The College Ready score was 70+.
1 Like
Yeah, but I thought it was 75+, so I felt bad.
1 Like
Seems like a freeverse poem either way full of emotion
1 Like
I’ve never been good at poems…
Theres millions of styles of poems
Freeverse is just writing down what u feel there doesnt have to be a rhyme or rythym to it. I think ud be good at poetry…or any artistic thing if ur into tht
1 Like
I like writing.
Bet ur good at it n.n
Keep writing dont lose ur expressive outlet/passion
1 Like
Thank you, Willow! I hope not to!
1 Like
I’m just ranting here about just my personal problems and teen angst and whatever… You can just ignore this. Swearing ahead.
Cringe!
I fucking hate myself. I’m fat, ugly, annoying, dumb, and I can never get anything done. I’m falling behind on school and all I want to do is cry. I could tell my parents, I know they’ll be there to help me, but I just can’t? I don’t want to worry them, get yelled at, or have them ask what’s the problem because frankly, even I don’t know. I feel uncomfortable in my body. It’s the only way I can describe it. I’ll just be laying in bed or sitting at my desk and I’ll just fidgety and squirmy from being uncomfortable. I don’t eat healthily and I don’t exercise. I don’t really have time to exercise because I’m always doing school, even though PE is a part of my school, and by “doing school” I mean… procrastinate by watching youtube and then stress about never getting anything done. What’s wrong with me? I just, don’t feel happy… When I smile I don’t even know if I feel happy or not. My chest feels so empty but also overflowing and my head feels stuffy and heavy. I can’t even think, it’s just all blank. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep. I don’t have hobbies or anything, and I hate that. I don’t have the energy or motivation. I don’t have motivation for anything. I’ve tried to eat healthily and exercise, but that only lasts for a few days. I’ve tried starving myself and only drink water and maybe eat an apple, but that only lasts for a few days too and I go back to eating everything in the house. It’s not like I’m hungry all the time, I just feel the need to eat because I have nothing better to do. I don’t even have a reason to hate my life. I don’t have to deal with drama, my family is well off, I get along with my sister and parents, and I live in an amazing area. Then why do I feel like crying all the time? I want to die but I’m not suicidal, it’s more like I just hate doing everything and want everything to end. 
6 Likes
nah I won’t ignore this
Hey Amber.
Frankly, we aren’t close, but I felt that I needed to respond to this because this honestly reminds me of myself last year.
Anyway.
You’re amazing. You’re wonderful, awesome, stupendous, lovely, sweet, kind, funny, remarkable, unique, extraordinary, beautiful, fantastic, phenomenal, incredible, marvellous, brilliant, fabulous, terrific, magnificent, and most of all you’re perfect. You’re perfect just the way you are, with all of the imperfections that you have—that’s what makes you perfect. And human! Okay, you cannot strive for perfection because perfection does not exist (sorry i just really really love prince ea). Maybe you aren’t the Next Top Model, but you are you, and the you are is the you we need. Because there isn’t any one else out there who is exactly like you. And you definitely aren’t annoying, I know that, your Discord fam knows that, and I pretty sure many people on the forums know that too. I like you, actually, I think you’d be a pretty sweet person to chill with. If you are anything like what you are on the forums, then you’re a quality girl.
I would tell you to tell your parents that you’re falling behind in school, but if I were you, I wouldn’t (my pride), so I don’t want to be hypocritical. But, honestly, telling them would probably lift a big burden off of your shoulders. I don’t know what you’re parents are like, so I can’t say how they would act, but sometimes parents surprise you. Thing is, you’ll never know unless you take that chance.
