𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔼𝕩𝕔𝕦𝕤𝕖 ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖

[Normal_Is_Boring]

(𝘛𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘗𝘪𝘤)

The excuse note is (in America, at least) a time-honored tradition for both parents and scheming students alike. Whether you’ve twisted your ankle and need a note excusing you from gym or the classic crafting an excuse for showing up suspiciously late, the excuse note is a sacred practice used for generations. This thread honors the tradition with:

T̲h̲e̲ E̲x̲c̲u̲s̲e̲ N̲o̲t̲e̲ G̲a̲m̲e̲ - write your best/most creative excuse note for the situation provided.

The person before you will provide your prompt; your job is to write a note excusing the situation and then provide a prompt for the next person.

Your goal is to make either as b̲e̲l̲i̲e̲v̲a̲b̲l̲e̲ or c̲r̲e̲a̲t̲i̲v̲e̲ an excuse note as you can.

I will select some of the excuses that I consider to be the best and award them a permanent spot on the excuse note Hall of Fame (below).

T̲h̲e̲ E̲x̲c̲u̲s̲e̲ N̲o̲t̲e̲ H̲a̲l̲l̲ o̲f̲ F̲a̲m̲e̲

@CrimsonCat6

Dear Perseus,

Allow me to start by saying that I am sincerely sorry for turning all those people to stone. It’s just that Athena was such a pathetic b**** for turning me into this hideous… thing! Like, who cares if I invaded your temple just to make out with her uncle? Did she really feel this was necessary? Sigh… anyway—sorry for doing all that. But, let’s be totally honest. Those people were annoying. You should be thanking me for decorating the towns with all those beautiful statues! Now please put my head back on my body.

• Medusa

^For creativity and a well-researched basis.

@AngelWings1983

Dear Cinderella,
My dear stepdaughter Cinderella… I don’t know what to say… I loved your father with whole my heart and was devastated after he died. I know killing him is no excuse, but I wanted the money from his life insurance to pay the bills of the castle. Please, let me know if this letter arrives in good state and if you want to set me and your stepsisters free, soon. The dungeon we are staying in is cold and isolated.
Love,
Your stepmother

^For the fakest pleasantries.

@evelynn.writes

Dear Samson,
My sincerest apologies for cutting your hair, betraying you, and being the cause of your death. If I’m being completely honest, which I’m sure you’d have appreciated, I think you made too much of a big deal out of it stop being a baby and just grow it back, but really I am very sorry and now clearly understand my mistake, and how important it is to you. If it’s any help, you at least looked better on your deathbed, it really could’ve used a trim anyway, so in that way I more did you a favour. Not that it matters to you anymore, you know, because you know, you’re dead, but it wasn’t anything personal, just business.
-Delilah

^For a nearly completely genuine apology.

@Melish.episode

Dear Humans,
Look, I know I ruined and infected your world for almost two years… But I have a valid reason! You see, I got jealous when I saw other diseases infecting you, and I wasn’t allowed to come because I was too powerful. (I’m not bragging, I’m just too good ) So anyways… You people are so happy with your dilly-dallying, so I want a chance to ruin everything! It’s what every disease dreams of every since they’re born, so this is my time to shine. But I don’t feel like going back after being here for so long, it feels like home now! I hope you don’t mind? Nah, I’m sure you won’t! Thanks for everything, puny humans.

Yours truly,
Corona virus

^For adding insult to injury.

@Normal_Is_Boring

Dear Snow White,
Alright, alright, I apologize for offering you that poisoned apple! But it’s not my fault you were gullible enough to eat it! I mean, come on - a woman who hates your guts and has already tried to kill you once offers you something to eat and you just fall for it?! Pleeeeeaase, you deserved to die at that point. But back to my point, I’m… sorry (boy, I hate saying that ) for trying to kill you, but you were a threat to my reign, little twerp! And that stupid mirror wouldn’t shut up about how pretty you were!! But please, show some mercy on your stepmother and let me out of this dungeon. I promise not to kill you or whatever.

Signed,
The Evil Queen

^Awarded by popular consensus.

@ColeCatalyst

Dear God,
Okay, yes, we did eat the apple that you told us not to. For real, though, it was the snake that told us to and I mean really… who doesn’t love apples? Besides, if we get to the real point: Why did you give us a tree you didn’t want us to eat from? The blame is really put on you, isn’t it? But, I digress. This whole “banished from the Garden” thing really sucks. So, yeah… sorry for the apple thing! Can we come back now?

