Want a first episode criticism? [CLOSED]

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#1

Yo, they say first impression is the last impression, so I am doing reviews for the first episode of your story!
Keep in mind that I’m not the kind of person to sugarcoat things so imma give you some true honest (maybe bitter?) criticism.
But hey praise makes us good, criticism makes us better, so yeah, drop your story title and description and imma review it’s first episode :heart::sweat_smile:


#2

Hi! I wouldn’t mine!
Title: Fantastical- The Mermaid
Author:Rahdia
Episodes 3
Genre: fantasy
Plot: Kyle is a chef seeking new and exotic ways to improve his cooking.
One day on his search his boat crashes and he falls into the forbidddn waters of Gaya;
Where he meets the guardian of the sea.



#3

Title: Love Has No Color
Description of my story: Naturelle is finally able to attend public school for her junior year. She ends up meeting a charming boy that has dark family secrets What happens when those secrets get revealed?
Style: Limelight
Genre: Drama
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5700092797779968


#4

Here is my story
Title: Break Down My Walls
Genre: Action
Style: Ink
Description:You have your walls up. And no one ever comes in. But when you join a rebel gang, you feel attracted to the handsome leader. Can he melt your heart? Love, danger, lust awaits…
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4509103137619968 1
Thank you!


#5

btw: thanks for this thread :heart:


#6

ahaha no problem i love reading all of your stories :sweat_smile::heart::heart:


#7

ok so i read the first episode of your story.

The use of overlays and sounds makes it really fun to read, so good job with that.
The plot looks strong and makes sense so that’s another good point.

However i did feel that at some parts the “talk” animation were missing so they weren’t actually moving their mouths.

Also the mermaid scene, i’m gonna be honest, it looked kind of rushed and unfinished, you know it was all over the place, i think that part can be much better with a little work
that’s just my opinion tho…

and the rainbow scales in the cover, their saturation kind of hurts the eyes…

and lastly , this is not related to your story , but i had never actually seen the “swimming” animation in episode, and damn that seriously looks funny, the episode team should work on that lol

I liked the story and though they were some flaws the first episode does make me want to read more and find out what happens, and that is good.

anyway good job :heart::heart:
oh and this is just my opinion as a viewer, i dont mean to offend you or your story in any way, if i did, I’m really sorry lol


#8

this is my review and i can write whatever i want in it :joy::joy::heart:

ok so your story cough is actually extremely good
and by extremely i mean HOLY FAC WTH THAT IS SO AWESOME

i know i’m supposed to critique it but boi there’s nothing that actually wrong or could be better in it.

the way you’ve directed it, its really advanced and shows that you’ve done really hard work for it.

I really loved the reader messages that popup every once in a while.

The choices, they were really good and had an impact, so it made me wanna read more.

The characters are absolutely adorable and just the zooming the directing the overlays everything is on point.

GOOD JOB WITH THE STORY U GONNA GO PLACES GIRL

THIS STORY IS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST DIRECTED COMMUNITY STORY I’VE READ SO FAR :heart::heart:

p.s. also you gained a new follower :joy::joy:


#9

aww, thanks sooo much! :heartbeat::heartbeat::sob: glad you enjoyed my story <3


#10

@aeestha Thanks so much for your insight!
I will take your advice into account and don’t worry my feelings aren’t hurt.


#11

Hey, @aeestha! Thank you for creating this thread! I’d love some criticism on my first episode. Here are my story details:

Title: Silhouettes
Author: aprilish
Genre: Fantasy/Romance
Style: Ink
Blurb: Arion’s ready to risk it all to make her dreams come true. Leslie sees him every day, yet fails to recognize who he is. Watch them fall in love…without ever meeting each other.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6116658762874880
Cover:


My Instagram: @aprilish.episode

Thank you so much, and have a great day! :blush::two_hearts:


#12

the first ten lines and im hooked
the music choice amazing, the style of writing, spot on

Wow the story idea is pretty unique too and the directing is really good.
the way you’ve narrated it makes it even more thrilling and interesting
the child sofia scene does look kinda weird but hats off for your hard work.
Episode team seriously needs to make children for our stories.

Yeah, i really liked your story and there’s not much to critique, i simply enjoyed it … yes your first episode left a good impression.
good job loved it :heart::heart:


#13

yay you’re welcome :relaxed::relaxed:


#14

OMG whats up with all these creative stories in here.

Anyway @aprilish your story was one of a kind too.
I really liked the music choices you made for the first episode.

The zooming and the directing were really awesome too.
Your story was really good.

However I did feel that the choices were a little less impactful and they could’ve been a little stronger.
And maybe because of that I felt that the episode lacked that suspenseful and intriguing vibe that makes you wanna click more .

I do hope you’ll work on it in future episodes.

But I really like the theme of the story and want to see what happens next, yay it has been added to my favourites :relaxed::heart:

oh and this is just my personal opinion, and i dont mean to offend you or anything in any way lol


#15

Hey, I would really appreciate ot of you can review my story. THANK YOU.
Upside Down by MCMPLL


#16

Hello @aeestha ! I would like a review of my story! Thanks :heart:

Story title : Sandy and her Quadruplets
Author : R.J.
Genre : Comedy
Description : How can she survive with noisy and disobedient quadruplets? Will she finally find the father of her sons ? Here’s the crazy life of Sandy and her quadruplets!
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5337323130716160


#17

Hey there - feedback and critique has really helped me improve my story so far so I’d love to receive some feedback from you :smiley:
Story name: Crossed Paths
Description: A cold-hearted, handsome billionaire with emotional baggage and your hot, outgoing dashing knight in armour both fight for your affections. Who will win your heart?


#18

Hi, @aeestha!

Thank you very much for creating this thread, this is very kind of you! Constructive criticism is exactly what I am looking for!

If you are interested in reading a story with several mini-games and where CHOICES REALLY MATTER then, please, give my story a try. I promise, the story will keep you hooked :blush: Episode advocates recommended! (which has made me insanely happy. Go check their account for awesome recommendations if you haven’t yet!)

My story details:

Name of story: H & V: Fate
Author: Alex Af
Genre: Thriller
Episodes: 4 (completed)
Summary of story: Young ambitious journalist hunting down a powerful tycoon who has made a fortune based on lies. But who really is a villain here? Choices matter.
Link to story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6548486212681728
Instagram: @episode.alex.af


#19

thank you! and yeah lol the children in episode are weird lmao


#20

Oh this is this is really nice of you! Here’s my story, you can be harsh in the review if you like:

Title: Over Before You Know It
Author: Lizard
Genre: Drama
Description: You and your best friend make a suicide pact to go to the Grand Canyon and end it all together. Will you both really do it? Or will it be over before you know it?
Number of Episodes: 8
My instagram: @lizard.episode