Hello, everyone. I’m @loveyourself and here to mainly help people.
I know that some of us have depression, anxiety, trauma, and/or just overall problems in life. I am here to ease your burdens. Hopefully. If you wanna talk about it. Sometimes we’re so sad that we can’t even find a purpose in our lives… No matter what, you are worth it. You are beautiful, and you are amazing. Sometimes we don’t think that. I myself have terrible insecurities and am often unable to see the good in me. But you are all great people who will do great things someday. It sounds cliche but it’s true. I want to believe in you and have faith in you. We all have struggles and I want to help you get rid of them. Yes, you are depressed. But that doesn’t make you any less human. Yes, you have anxiety. But guess what? You’re not inferior. You’re just like everyone else. You just have a mental illness. And that’s ok, I promise. Others… Hurt themselves. Because you’re hurting. I understand that. I’ve been hurting as well. We’re all hurt somehow.
My Experience (Trigger Warning)
I currently have depression and generalized anxiety disorder. With my depression, I’m extremely negative and often just, of course, sad. I’ve been depressed since middle school. What caused it, you say? Well, there’s always a reason behind everything. I was abused. Not physically, either. I will not get into it, but it’s scarred me for life and I now have trust issues because of it. I’m lonely and see myself as broken and impure. I’m hurt all the time. My depression got so bad that I attempted suicide several times. It never worked. I had no purpose in my life and thought, Why am I still alive? Now I’m seeing a therapist and trying to get the help that I need. I have not told my family because I don’t want to hurt them.
As for anxiety, I think I’ve always had it. I never really liked crowded spaces and/or presenting in a class. But I try hard to push it away, because I have to succeed and have a good life. Sometimes I have anxiety attacks. I’m able to dust myself off and be fine, but I am not fine at all. Anxiety really sucks, especially when I do Off-Broadway plays for my high school program. But I just keep to myself. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I’m lonely. You never know. It still affects me though. Sometimes my anxiety is like a circle of dominos. It leads to anger. Then depression. Then worthlessness. Then emptiness. After a while, suicidal thoughts. And finally, self-harm.
I’m really trying to stop my self-harm. I used razors and made superficial cuts. Most of the time, I completely blanked out and had no idea that I even did it until I saw my arm. Then my mom found out. She was pretty angry. (To this day I don’t know why.) I promised myself not to take my anger out on myself anymore. But I relapsed a few times. Even now, it’s hard to stop. But I’m trying my best to do so. The last time I relapsed, my friend caught me and took what I was using (my keys) right out of my hands. The day before, I had just told my guidance counselor about what happened to me in junior high (the abuse.) That triggered it. Now I know why I cut myself, too. Anger towards my abuser. Expected, huh? Well, I was still angry that I got molested by him, that 2 years later I let it completely mess with my head. Now I know I’ll stop.
If it is a crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
I want to help all of you as much as possible. If you can’t talk on here, you can always message me on here, on Instagram, or Discord. I love you. Please, stay alive for the people who need you.