–A & E

^For extensive use of “the blame game.”

@CrimsonCat6

Dear Troy, (I think)

I heard there was a horrible incident among your people—one that is particularly my fault in starting. I just want to say… Bich, I’m not f*cking sorry. All I did was try to hand a shmexy bich to some dude who was desperate. And from one shmexy bich to another, I was doing him a favor. It’s not my fault all those dudes hid in a giant horse and killed your people and kidnapped your Princess/Queen, whoever dafuq that bich was. That was all THEIR doing, not mine. Why am I even writing this excuse note for you? Go home!

Aphrodite

*P.S. I still got the golden apple in the end so there

^For nailing the attitude.

@BestFriend

Dear Earth,
I am sorry I killed many people, but I couldn’t help it. Plus, you guys wanted me to come in by creating me, and that’s not my fault. You even had covid parties to welcome me in, and the first one that got me would get cash. You all huddled together. I mean, Planet Earth, we just liked your race. We swarmed China, America, and even Russia. I didn’t touch that one town in Sicily, you can give me that~!

Not only that, but you spread propaganda to get people to not protect themselves from me and deny my existence. It can’t be fully my fault. Sure I go inside willingly, but… Um, I’m just built like that? Um… I can’t really help it. I multiply, but I’m not sentient, so that’s not my fault. How am I writing this, then? Um… I don’t know.
Sincerely,
COVID

^For the best unexpected existential crisis.

@CovfefeBoss

To whom it may concern,

Please excuse Brutus from taking part in the murder of Caesar. It was a group effort, and he wasn’t the person who orchestrated the murder; that honor goes to Caius Cassius. Furthermore, giving credit only to one senator out of many hardly seems fair. Amogus insists he stabbed Caesar twice, but his name isn’t recorded anywhere, even on the Senate roster. As such, it is only fair that Brutus be assigned a small penance. Mopping up the blood on the Senate floor should suffice. There is no need to make a tragedy out of all this. After all, this kind of thing happens every week.

Sincerely,
Marc Antony

^For amazing dry humor and historical accuracy.

@FeeneyK0405

Dear Episode Readers,
Please excuse me for showing up in your favourite episode sitcom, but you see, after my immense popularity faded into the background, I considered taking an unexpected route. I wish to remind readers of how I shaped the Episode platform. Look at Chain Reaction for example, it’s the most read episode story of all time, and what story is it? A mafia story. I wanted readers to fall in love with idiotic MC’s and toxic masculinity again. All the cheesy lines and cliches with their logic that makes no sense. For if people don’t like mafia stories as mafia stories, then where else could they go?
From, Mafia Stories

^For eloquence.

@Lxyi

Dear y/n,

I apologize sincerely for failing the “easy” math test, but it was those brain fart moments where the words were not wording and I (the brain) was not braining. Plus, some strange things pop up in me (the brain) because you like to stay up late reading some questionable and slightly concerning things on wattpad. Don’t listen to the doctors, no medication or therapy can cure this problem of Lack of Concentration and Lack of Braincells (and of course Too Much Dumbness), in short LOCLOBTMD.

I advise you to just develop a growth mindset and continue striving to become less intelligent as this is the only path left for you. After all, if you are something, you should be that thing all the way, and I strongly think that you should listen to me since I control you anyway.

By the way, I would like to temporarily resign, maybe take a vacation to space. You see, I do bear quite a lot of responsibilies. Perhaps the stomach can be a good substitute while I’m gone. What are your thoughts on a permanent vacation?

I hope you consider, please continue failing your examinations It’s better to be unique!!

-Brain, aka inspirational and moral supporter

^For extreme relatability.

---

I will start us off with an example excuse note and a prompt for the first contestant.

Example prompt: Write a note excusing Scar for killing Mufasa.

Dear Simba,
Kindly excuse our leader for killing your father. It wasn’t anything personal (not really anyway), he just stood in Master Scar’s way. It was all part of Master’s grand plan for riches and glory, you see. I guess we apologize for all the years you thought it was your fault.
No hard feelings,
The hyenas

Next prompt: Excuse Mordred for betraying King Arthur.

Please be mindful of what you comment. If I deem your post inappropriate, I will flag it.

Tags to get this thing started:

(People from the Breakup Game and some friends.)
@Whispering_Flower @BrookeTurner @MG_789 @mondalsushanta637 @pardeep @Shahtuta @girgitii @BLUEANDGREY @BlackHearted @episodeLynne
Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged!

