YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I missed this thread I have so much to rant about!
Yesterday I’m minding my own business eating chips and walking with Obama then this dude TAPS MY ASS okay I don’t even know him, but we didn’t talk about hot Cheetos for a second on Wednesday it’s Friday and he does that I thought it was an accident so I look at him he looks me dead in the eyes and smirk and I’m trying so hard not to spit my chips out. Then he disappeared and I’m just like bdidgsiwhw because that’s some bull and that never happened to me before I mean what happened to look don’t touch?! Or heck do I look like a hot bag of rap snacks?! My body is my temple and no one has the right to tap what they want when they want. I’m a frickin human being!
ive never ranted here before, i think?? but basically i wish people could stop lying and just admit things.
yestday, friday, at school we had assembly i went to sit down in my chair and i normally do this thing to see who sits down behind me - i get bored easily - some dude whos in my class - AL some people know who he is - sat down behind me. assembly started and ended nothing weird happened. OR SO I THOUGHT. apparently - according to this other guy who annoys me for fun - AL was rubbing under my chair because he knew i was sitting there and because well my ass was on the chair cause everyone sits on their ass he told me this in art, which we had after assembly, he then called out to AL "remember what happened in assembly " and he just started smiling uncontrollably which weirded me out. whenever i ask him what happened he keeps shrugging and smirking at me. like i just want to know.
I think I’m kinda… overly nice/bubbly so guys usually take my personality as flirtatious, and um… yea… BUT when I’m trying to flirt purposely, with someone I am into, I don’t even know what words come out of my mouth
Oof sometimes I’m really nice to certain guys (like ones who I’ve seen are nice to other people), or I observe them for longer than considered normal because that’s what I do to everyone and they think I’m attracted to them… and I’m not out (as a lesbian) yet so I just have to be like “oh no I’m not interested hahahaha that was just me being a normal straight”.
And then when I have an actual crush suddenly I can’t seem to talk at all and the girls are just confused and thinking I’m just awkwardly trying to make friends.
The Chronicles of Faith, Part 3/4, Can Life Just Treat Me Nicely?
So. I found out that I have anxiety. Wonderful… But it’s generalised anxiety disorder. I think I had it for a while, I tend to get agitated, stressed, tense… You know. And I have to perform a play in November. I just don’t want people to know, because I don’t want it to look like I’m seeking attention. I keep almost everything to myself. It’s better that way. And now I feel like everyone hates me because… it’s me, you know?
I can’t submit my goddamn story for the Thriller contest. I’m sad, angry, and very nervous. I had been planning it for months. I started working on it, planning 5 episodes. I made polls, used statistics. I worked my ass off, in school and out. I even skipped a few times, just to work on it. I got my cover today. All my splashes? Done. Overlays? Check. Backgrounds? Perfect. 2-3 weeks of hard work… down the drain. Damn, I really mess up a lot. Ugh…
Cutting. Alrighty… this is hard. I’ve been trying to stop. I finally built up the courage to tell my psychologist. She’s actually really nice. Doesn’t treat me like I’m crazy. I like her a lot. So, I told her that I go into a trance-like state when I cut. So, she gave me gum. And told me it helps to curb my urges to cut. But now it’s done. I need more. I don’t wanna start relying on my medicine again… sigh
My sexuality. I think I… might be straight? Possibly. Not sure, but there’s still that one special girl in my life. I told @AK16 about her. She means everything to me, and I don’t wanna leave her. I… love her?
Anyways, those 2 guys? Yeah. My crush keeps disappearing and it’s driving me insane!!! One day he’s here and surprises me. Next day, Expecto Patronum, he’s gone! See, this is why I don’t have a boyfriend! And I had a dream about the other one last week. shudders
Fake and toxic people. You know who you are. Don’t waste time starting drama. Find something else to do. Read a book. Bake. Write. Listen to music. Clean. Sleep. Watch Netflix. Please stop.
My depression may or may not be worse. I’m not sure. I still have suicidal thoughts, try to starve myself, overanalyze… And the rest. Plus, I’m unhappy… just, pathetic and alone.
That was long. That all happened within a few weeks? Damn.
So I met this really cool girl at the mall when I was spoiling my sister with whatever she wanted! Her name is April… I saw her from behind my sister and when my sister got up to go to the restroom, she walked over to me and said
“Do you go to LAHS?”
And I told her I did.
She said she had seen me around, but she’d never gotten the chance to say hello because we don’t have any classes together or anything. But she said I seemed cool
She asked for my number, and I gave her my phone and told her I had a girlfriend, so if we hang out, just to keep that in mind, and she’s said alright. So far so good
Well then my sister begged to go and see my GF (she’s like my sister’s role model so cute) to show her all of the makeup I bought her, and we went over to her house.
My girlfriend is on my phone a lot, but I don’t really mind. So she’s on my phone when April texted me, asking about us hanging out, and when I’d be available.
…
My girlfriend freaked out and automatically thought the worst things possible lol. So I had to explain and convince her I was just gonna be friends with her…
AND THEN.
MY SISTER.
SAYS
“Oh isn’t that the girl you were staring at?”
-burns the expensive makeup I bought her-
Ahem
I wasn’t even… smh… THIS WITCH JUST LOVESSS WATCHING SHIT HIT THE FAN!
So I explain again, and we are cool…
Fast forward to present… like right now…
April invited me to her dance competition, and I’d like to go… but um uh…, my girlfriend is gonna um…be a lil b*tch about it… I can see it coming from a mile away.
