much sympathy. Regardless I still found him a very sweet and caring partner for the protagonist! Elise is very well capable of writing well-rounded characters, seeing as she made me root for two people who murdered someone, and left their victim for dead.
Visually (The directing)
So to start with, Phenomenal. The directing is next level. The use of overlays that bring the story to another level! Some would even go above 5 if they could. It was beautiful, practically perfect. A couple of small critiques though. One, you can’t see her shoes in the clothing choice. Two, spot directing when arriving at school. Why are the leads bigger than the lamppost to their left? Aside from that, there were minor issues with layering and overlays not lining up.
However, the copied and slightly altered spot templates annoyed one. It was the same characters in the same positions in the school with maybe one or two changes. A lot of flashing lights were overused to make the story horror. Some directing moments really impressed them though, such as the zoom through Charlotte’s eye when she remembers the crash, well done!
We appreciate how the author gave the readers a choice to view the story without the flashing lights. Very considerate to do.
(Note: One read the Gem Version) There was one that I felt was a bit strange. This took place in Episodes 1-3, all the choices were related to ‘trust’ and ‘mistrust’ then a sudden change into relationship points (Kelsey+5?) then returned to trust & mistrust.
Most didn’t notice many/any grammar or spelling mistakes, and thought it was great. One thought the SPaG was well done with only a few errors, such as no full stops at times.
Another was a little pedantic and everyone probably can guess who that pedant is (their name may or may not be from Greek mythology ). They noticed missing commas before names (or terms of endearment). Wondered if you’re using British or American English? Only because ‘ton’ is American and ‘Mum’ is British. Also, words got mixed up a couple of times, and as the story progressed, the errors seemed to increase.
Choices were very well done, with the points system utilised to give multiple endings. Coding due to choices was very impressive. The choices are everywhere, life-death situations to dressing games, and the story felt really interactive. Loveyourself said, “The choices gave me anxiety. They made me so nervous and I spent about 2 minutes trying to figure out which one was right! Marvellous!”
However, there were still two small critiques. One, there might need to be a change from ‘trust/mistrust’ to ‘points’ in the gem version, and another felt that there weren’t enough choices for the length of the chapters.
5 was the average number of episodes read by the 12 reviewers.
Overall, expectations were hit. Most found it an interesting read, especially with the lack of horror/mystery stories on the app. A great horror that will keep you on the edge, your characters’ lives depend on you. It’s a great “revenge on the bully” plot through the bully’s perspective. Really enjoyable and would recommend everyone! They can’t wait for season two.
Though a couple of reviewers didn’t completely agree. Thinking the point system and multiple endings were vital to this story. And although they were impressive, characters and plot were lacking. If the story extended beyond 6 episodes, I don’t think I would be invested enough to continue. Another thought it seemed a little too much like Pretty Little Liars for their liking.
I know Elise is a featured author and this story has won a contest and I would have been really disappointing if my expectations weren’t hit. Horror isn’t what I normally read, and I wasn’t scared too much (Prob because it was because I was focused on saving Senpai Jake and killing my Bestie). I’m actually looking forward to Season Two, which considering how I don’t continue most stories, is like an achievement to myself. I’m curious if like Charlotte and Old Man (whose identity is yet to be revealed) start some sub-plot apocalypse or the deer, oh that deer, I really want to see it kill something… needless to say, I’m looking forward to S2
Final Book Club score is … 4.57
Start a discussion below of this book if you want to!
Starting off the discussion of Hit and Run rather lightly, as I was a little silly (as per normal). So creating CCs can annoy me so I make it into a game and randomly select buttons, coming up with crazy-looking creations. (Mum and daughter made me laugh. Those eyebrows!)
Forgot to take screenshots throughout the rest of the story. Whoops! Sorry.
Thanks everyone who took the time to read and provide feedback.
I’m at work so I just glanced through it, but I agree with most that I’ve seen (especially regarding the characters lol). Character development is actually in my goals for this year and I want to make sure that my “YOU” characters have a chance to develop better (starting with a revamp of one of my earlier stories which had similar feedback for the MC haha).
I find the PLL comment amusing (as I’ve never seen it and don’t know much about the show at all).
As for the directing glitches- I’m pretty sure those are glitches but I’m going to go check that lamp post thing out now lol
Also Australian/British English but I write ton as ton… lol
I’m pretty sure that’s right in Aussie/British English depending on the context.
Edit: @FallenAngelNight13 I’ve never won a contest with this story It’s my only contest entry that didn’t win lol.
Edit2: The gem version- every gem choice gives you points to save someone. The trust/mistrust points save Jake and the Kelsie points save Kelsie but tbh, I will likely overwrite this version with the original if/when I release a season 2 (and make this the s1 only book). The gem choices were “forced” in a way as I was part of a beta test.
Same I didn’t know this wasn’t British English
Sorry, I know I should be more lenient and just keep the little things to myself since English is constantly changing, but I guess I’m just a stickler. Yes, I know our siblings across the ditch (Aussies) do use more Americanisms than us (Kiwis), but ‘ton’ is American. In the UK, it’s ‘tonne’.
Sorry to be annoying.
I googled it.
American English speakers generally have no use for tonne , so the spelling rarely appears in U.S. publications. Elsewhere, fastidious publications use the appropriate spellings for the units of measurement. And ton (often pluralized) is used informally as a noun meaning a large extent, amount, or number .
British, Canadian, and Australian publications generally reserve tonne for very narrow uses (i.e., in reference to the metric ton).
All use ton (or tons ) in contexts unrelated to measurement.
Taken from here
I’m not sure how I used it, but we definitely say/spell it as ton in some circumstances.
(Also not annoying as that’s something I didn’t know lol. I knew there were two spellings, but I didn’t know that Americans never use tonne. I’ve always known tonne so solely be the measurement as explained above ).