Helping out with some tags of your own would be greatly appreciated!

[Melish.episode]

Prompt: Excuse Mordred for betraying King Arthur.

Dear Guinevere,
So, I know what Mordred did was unforgivable since he tried to take you as his wife and your husband’s throne. But all he wanted was to be rich and powerful. I’m sure we all have that wish, at least once in a lifetime? That’s all he ever wanted. And of course, he used to have a crush on you for countless years, because of your beauty and pure awesomeness! I’m sure what he did can be excused, right?
Yours truly,
Morgana

Seems like a fun game, great idea! Not sure if this excuse note is accurate, haha honored to be the first person to participate

Next prompt: Excuse Poseidon for plotting against Zeus.

[Normal_Is_Boring]

@Melish.episode

Seems like a fun game, great idea!

Thanks!

@Melish.episode

Not sure if this excuse note is accurate, haha

Doesn’t matter, so long as it’s entertaining.

[episodeLynne]

Okay lmt
Dear Zeus
I know what I did was wrong but the truth is I though was the one to be the god of the sky.
and someday I hope you forgive my sins tell my nephew I’m sorry and this time I mean it I hope we can be a family again come to the underworld if you like and I will be having a feast ready for you to say sorry for my sins I miss you and Love you all
Hates
Next prompt: Excuse Medusa turning people into stone.

Hope this is okay

[CrimsonCat6]

Dear Perseus,

Allow me to start by saying that I am sincerely sorry for turning all those people to stone. It’s just that Athena was such a pathetic b**** for turning me into this hideous… thing! Like, who cares if I invaded your temple just to make out with her uncle? Did she really feel this was necessary? Sigh… anyway—sorry for doing all that. But, let’s be totally honest. Those people were annoying. You should be thanking me for decorating the towns with all those beautiful statues! Now please put my head back on my body.

• Medusa

[Cinnamon_Ella]

What’s the next prompt?

[CrimsonCat6]

Oh shoot

Um… here’s one!

NEW PROMPT: Have the evil stepmother give Cinderella an excuse for ruining her entire life.

[Normal_Is_Boring]

@episodeLynne

Hope this is okay

Beautiful, except the prompt was to excuse Poseidon, not Hades. It’s fine, though; I think it’s funnier this way.

---

@CrimsonCat6

Dear Perseus,

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our first excuse for the Hall of Fame!

[Melish.episode]

@Normal_Is_Boring

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our first excuse for the Hall of Fame!

Congrats! @CrimsonCat6

[AngelWings1983]

Dear Cinderella,
My dear stepdaughter Cinderella… I don’t know what to say… I loved your father with whole my heart and was devastated after he died. I know killing him is no excuse, but I wanted the money from his life insurance to pay the bills of the castle. Please, let me know if this letter arrives in good state and if you want to set me and your stepsisters free, soon. The dungeon we are staying in is cold and isolated. Love your stepmother

New prompt: The excuse from Delilah for cutting off Samsons hair.

[Normal_Is_Boring]

Nice.

[CrimsonCat6]

No way! TYSM!

[episodeLynne]

Oh okay I thought it might be Hades cause in the movie Hades steels souls and he is the villein who stole Hercules and tried to kill him by turning him into a human to kill him but failed so that’s were I got Hades from.

[Normal_Is_Boring]

Yeah, there’s an argument for both. Greek gods were notably less than perfect.

[Davideogurl]

Bump!

[Normal_Is_Boring]

Thank you!

Some tags, let's keep this thing going!

Tagging at random: @april_episode @Canvas @evelynn.writes @Leana2 @tea.coral @Devil_Herself @amanaaattt @k.w.episode @Honey_bae @LauraC
Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged!

[evelynn.writes]

I’d like to, but am I allowed to ask for a new prompt? I don’t know who Delilah and Samson are.
Hopefully it’s not common knowledge I’m supposed to know.

[Normal_Is_Boring]

They’re a pair from the bible. Weird story short, Delilah romanced him just to betray him by cutting his hair. Samson’s uncut hair gave him super strength, and cutting it made him weak. She sold him out to his enemies for a bribe, I believe. His enemies were then able to overpower him and he ended up dying.
You can try an excuse note from that or I can think up another prompt for you.

[AngelWings1983]

@Normal_Is_Boring You’ve got it right. → Delilah | biblical figure | Britannica

[Normal_Is_Boring]

Sunday school paid off.