I started writing this story in 2016. I stopped after I had my daughter in 2017. But I’ve jumped back on the bandwagon and I’ve opted to finish this story. I’ve finished the next Episode but have to wait for a background. So in the mean time I’ve opted to come back on here and ask for some guidance, I’d like a take on the first like 4 Episodes as I’m not sure if they’re a bit slow in dialogue, my writing style has changed a lot in 2 years so I’m not sure if these episodes need a lot of help or not. As come Episode 5 things tend to ramp up. It’s essentially a story of a Princess, who initially is supposed to choose a man for to court her and marry her, but the kingdom gets taken over and it becomes a quest like story where decisions you make help you gain or lose allies who help you along the way, there is a lot of drama and a bit of romance. But in short, I’d love if some people can take a look and give me some feedback so I can essentially revamp the previous episodes so they’re more enticing to readers.
I read up to episode 3 right now.
I saw that some times you left characters frozen after a speaking animation like talk-gossip, maybe shiftweight or idle.
One thing that I found strange as I like historical romances a lot is that her night wear was so short and the day wear is conservative I don’t know maybe if you used Victorian Nightgowns it would make more sense
I found it cool that you end the episodes on parts that leaves us curious about next one.
On the third the Prince Donte is facing the wall before Aria talks with him but after he is facing her it was that what you wanted?
There isn’t much more than I can add because I’m not that good with the enticing parts…
Hello @Reenababee, I’m Sydney the moderator. Welcome to the forum. I’ve moved this thread to Share Feedback since you’re asking for feedback on your story. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions.
Yes, Donte is supposed to be facing the wall. But honestly, I’ll probably face him forward. He was supposed to be “Looking out a window” but there isn’t a window Haha.
Her nightwear is for her own eyes if that makes sense but I totally get what you’re saying, there wasn’t alot of PJ options when I started this story but now I see a bunch. So I’ll definitely change that! Thank you for pointing it out and when I go revamp the story, I’ll look into the animations. I started this story in 2016, so the quality has progressed as I learned more, than I stopped for two years and finally got back at it. So I definitely welcome your input!
Also there was something I found strange that, was the choice for the gown for the coronation. It says Gold and Red but the dress I saw was Deep blue and White. Did you want the Gold and Red version of that dress or did you change the dress after wording the choice?
Yeah. That’s entirely my fault Haha. I had written and finally updated to include episode 20 and had fiddled around with some outfits from previous episodes since there are alot of new ones, but I didn’t go through and change anything in the story yet lol.
I’ve moved this thread to Share Feedback since you’re asking for feedback on your story. Make sure to check out our 
usually I wouldn’t realise and at first I thought I had selected the second option with my fat finger then I realised I didn’t