This, this, is honestly how I felt two years ago. I used to go to an all-girls school (interesting experience) and there I was the tallest and the largest girl in my grade. Wearing a uniform is hard enough, but one that doesn’t flatter your figure… Anyway, I’m not trying to make this all about me but I’m just saying that I get what you’re saying. It’s like you can adjust all you want but no position is comfortable for long… recently that feeling has made its comeback (since my parents thought it was a fAnTaStiC idea to cancel my rep soccer), but I remember when I just accepted myself for the slightly chubbier than normal black chick I am, and I just felt happier. I will never be those skinny white chicks with pounds of makeup on, but that’s okay. And yeah, I guess I could say that diet (can’t spell diet without die) and exercise will help, but I think those are just to get yourself healthier. Diets…yeah, I don’t like diets, I think you should eat what you want, but exercise is definitely good for you. Doesn’t have to be much, you could do like runs up and down the stairs if you wanted to, but just getting some physical activity is good. And please, please, don’t starve yourself. That’s honestly not a good idea. There’s a thing called water fasting that you could try if you really wanted to, but be sure to read all the precautions and talk to your doctor first. Please don’t do anything rash. Please.
At the end of the day, I think you’re awesome, and I hope you know that. I think you should talk to someone about this, maybe even your parents if you have the guts to; I’m pretty sure they’ll make accommodations to make you feel better. And yeah. I’m pretty sucky at giving advice or comforting people, so I hope that this helped somewhat. At least to know that you’ve got an ally somewhere in the world.
2 Likes
Awwwww Amber you’re honestly like the best person ever! And I hate that you feel so low. Honestly I wish I can just poof and change your mind but I can’t sadly, but I promise I’m here for you100% you know that. Especially here on the forums if you ever need to talk. Ik at first you don’t want to talk but honestly it’s the best thing to do, but don’t force yourself. Please please don’t starve yourself ik weight is 
but please starving yourself isn’t the best way it honestly doesn’t help, but for real I’m here if you wanna talk or need some advice. You’re too amazing to feel so low but heck that’s life. We all have our ups and down but trust me talking helps.
1 Like
I don’t even know how to respond to this? 
@Chocolate_Mama and @QueenChid, both of your posts actually made me cry, and that video. Price Ea is pretty awesome. Lol. But honestly, I don’t know how to respond. I was hoping nobody would actually respond to that post, seeing as how I just wanted to get off my chest, but thank you. Both of you.
idk how to say words lol bye
3 Likes
I feel at times but of course girl! Also if I see a friend upset I usually like to try and somewhat comfort because yeah y’all are the best!
1 Like
I just read it out loud… I think I might perform this for the talent show at my school…
1 Like
AHHAhhHA I am having a sugar rush NoWwwwWWW (tOO mUcH OReOssssss)
4 Likes
I think I am having sugar rush most of the times. I sneak Oreos under my blanket in night. Then quietly I munch at them.
1 Like
I donated my blood today. To the blood test people. Yeah, not the blood bank actually…I am not really 18+
I wish I could actually donate my blood, though.
I would be a really philanthropic person then!
I could actually save a life then, possibly!
But nooo, I had given my blood (they put the dark-ish red liquid in test tube like containers, put them inside a plastic and then stuffed that plastic inside a refrigerator and it took everything in me to not yell at them, “YOOO VAMPIREZZZ, SUCKAZZZ!!!”) so that they could do those complete blood count stuff (counting platelets, RBCs, WBCs, Haemoglobin and all) and another test I don’t know the name of 
Um, so the reason of doing the tests was because recently I had come out of a very dreadful disease prominent in my region and we need to be sure that it has gone completely outta my system.
Sooo, the reason of doing this rant is that I am just sick of these tests happening to me. The needles getting punched inside me, my skin getting washed by anesthesia, the cotton, the band-aid, the ORS drinking all the time, the BP testing…I just can’t help but rant out, both in real life and here 
4 Likes
This is why I’m fucked up
For the record, even I think I’m being over dramatic, desperate, attention seeking and overreacting.
I don’t know who I can tell this to anymore
This might be the worst place to say stuff
I just know there’s a bunch of you out there. I don’t mind if you see this, that’s why I’m doing this publicly. I just feel like maybe if I tell you, then you won’t be so harsh on me.
