The Therapist Thread 💙

Hello, everyone. I’m @loveyourself and here to mainly help people.

I know that some of us have depression, anxiety, trauma, and/or just overall problems in life. I am here to ease your burdens. Hopefully. If you wanna talk about it. Sometimes we’re so sad that we can’t even find a purpose in our lives… No matter what, you are worth it. You are beautiful, and you are amazing. Sometimes we don’t think that. I myself have terrible insecurities and am often unable to see the good in me. But you are all great people who will do great things someday. It sounds cliche but it’s true. I want to believe in you and have faith in you. We all have struggles and I want to help you get rid of them. Yes, you are depressed. But that doesn’t make you any less human. Yes, you have anxiety. But guess what? You’re not inferior. You’re just like everyone else. You just have a mental illness. And that’s ok, I promise. Others… Hurt themselves. Because you’re hurting. I understand that. I’ve been hurting as well. We’re all hurt somehow.

My Experience (Trigger Warning)

I currently have depression and generalized anxiety disorder. With my depression, I’m extremely negative and often just, of course, sad. I’ve been depressed since middle school. What caused it, you say? Well, there’s always a reason behind everything. I was abused. Not physically, either. I will not get into it, but it’s scarred me for life and I now have trust issues because of it. I’m lonely and see myself as broken and impure. I’m hurt all the time. My depression got so bad that I attempted suicide several times. It never worked. I had no purpose in my life and thought, Why am I still alive? Now I’m seeing a therapist and trying to get the help that I need. I have not told my family because I don’t want to hurt them.

As for anxiety, I think I’ve always had it. I never really liked crowded spaces and/or presenting in a class. But I try hard to push it away, because I have to succeed and have a good life. Sometimes I have anxiety attacks. I’m able to dust myself off and be fine, but I am not fine at all. Anxiety really sucks, especially when I do Off-Broadway plays for my high school program. But I just keep to myself. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I’m lonely. You never know. It still affects me though. Sometimes my anxiety is like a circle of dominos. It leads to anger. Then depression. Then worthlessness. Then emptiness. After a while, suicidal thoughts. And finally, self-harm.

I’m really trying to stop my self-harm. I used razors and made superficial cuts. Most of the time, I completely blanked out and had no idea that I even did it until I saw my arm. Then my mom found out. She was pretty angry. (To this day I don’t know why.) I promised myself not to take my anger out on myself anymore. But I relapsed a few times. Even now, it’s hard to stop. But I’m trying my best to do so. The last time I relapsed, my friend caught me and took what I was using (my keys) right out of my hands. The day before, I had just told my guidance counselor about what happened to me in junior high (the abuse.) That triggered it. Now I know why I cut myself, too. Anger towards my abuser. Expected, huh? Well, I was still angry that I got molested by him, that 2 years later I let it completely mess with my head. Now I know I’ll stop. :heart:

If it is a crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

I want to help all of you as much as possible. If you can’t talk on here, you can always message me on here, on Instagram, or Discord. I love you. Please, stay alive for the people who need you. :heart:

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Thanks
Whats ur discord?

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It’s loveyourself#7305. I think

I have had depression and been suicidal. I had a lot of therapy and support from family. I thought life was over for me and it would be easier to just say game over

but I kept trying and here I am years later happy smiling and all that is in the past

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That’s wonderful. Honestly, getting rid of depression is such a difficult journey to make. How exactly did you succeed?

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time therapy love and support. I did actually not notice id disaper I just one day though I haven’t it in like almost a year

a thing there surprise many is I never took anti-depression medicine. I took something else at the time and they could not work together

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So you’ve never needed anti-depressants? … That’s… Impressive, to be honest.

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yeah. but it is actually more easy to come out of depression without. but of course without there is bigger chance of suicide

well that is what I been told

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Yup. I’ve heard that they make suicidal thoughts worse.

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@inkkee You’ve typing for a while. :joy: Do you have anything to add? A problem to talk about?

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I don’t know if this is anything interesting but I thiught I might as well tell my story.

