Awww well I’m sure your story will be amazing 
I’m pre sure I got some of these in mine too lol, I’m revamping it though, fixing issues that need addressing, like grammar and spot directing since I kinda rushed it
there’s about 2 LI though there’s no rushing into getting with either, they’re brothers, there’s secrets and lies that the MC will uncover in season 2 which is starting sometime soonish… I’m pre sure mine is crap but hey I’m enjoying writing it never the less…
I’m sure yours will be great too…
oof i feel you about fixing issues because i’m finding some like errors such as forgetting to add gains for a choice and also some spot directing stuff too so I’m also trying to fix stuff.
You can just read mine if you want lol
DM me your story when you’re done revamping it!
I was bullied as well.
Throughout nearly my entire school life, my situation did not end until after graduation. I was bullied to my face, attacked on FB messaging (which is why I don’t use FB that much cause it’s toxic), and behind my back. I was bullied without knowing I was being bullied until I got out of school.
So, in my face was around preschool to 9th grade. I constantly transferred schools because of promotions my mom would get. Each school had a different way of bullying others and me. I would cause dents in lockers when I got angry and cried towards the bathrooms. When I saw my name on walls, I took scissors out of rage to scratch them out. The bullies ranged in size from an entire classroom to the entire school. The teachers never made it better; I believe only five, one each out of five different schools, of my teachers helped me smile. In elementary, I thought I was literally designed to be tormented by bullies and was nothing more than that. Eventually, I stopped believing that but, with that kind of thinking, a person would never stand-up for themselves… let alone with this in addition --> I tried to tell people about the bullying… but no one listened or did anything. In fact, I was the one getting their detentions and whoopins without me doing anything. The teacher listened to the other kids but me, the quietest kid in the class, got their punishments. So, I stopped talking and telling other people my pain. Why speak when no one would listen? No one cares. So, now I have a speech problem and didn’t know how to stand-up for myself until I got fed up in high school. When I fuss, I stutter, which makes it hard for people to take me seriously, so I refrain from talking and just glare now. It took a while to let my boyfriends know more about me because I have this constant fear that I’m uninteresting. I’m typically a counsellor for my friends but when my friends or ex boyfriends asked or still asks me what’s wrong, it took a while for me to speak up. There is more, but it’s already too long.
When it come to the person who bullied me and I didn’t know. My cousin had a friend in high school, who managed to bully and manipulate her so much that my own blood thought I was trying to conspire against her. She cut ties with me and I never knew until the day my cousin called to apologize, tell me about her horrific situations afterwards and the friend is still trying to find ways to bully both of us. The best thing is, m cousin and I grew closer again and we completely cut ties with the witch.
Bullying has it’s own sick way of traumatizing people. There is almost no such thing as standing-up for one’s self. The only time I had ever stood up to anyone was whenever the situation wasn’t about me but involved my friends and family and people I didn’t know. I had stood up for the people I loved no matter what but, to myself, I meant nothing anymore and so I unfortunately uncontrollably allowed people to treat me as such. So many counsellors I went to, but told them absolutely nothing. However, with my current boyfriend, I am learning to love myself for the first time and tell him everything. It feels like freedom I never had before. Through him I’ve gotten long term friends and I don’t feel like an outcast anymore. I’m still alive and in college. Now I stand up a lot better than I used too with more maturity. Kind of… I’m still learning. lol
So, for people making stories with bullies, these truths about the victim’s point of view might help to understand. Each of us deals with it differently. So, I’m kind of okay with bullies being in stories to strengthen the character. But, I dislike ones that rewards bullying. That’s so wrong. I couldn’t read something like that. I would be so enraged.
I recently stopped reading a story because of what I saw in screenshots There was a student-teacher relationship and the girl stalked the teacher beforehand. There’s basically no consequences for this and they end up together. Younger readers are probably reading the story and it’s not showing how manipulative and wrong it is. I just couldn’t continue.
Another one I stopped reading had the repetitive story line about girls bullying the MC for basically the whole story (one with many chapters). I was bullied throughout school so it hits home for me. I don’t recall any consequences for the bullies so far. I didn’t sign up to read a story about bullying though 
Uhh there are some things
"diversity" - diversity doesn’t mean only adding black characters. It means adding black characters and more characters who are less popular in stories. For examples, I’ve never seen a Jewish main character/side character in any story except from the one that are written by jewish people;;
Rushing romance - C’mon. My crush isn’t going to fall in love with me the second I enter to school. It’s unrealistic and that’s not how it works;-; I hate it when characters kiss on the second or the first episode. This one’s really a turn off for me (maybe cuz I love slowburns)
Characters talking to the author- I just find it really cringy and uncesseary.
Too much pain for the MC - Adding angst scenes it’s amazing and I love reading sad stories but I remember reading a story when the MC was abused, in a car accident, addicted to drugs, and pregnant. Like seriously? Is that a way to add more drama to the story?
