Thoughts on my first chapter?

[Storyfaerie]

And more information on the story itself.

Opinions on my story idea?

This is going to be my first time trying to post a story on Episode! I’ve been writing since I was 7, though mostly for the sake of self-indulgence. All of my characters are very important to me as I’ve been crafting some of them for years. I’m confident in my ability to portray their personalities, as well as coming up with certain plot points, but my problem tends to stem from figuring out how to pace it and turn it into a comprehensive series. This story, in particular, is going to be Romanc…