I read the first 2 chapters of your story, this is your review:
Language
Language is good
Grade: 8
Plot
IMPORTANT: explain what a tearjerker is!!!
The plot for now seems okay, I read 2 chapters. I do think you should make episodes and scenes longer…!
Another advice: instead of saying at the end of chapter 1 that the story will get better, just edit chapter 1 in a bit longer sentences and make Ash and Ben meet in a more frequent and less creepy way… (he really did come out of the blue)
Another thing: why can we customize her friends and not Ash?
Generally speaking the plot seems nice tho
Grade: 5
Directing
Kind of good, but I’ll tell you what I’m frequently told: use “&” to avoid characters popping in or cheerleaders dancing ONE AT THE TIME!
Plus you did forget to change Ash’s outfit when she speaks to her therapist quite many times
You have amazing and cool text effects! (Teach me lol)
Grade: 5
Creativity
It seems deep, compared to other silly stories. I can tell there is a bis mind and a wonderful idea behind the story!
Grade: 7.5
Overall grade: 5/10
I know it isn’t the best grade, but advices make your work better