✨ The Givers Club ✨

Thank you so much! :two_hearts:

No problem :blob_sun:

:sweat_smile:let me change that
Edit: I’ve changed it so you can add me haha

1 Like

Hi can i get an review? :see_no_evil::see_no_evil:
Title: You are my sunshine
Author: Faith Rose
Gene: Drama/Comedy/Romance
Description: Having a learning disability is hard for Samantha until she meets Nick her sunshine! Will Nick help her overcome her disability or be a disappointment to her?
Chapters - 4 episode on going
Cover:


Link- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4514012789538816

Any honest feedback and hopefully it doesn’t break the guidelines :two_hearts::two_hearts:

Thank you for requesting :revolving_hearts:

I actually reviewed your story here:

:see_no_evil: :blob_hearts:

1 Like

Oh ok i forgot I’m sorry :joy::joy:

That’s OK, I usually remember the stories of the people I reviewed even if they don’t remember me :joy: :sparkling_heart:

1 Like

Review for the story The Proelium by @makxoxo1500 :icecream: :revolving_hearts:

OreoBiscuit's Review

The Proelieum

Episode 1
A large part of the episode is spent on long explanations and panning to the end of the zone before transitioning out and then repeating the same process again with a new background. I guess that is fine with some of the the things that were written however, quite a few things could’ve been shown and not explained as it got a little boring reading the narration and admittedly started just quickly tapping to hurry up and move on.
In the 7 years prior scene, it looked as if Valerie pops up unto her spot. As I’ve seen during later scenes that that doesn’t happen again, I know you know how to fix that.
In that same scene, have valerie go back to doing the idle sit legs up animation as her lips are still moving when her mother is speaking.
There seems to be a lot of panning going on that doesn’t really seem necessary. Having a few pans is fine but when you start to pan nearly everything, it makes the episode seem like a drag.
In the scene where the nanny is first shown, the speech bubble is pointed towards Valerie when Aiden is the one speaking.
In the secret meeting spot scene, the speech bubble faces the wrong way when Aiden is speaking.
The episode is a decent length, the characters are shown quite well and the spot directing is good. The episode is a little dull but I guess that is because it was more of an introduction episode? I dunno.

Episode 2
In the confrontation scene, the speech bubble was not facing Valerie and was covering the green person’s face. The same problem happens again when Lilith makes her first appearance.
Although the spot directing is done well, the characters look a bit small for the background. They kind of look like little dolls lol. Maybe scale them a little bigger so that it looks more better.
For the flashback scene, it’s great that there is a trigger warning however, I think an option to skip the scene would’ve also been great. Although not gone into much detail which is also great, it’s still better to add the option as it can still trigger some readers.
A lot of panning and zooming between characters in a number of seconds were done where it would’ve been much cleaner if you just zoomed from one character to another in 0.
Another warning should’ve been added for the next flashback scene as it wasn’t really expected and can come off as a shock to a lot of readers and another option to skip should’ve also been added.
At the end of the episode, it says end of chapter 1 when it’s actually the end of chapter 2.

Overall feedback
The story so far seems a little dull. Maybe more will happen in future episodes I don’t know, but it is still good to make sure the episodes are interesting enough to make readers want to continue.
The directing is great and your punctuation and grammar is also good.

Thank you to @OreoBiscuit for this review.

Simila100's Review

My review for “The Proelium” :

Directing -

  • A few minor directing issues, but can be easily fixed: Sound sometimes cuts off unexpectedly, and sounds unnatural. Maybe you can fade out / fade in the music to make it sound less arupt? Just a suggestion, of course! :kissing_heart:
  • Another sound issue there was: In the scene introducing the mother / father, the music from the previous scene carried over before cutting out unexpectedly for the new music. Maybe you could fade it out to make it sound more natural, although that’s entirely up to you.
  • When Valerie and Aiden meet to talk about their guest, the story pans all the way into the second zone to show Aiden getting out of his seat to talk to his sister, which seems a little unnecessary imo.
  • In the scene where the MC jumps out of bed because of her nightmare, her roommate popped into the scene randomly, maybe you could use & to make the coding more smooth. Also, the MC is extremely small in her bed.
  • In the authors’ note FAQ, the speech bubbles are sometimes messed up and point to the wrong author?

Storyline -

  • I like the overall idea, about how the Earth had become destroyed. However, in the beginning, there is some extremely long narration, and personally, I prefer if authors show, not tell . Just my thoughts, maybe you could show the reader what’s going on?

First impressions -

  • Pretty positive first impressions, it was interesting to see how the Earth deteriorated and how humans gained powers.

Overall thoughts -

  • Neutral opinion; I like the storyline and how only certain people are allowed into the city, however there was a lot of narration.

Thank you to @Simila100 for this review.

3 Likes

Hi it’d be great if you guys could review my story! Thanks so much!
TITLE: The Depths of Newport
GENRE: Romance, Mystery
DESCRIPTION: Forced into Witness Protection, Nadia moves to a small town on the east coast. Juggling love, friendship, and school, Nadia uncovers what lies beneath the depths of Newport.
COVER:


Thank you so much @OreoBiscuit ! Your feedback is greatly appreciated, and I’ll fix the mistakes you mentioned as quickly as possible :slight_smile:

1 Like

The review is by @OreoBiscuit :blob_hearts:

I’ll add you to the waitlist, The Givers Club will be reviewing your story this week and post our reviews on Saturday, October 19, 2019 roughly at 6 pm EST :blob_hearts:

1 Like

Okay thanks so much!

1 Like

@makxoxo1500 just thought I’d let you know I updated your review post as another giver reviewed your story :+1: :blob_hearts: Thank you to @Simila100 :blob_hearts: :revolving_hearts:

3 Likes

Hi, can you review my story? I need to improve my story and need a lot of opinion on my story

Title: The Society (of Haverford)
Author: Scarlett:
Desc: Romeo of the House of Blue Eagle meets Juliette of the House Red Sparrow. One from fraternity, one from sorority & both despise one another.
CC ⁠— Choices Matter ⁠— LIMELIGHT

link:

The_Society_Vq_posterThumb_3hA7iMsZWV

I’ll add you to the waitlist, The Givers Club will be reviewing your story next week and post our reviews on Saturday, October 26, 2019 roughly at 6 pm EST :blob_sun:

Just a reminder that the Givers Club is active four months a year (yes, we all love giving but we also have individual things like our own review/help threads and/or school work we want to focus most of out attention on). Plus, some months may get more busy than others (ex. Christmas)

Months we will review:

So,

Reviews will open up again in February and be posted on Saturday, February 8, 2020, at approx 6 pm :newspaper_roll:

2 Likes

Thank you so so muchhh. I really appreciate what the Giver’s Club done to this community esp small authors like me

No problem and thank you for your kind words :jack_o_lantern: :sparkling_heart:

1 Like

Correction, they’ll open up again in January and be posted on Saturday, January 11, 2020, at approx 6 pm

A poll was conducted in Our Givers PM and it looks like January is also a month we will be reviewing :blob_sun: In that case, I’ll make the required changes to add January as a month that our Club will have reviews open. It is the only change we will make (I’ll add it into the first post).

So we will review on: Sept, Oct, Jan, Feb & March (all other months we will be on break because we have a lot going on in our lives such as school and helping/review threads/accounts to run). Thank you for understanding and rest assured, we love giving :hibiscus:

2 Likes