To me there’s always going to be a BIG difference between “bad boys” and “boys that pretend to be bad boys but are actually highkey abusive AF”.
When I think bad boys, I think leather jackets, tattoos, motorcycles, sarcastic, cold personalities and all that. I think bad boys are bad because they rebel against The Man and sometimes that means going out of your way to be kind towards people society would have you believe do not deserve that kindness. I think they are cold and aloof on the outside but melt around their significant other. I have no clue when it started being the norm that bad boy love interests are supposed to humiliate and belittle you, call you patronizing nicknames even if you tell them you don’t like that, make fun of you and corner you and touch you against your will, go out of their way to sleep with every girl that “tHroWS herSELF aT tHeM” but somehow make it sound like she’s the one at fault because she’s a wh*re.
I think people refuse to call their bad boy LIs abusive because most of the time the abuse is emotional and psychological and not physical which they would have an easier time recognizing. No-one’s calling them out for making their bad boys riding motorcycles or sporting all-black ensembles. It becomes problematic when you have them abuse the MC and make it sound like that that’s because he’s meant to be a “bad boy”.