I’ll take a look now, but I don’t really do R4R so don’t worry about mine haha
Thank you so much!
Damn, it’s long. Starting episode 2 now. Feedback might be in a couple hours coz I’m heading out. Do you want me to pm it to you or on your thread?
PM me. Episode 2 isn’t finished so it shouldn’t be that lengthy.
Hi! I would like to do a read for read!
I will send you screenshots when I have read your story.
Titile:Fantastical: The Mermaid
Plot: Kyle is a chef always looking for new and exotic ways to expand the taste of his cooking. One day while searching for fish; his boat accidentally crashes and Kyle falls into the forbbiden waters of Gaya, where he meets the guardian of the sea.
Here are some of my points and advice.
-I really enjoyed your dialogue and narration. It was almost like a book with all the thought or details.
-however, some overalys like the first “recording” overlay need to be adjusted. I would recommend zooming on closer so the recording overlay borders the screen like a real recording.
-I would also try out custom backgrounds, you can look at pinterest for cool backgrounds that can make your story look flawless. You can simply use Microsoft pain to resize the photo to requirements or preview on Mac from the tools tab.
-you should pick a point of view. And what I mean by this is; don’t use the narration bar for thoughts or other characters. Only the main character. I usually only use the narrator bubble for details, explanations, or character thoughts when they aren’t in the scene.
You can add thought bubbles by simply putting ( ) around the setences, example:
(She really smells like lettuce)
And that will make your dialogue into a thought bubble.
-I would also recommend using more zooming. It adds professionalism. (Zoom on faces when they’re talking etc.) but not too frequently.
-you did great on spot placement and animations. Those are always the most tedious to do.
-I love your character outfits. Mermaids looked so cute.
-lastly, I would recommend changing the cover. Covers work like thumbnails and will attract readers. Adding an attractive male, female, or both with surely invite others. Usually people use episode designed characters for their cover art but you can use different designs. You can find threads on here of people doing free cover art. They’re really good at it.
I think your cover art is lovely, it just lacks things that people usually look for, (romance, attraction, and contrast)
I hope this helped!
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings if I did, I was being as helpful as possible. I think your story line is so cute and with the right editing this could be a great success on episode.
Thanks again <3
I’m gonna try it out too and I’ll give a review soon..
Hey there, @ZADDY! I understand how tough it is to start off with a new story. I’d love to read it and give you my feedback. (I’ll send it through a PM) I hope you’d like to take a look at my story too. I’ll leave the details below:
Blurb: Arion’s ready to risk it all to make her dreams come true. Leslie sees him every day, yet fails to recognize who he is. Watch them fall in love…without ever meeting each other.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6116658762874880 1
My Instagram: @aprilish.episode
Thank you so much!
I think it was amazing as you really got personal with the reader in a nice way of course.
You could be more experimental with zooming.
If you’d like to read mine, this is it:
FANTASTICAL: WORLDS COLLIDE
@ZADDY Thank you for your honest review it was very helpful. I usually do the art myself, I have nothing against other people making my cover but I I just like to show my art. I’m constantly changing the cover. Here is the original cover that I had.
You didn’t hurt my feelings by the way.
Hey guys! So I’m working on some new covers. Can you tell me which one is better out of the ones I have so far?
Scroll up to see the others…
Still doing read for reads.
Yes I updated and added a few things.
But I have other stories you can read