Sorry for the really long paragraph, lol.
By that logic, cis heteroromantic/heterosexual people are included in pride? Like, yeah, be proud of who you are, but pride is about existing and thriving despite the obstacles LGBT ppl face.
2 Likes
I have not read most of the topic, but I want to share something.
I included five sexualities for one of my stories. Hetero, Homo, Bi, Pan and Ace - but for Ace, I also included a romance preference. I got so many fanmails thanking me for including a romance-gender choice because people tend to think that Asexual automatically means Aromatic.
Being Asexual does not automatically mean you don’t want relationships. ‘Aces’ want relationships as well, and it’s wrong to assume they don’t.
I believe that the story that is being hinted at throughout the thread 100% deserved to be on the shelf because Aces are so so so so so very unrepresented in most stories. Even if the MC was heteromantic (maybe she was Bi or Pan Rom, I didn’t get that far) - I believe this is the first Ace- focus story ever on the shelves. Probably one of the few stories with an Ace-MC ever on ANY shelf.
On the topic of Ci-idcwhatever, I don’t want to add anything.
On the topic of non-lgbt ppl see the letters as a joke, uh yeah. It kind of is. There’s so many sexualities, then there’s romances, and gender identities it’s extremely complicated, and very ridiculous at times. Part of the jokes (like the I identify a an asapache attack helicopter) comes from how everything must be accepted now and how many terms there are.
4 Likes
I respectfully disagree. Pride is for LGBT people, if you are cisgender and don’t feel attraction towards the same gender then it’s not your celebration. You haven’t faced the systematic opression that LGBT people have had to endure for centuries. But you are more than welcome to celebrate with friends and family who are LGBT, of course!
2 Likes
I totally agree with what you said! You took the words right out of my mouth. Adding letters whenever someone from Tumblr feels like it definitely leads to people not taking us seriously and erases years and years of struggle!
hello! i agree, everyone deserves pride in theirself and their own sexuality! i hope all straight people have pride in their straight-ness, and that they feel fit in. however, pride month in June is specifically for LGBTQ+ people, because, they don’t always have pride. if you don’t know, many people who apart of that community have to come out. straight people do not have to come out. “mom, dad, i’m straight” isn’t a usual term people have to say. because, god started two people who are straight, you know, adam and eve. LGBTQ+ people are going against this, and are doing whatever makes them feel happy (that’s good). because god started the people as straight, people usually start straight (in their parents mind). that’s why people have to come out, to tell others that they do not fit the standard. because they have to come out, they may lose pride in themself, they think they’re disappointing others and their family. so, we have pride month to tell them, “you’re not alone, we love you”. LGBTQ+ people lose their jobs, get bullied, etc, for simply loving whoever they want to love. so, we want to celebrate equality and make sure that they feel fit in. does that make sense? yeah. but i hope all straight people love their straight-ness. but we want something for the LGBTQ+ beauties who should know they’re loved. 
4 Likes
“asexual cishet people don’t face the same struggles that LGBT people do”
You’re right. Cishet aces won’t face the same struggles that other LGBT+ people do. But pride isn’t about comparing our struggles. Just because one person has dealt with less discrimination than another does not mean they are less valid than that other person. Also, isn’t this the same argument (“___ don’t face the same struggles that most LGBT+ people do”) people use to exclude bi/pan/trans/etc. people in straight passing relationships from pride? If we continue to gatekeep this community, then where do we stop? Do we exclude panromantic heterosexuals? Or heteromantic bisexuals? Does being heterosexual OR heteromantic (not at the same time) immediately exclude someone from calling themself LGBT+? My point is that it seems hypocritical to exclude only some aces and include others.
”we, as a community, should get our sh*t together and come up with a clear definition of who is queer/LGBT.”
Here’s what I define it as: anybody who is not cisgender and heterosexual+heteromantic. So, by my definition, if you are not both cisgender and hetero, then you are LGBT+. If you say being trans or attracted to the same gender is LGBT+ then that excludes people who are solely attracted to nonbinary people and nonbinary people. There are just too many loopholes, so its simplest to just say LGBT+ means not being cis and heteromantic+heterosexual at the same time.
5 Likes
What I’m saying is, aromantic and asexual people are pretty much in the same boat. But aromantic people can be heterosexual. I know that asexuals can’t be heterosexual, but they can be heteroromantic. Hetero = straight to me. If you’re straight and cis, you’re not lgbt.