Summary

Okay it all started then I was 15, I’m currently 17. I was in a realtionship with my ex, whom had a depression. I knew that when we started dating, but I didn’t mind it. Then at some point his depression got worse and he started cutting and tried suicide. After some time all of this started to affect my own mental healt. I didn’t even realize it, suddently I was alone in my room crying with siccors on my hand and blood dripping from my arm. My ex found out and was mad for me for doing it. We both promised each other that neither of us will do it anymore. After some time my old best friend cut ties with me. I’d known her for 8years. That was really hard for me, since I was really close with her. One day I got into a fight with her in school. And every day when I was at school I was alone. I had noone. I only had my bf but he wasn’t from my school. After some time I started skipping school and when I was ar school I was feeling really bad. I always just kept headphones on my head on class and during breaks. I skipped meals. And then at some point the realtionship w my bf started to get bad. He used to stop talking to me for a week. Then apologized not giving me a reason for doing it. After some time he did it again and again. At one point it started to be 2 weeks without talking. All I could think of was did I do something wrong? Is he sick of me? Is he gonna break up? I was really unstable and I always just cried almost everyday in my room alone. Remember I had no friends, so I had nobody to talk about it all. As I was so unstable, I again started to cut myself but I just hid it from everyone. Then it was my birthday, we spent it together but I wasn’t feeling happy at all, I was feeling depressed and I just wanted to cry my eyes out and to jump under a train. Then it was our 2 year anniversary. He told me he’s going to a cruise with his friend. I ended up spending the whole day alone. At one point I was feeling really bad and talked to my bf about it wondering if I could have depression. He told me no since I was always so happy and I’m just overly emotional. Then one day I was really down I wanted nothing but to die. Nobody was home, so I took some alcohol and pills and took them. And then I took a razor and took the blade from it and started to cut my arms. I just cried and yelled in pain. My head couldn’t handle it all. I texted my bf to ask him to help me because he once promised me that he’ll be there for me since he didn’t want me to get depressed. He wasn’t there for me. EVER. Well then I took some more pills and sent my friends a goodbye text. Somehow my parents heard that I was gonna kill myself. My dad was on the other side of Finland so he couldn’t help and my mom was at work. So my sister came home and checkes that I was ok and alive. Then at some point I was down again. I tried getting help from our school psychologist but that did nothing. Then we went to an actual doctor and she checked my legs and arms since they had cuts. Then she did a test that showed that I have depression symptoms. Then I got sent to somewhere else where I got a depression diagnose. After some time I broke up w my bf sinve he was mentally abusive to me I guess. Or that I’ve been told. Then right after we broke up he sent me some text that made me miss him and want him back. He said he would answer me if he’ll want me or not when sunmer starts. I was again in a bad mood and time after another I started cutting. My arms ached. Then he said he didn’t want me since ”no boy want’s a girl who is filled with scars”. That broke me. I decided to start drinking to my sorrow. After that he told me I looks like a skeleton since I’m so slim. He told me I’m ugly, and pale. (One of the reasons why I’m really insecure) I was drinking w my friend and I just broke down and cried and wanted to cut myself but I didn’t have a balde w me. But after I got a psychologist I started to feel better. Still now and then I feel depressed. And I feel that the depression still plays a part in my life since my school is going really badly and I see it in other things too. But luckily I’m getting better.

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Yeah sorry I wanted to tell my own story😣

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I am so sorry. You are suffering, dear. And surprisingly, I’m 15. So I get it. Totally. Feeling abandoned and alone, yes. Is there any more I can do to help you? Please? I don’t want to pity you, I would like to empathize and help you.

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Thanks tho but I’m starting to be a bit better. I now have friends who I know I can trust and have proven to be there for me when I need it the most and I’m still seeing that psychologist. So I think I’ll be okay. And since I no longer have to worry and stress about a relationship. I only have that school problem but I might just quit it if it getd too much for me.

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Well that’s great. How often do you see her? (If you don’t wanna answer that then it’s ok.)

Once a week but like if I’m super depressed and can’t handle it I can call her

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Ahh. I only see mine once a week as well, but she’s at my school clinic. So I have to leave class to see her.

I sometimes have to leave class a bit too early if I have an appointment but it doesn’t bother me at all

Yeah. But somehow I’m able to talk to her better than I’m able to talk to my mom. Some things can’t be said, eh?

I relate so much. I find it so easy to talk to her. I could never tell all of it to my mom.

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