When every character but the MC and the love interest has no personality- believe it or not, I like also to see the story from a side character perspective.
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Bad spot directing.
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Incorrect portrayal of diversity.
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Stereotypes (Ughhh, this one really gets to me).
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Cliches.
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Terrible grammar or spelling.
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CC.
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Too much sex scenes (Like okay, we get it! You are a sex fiend!).
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Offensive stories.
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No choices at all. Or when there is a pointless choice. Uhh, what is the point of making choices if it leads to the same thing?
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Too much art scenes.
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Telling instead of showing. We need to feel what the character feels!
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Mean girls in which the only purpose on their lives (and story) is to destroy MC’s life.
They are humans too, okay?
There’s more, but the list would get too long.
A simple answer is just anything cliché
I need to be able to relate to characters in the story to read it. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t like Under You…
I think the mistake in her story shines bright like a dream.
No mistake= childish
Mistake= is awesome.
Mistake made a story better. 
Mistakes are something you…generally don’t want in a story. They are, by definition, something that is wrong. Don’t get me wrong, all authors make mistakes (like you did in your story) but having mistakes doesn’t make things good. I honestly don’t understand why mistakes would improve the quality of the story. And, if anything, mistakes are often because of ignorance or carelessness. Qualities associated with childishness.
In other words,
Mistake = childish
No mistake = not necessary awesome but it still makes it clear more care went into the story to make sure no mistakes were made.
That’s why most people (myself included) find a story with so many mistakes impossible to read. They are not supposed to be there.
Ok but it my thought
though doesn’t anyone have any thing they have to do.
You can comment on the forums and have other stuff to do at the same time.
I genuinely like both mistakes and no mistakes, it shows the humanity in the story. Some people work hard and forget, newer writers will generally make more mistakes than someone who does not, and so on. I don’t like particular mistakes, however, if a storyline is good, I can tolerate it. If a story is terrible and has no mistakes, I can’t read it; the storyline sucks. So, really, I think I read based on perspective and for a good storyline, like Little Things make have many mistakes, but I love that story so much because I understand what’s going on and know it’s a comedy. So, I suppose it’s truly one’s own ideas about how high the sitch is with mistakes. Mines seem to be in balance with both sides. Both are simply human to me. 
A few spelling mistakes I can understand if it’s obvious that the author didn’t notice because they might’ve put so much effort into something like directing to make up for it. If it keeps happening though it’d have to be some of the most amazing directing I’ve seen on Episode
. If an author is newer, or it’s the beginning of the story I’m a lot more understanding of the things that annoy tf out of me… if the author keeps writing like 10+ and it doesn’t get better I’m done, especially if it has a lot of views. Like if it’s new, even if the author is new I could see how they’re not getting feedback to correct their mistakes, but at least go over it yourself
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I recently got pretty far into a story… like 47 out of 50 currently out because the directing was so bad and STAYED that bad. I read that far into it out of laziness to find another story.
Then I was like this author just doesn’t gaf I guess, so if they’re going to be lazy I guess I’m not going to be able to and find a new story😳 (and it had a few thousand views)
I’m prolly just being salty though bc I’m currently writing my first story that I tried to make readers want to view. I finally realized that bc of what the story is actually about, that’s probably not logical… I’ve put the last few months into it though focusing on every little detail. It probably would have helped if I actually looked at and directions and videos on the portal before I started(I always do things the hard way and figure it out on my own). I’m still finish writing it though because it’s an important story to me🤷🏻♀️
I kinda went off topic, I just figured I should put my story on blast if I’m going to criticize others 
To be honest if she put her story up in the first place, she will expect criticism and that’s what every author should expect.
But most of my opinions on that comment has changed because I don’t really think like that anymore so this is old.
childish is a criticism… just because her story is about “serious” topics doesn’t make her story prone to criticism
Using this “I worked hard on it” is very guilt trippy. If someone doesn’t like your story then deal with it.
Some things that make me not want to finish:
- Having to CC more than 3 characters at the beginning. Especially if we have to CC the parents, best friends, etc.
- Mobile creator stories - no zooms, default transitions, pre-made outfits, awkward timing. The vast majority of them are poorly made/parodies.
- If it begins with something like ‘My name’s Becky, this is my only BFF since kindergarten because I’m such a nerd, and I get bullied by the blonde mean girl.’
- Bullies with childish insults. I’m not sure how to explain this, but I’ve read about a lot of bullies in stories saying ‘You’re a disgrace to the human race and you will never fit in because you’re just a freak.’ I have no idea how people old enough to use episode think bullies actually talk like this.
- Text speech and poor grammar, e.g. using ‘2’ instead of ‘to’, ‘u’ instead of ‘you’, and abbreviations such as ‘omg’ and ‘lol’.
When it is written that the choices matter but they don’t really matter because whatever you choose the end is the same for everyone(No hate)