Ok, nobody is actually a heteroromantic bisexual. I’m bisexual and to me that’s just offensive. Also, “straight passing privilege” doesn’t exist.
Correct me if I’m wrong but if you could be gay/bi and attracted to nb people, as long as they’re aligned to a certain gender. Also, again, I’ve never met anyone only attracted to non-aligned nb people, but maybe there are some people out there.
Anyway, the struggles people face isn’t really the important thing: cishet aces are literally… just… not lgbt? there is literally nothing gay/queer about exclusively dating the opposite gender.
As a community, why don’t we just recognize that there is an intersection between the LGBT community and ace community, but that not all aces are LGBT?
Some of y’all so pressed lol. Cishets aren’t LGBT.
Also, real quick: everyone always forgets about aromantics, lol.
Hi, aces can be bullied but so can anyone else. Just because some people are assholes doesn’t mean aces are inherently LGBT. Also, I don’t think aces/aros are legitimately discriminated against, whether that’s legally or in the workplace, or for housing, whatever.
I know I’ve just commented a ton but I want to say something else. Let’s take into consideration the diversity of the ace spectrum. You’ve got asexuals, gray a’s, and demisexuals. So you’re telling me that if you’re cis, heteromantic, and only want to have sex with the opposite gender after forming a bond, then you’re… LGBT?
, whAT???
(edit: im going to bed so I’ll read all of the pressed comments in the morning)
I’m bi too, and there are people like that who do exist (though they are rare). Also, people who are only attracted to nb people are skoliosexual (correct me if I’m wrong). And in regards to the straight passing thing, some people don’t like “straight” couples at pride (whether they are LGBT+ or allies), and invalidate bis/pans/etc.’s experiences because we can “just choose to be in a straight relationship”, or even worse, we “just need to pick a side” (I unfortunately know some people who think this).
Anyways, I disagree, but I don’t think we’ll change each other’s opinions haha. Have a nice night/day!
3 Likes
Thanks. I will agree with you on one thing- a lot of LGBT people are biphobic ://
1 Like
Pride is here for the LGBT+ community, with all the disgusting homophobics in this world, it is a way to support them, in a way I don’t think cisgender should be included. Whoever isn’t transgender and identify themselves as their own gender, won’t get any homophobic comments. Whereas those who do will get lots of unnecessary backlash and hate. Why should their be pride for something that is not ever deemed as wrong or get any hate? It is like saying “Oh I’m straight, I’m LGBT+”.
1 Like
Do you mean cishet? I’m cisgender and bisexual, so I’m LGBT.
Hi, asexual people have been in the LGBT community for years, but used to go under the term bisexual for simplicity. Stop erasing them. They are inherently queer. Corrective rape is a thing and google is entirely free.
6 Likes
I actually have to disagree with you on this.
Firstly, no one really has to come out to their parents, it’s always one’s choice. I am ace and while I’m out to everyone of my friends, I chose not to come out to my parents because I know them, and I knew that if they learnt about it, they would try to “fix” me.
Someone outed me to my parents back when I was 16, and wow, they made me go to therapists and have their religious leaders talk to me because my existence is “wrong”. To add on, a guy I considered a friend sexually abused me because he wanted to “fix” my asexuality. So ace people do struggle with issues that go further than " being called a plant and just people being assholes in general."
Like I said, I’m ace, I’m also nb and panromantic, but being ace is just as important. Being ace has actually put me through a lot of stuff, and yes, I have been discriminated against for being ace, people have treated me differently after I’ve come out, and I have lost friendships over that.
I have to admit I don’t know much on the story of the asexual label. But I do know it’s a fairly new identity (I am not saying ace people haven’t existed before, I’m just saying we didn’t have a label to identify with). So it makes sense that it’s only recent that ace people have been wanted to be included in the LGBT+ community and in pride.
So… yeah, I think cishet aces belong in the community and in pride. Being ace immediately makes you “not straight” aka queer.
6 Likes
Being asexual is hard as well. Due to my mental ilness, I feel like I need to make my partner as happy as possible. With that being said, sex is included in this. I’m a bi-romantic asexual. See what I did there? BI ROMANTIC. Asexuality is a sexuality of its own. And we face many struggles. I feel like I have to be used to make my partner “happy” and this is not okay. This is one lf the many damages that are caused.
4 Likes