Unicorn's reviews (closed to catch up)

Here’s your review, @Sebule hope I was helpful x

Summary
  • Personally I wouldn’t click on the cover but the description sounds interesting.
  • The directing in the first scene is great!
  • “Don’t say hop before you jump” You might want to say “Don’t leap before you look.”
  • You might want to improve on your grammar, it doesn’t make that much sense. There are lot’s of proof reader’s who can read your story.
  • The story plot is really intriguing.
  • I really like Raven and Helena they are bad ass bitches.
  • When Raven talks to the audience I suggest you don’t make it INT. BLACK - DAY but maybe a scene when she is explaining all the rules to someone.
  • The overlays of Ravens cuts and bruises are also underneath Helena, you might want to change the layer.
  • I really like the story so far.
  • Is Myroslav a child?
  • Aww, :cry: he’s so sad.
    *It’s really hard to read the flashing text.
  • I can tell that your choices matter.
  • Cliffhangers are a great way to make people want to read on.
  • Overall, you just need a bit of improvement on your directing and maybe you might like a proof reader. Also I wouldn’t personally tap on the story because of the cover. Apart from that the plot is amazing and I really like the characters personality.
  • This story is a 7.5/10