I had a best friend since I was 2. Let’s call her spider. Spider and me were friends since nursery and I loved her very much.
We went to primary (elementary) school together too. And all was good until year 6 (idk what that is in American terms, but in england it’s the last year of elementary school)
Uh well in year 6, Spider “dropped” me for this other girl we are going to call ponytail. Ponytail and Spider hung out together for the whole year, and I was left alone with erm no friends.
My mum told me “don’t worry, ponytail will end up going to a snobby private secondary school, and spider will come running back to you. You just have to wait a year” so I did. I waited a whole year, with no friends. No one to talk to. I came back from school everyday crying my eyes out to my mum, who at the time was sure I was the one driving my friend away. For a while, it felt like it was my fault, too. Spider definitely made me feel that way.
As of now, you’re probably thinking spider is a complete bitch. Reading it back, I think so too lol. But 11 year old me didn’t seem to think so.
As my mum predicted, at the end of the year, ponytail got a place in her snobby school and left. Straight away, Spider came to me and apologised. I accepted it straight away and we became bffs again.
Spider got put in a school, and I got put in a different school. So for the first year of secondary school, we weren’t in the same school. This was the first time I had been in a school without my best friend. I was shitting myself. Lol. But in no time at all, I had made new friends. And I was happier.
At the end of my first year in secondary school, Spider got a place in a new school and she enrolled herself. Literally a week after, the same school told me that I got a place there, too. My mum accepted the place and enrolled me.
So once again, me and spider would be attending the same school… together. At first, I was excited, but a little anxious. I was going to leave the school which I had grown to love over the past year, with all my new friends, just to go back to my crappy old friends.
I expected it would be ok, though. Me and Spider had had a year apart, maybe we would be able healthier relationship now.
The first year I was in this new school, it was actually pretty great. Me and spider made new friends, but stayed in the same friend group. It was me and her and three other girls. They seemed sweet at the time. For a whole year, it was ok, apart from the occasional argument between me and Spider here and there.
Then, this school year came around. And already I’m feeling depressing changes. Spider never texts me, calls me or talks to me unless she wants something. At lunch, it’s always her and the three other girls having a conversation. They always ignore me. Whenever I ask Spider if she’s free to come over, she says “I’ll ask my mum” and she never does.
Sometimes she makes arrangements with people in our friend group, and specifically says to them “don’t tell meadow we are doing this”
I feel like the other girls who I’m friends with are always on her side. They don’t give two craps about me. I don’t feel welcome to sit with them at lunch anymore. I feel depressed and lonely everyday. And whenever I mention it to someone, they always say “I’m not getting involved” or “you should respect spider’s decision” or “you’re being dramatic”
It’s like FUCK off. They’re being moronic as hell. I want to go back to my old school and forget Spider exists. But I’ve known her since I was 2, and a bond like that doesn’t go away that easily. Maybe for her it did, because now she barely talks to me or acknowledges that I exist. But for me it hurts. I ache when she give me her sarcastic eye rolls and turns her back to me. I ache when she ignores my presence and won’t answer me when I ask her even the simplest questions. I ache when I realise that mine and her friendship means so little to her.
I’m going insane. I’m getting depressed. I don’t want to go to school.
Tags guys if u don’t wanna read this I understand
@WinterMoon05
@epsd.ama
@Juann
@Chocolate_Mama
@Liam
@phlegmatic
7 Likes
Honestly Meadow you’re not being crazy I mean she’s your friend and all this bull happened…I’m in class and can’t make a nice long one but please hon talk to me whenever and just know that you deserve great friends that really care not just ones that use you okay my teacher is watching love you hon!
1 Like
Idk what to say to her anymore
She doesn’t understand that she’s hurting me so badly and if I bring it up somehow it will become my fault again and I can’t deal with that
I’m just crying rn and I feel like a fucking moron
But thank you❤️
1 Like