Want a first episode criticism? [CLOSED]

well, thats a pretty unique story you have there.

Firstly, I know you are already aware of it but suicide is a really sensitive issue, so I hope you’ll handle the story in an extra careful way :sweat_smile:

Lets start off with the things i liked.
I liked that there’s customization, a lot of readers enjoy it.
The use of zooms and overlays makes it interesting to read.
The directing is really nice.
Another thing that i really really liked is the simple splashes, they were really nice and subtle.

However, I did feel that there were some things that could’ve been better.

Its only my opinion,but i felt that the story is paced really quickly, i mean the plot.
So many things happened in the first episode itself.
The best friend telling the MC about her feelings, telling her to die with her, and going on the road trip…
I felt like it would’ve been better if you’d let the plot develop itself at kind of a slow pace, like we don’t even know why the bff feels that way and its so bad that it makes her wanna die, with the MC.

But its the story’s plot so its not bad to let that happen in the first episode itself.

I also felt like the characters are wayyyy too chilled about it.
I also felt like the music choices weren’t exactly the best.
I mean they’re talking about dying and there’s kind of this playful entertaining music in the background?
Its what i felt tho

But anyway, your story was good and i enjoyed it.
Yeah, great job!

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Thank you so, SO much, Aeestha! This means the world to me! So glad you liked my story! :blue_heart::blue_heart: I’ll definitely keep in mind what you said about the choices, and try to improve my story accordingly.

Thank you once again, and have a wonderful day! :kissing_heart::revolving_hearts:

Oh thank you, I’m very glad you thought the topic was handled properly. Yeah sorry it’s paced a little poorly, it was already getting insanely long near the end and I like stories that get to the point. The reason why the bff wants to die is actually spoilers and gets revealed in episode three, so I feel like it’s expected to be confused about that when you’ve only read one episode haha.
Also I had no idea the characters were way too chill, I used to hang around a lot of negative people who were extremely depressed, so I’m probably just extremely desensitized! Thanks a lot for telling me this, I would’ve never known. I’ll keep the music choices in mind, I didn’t want to use sadpianoprogression like most other episode stories I read but, uh, there’s probably a reason why it’s used commonly lmfao.

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eyy i really liked the simple plot of your story.
Its chilled and simple and i really like such ideas.
Your story was well directed and well paced :+1::+1:

There’s not much to critique tbh

I think the story would be more enjoyable if there was some music/ sound in the background.
Also, its just my opinion, i felt like the mom looked a little bit too young
There are some “mature” features in episode (p.s. is that what we should call them?)
So I personally felt like the mother could’ve been made a little bit mature.

but i liked your story very much, good job

P.S.S. i really feel sorry for the mom lmao :joy::sweat_smile:

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yeah, keep doing what you’re doing and keep on improving!! :heart::heart::grinning:

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Hey! Thank you for reading it! I really appreciate your review! :blush:
For the mom, I try to change the eyes (more mature) but I didn’t really like it lol :sweat_smile: . That’s why she said « I look like a 20 year old girl » haha! Maybe I can change her size but I understand what you mean :)! Thanks again!

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Hey, there! I’d love to get some honest feedback from you!!

Title: Fantastical: Regnum Fortes
Genre: Fantasy
Episodes: 3 (on-going)
Style: Limelight
Description: You’re a set of twins which were suddenly zapped into a realm you never knew existed. What now?
What to expect:

  • This story uses a point system! (Choices actually matter.)
  • This story has a wide variety of Love Interests! Even options for the LGBT community!
  • Some pretty rad effects! (50+ overlays and backgrounds were used!)
  • Fighting scenes!
  • Plot twists you never saw coming!
  • Diverse characters!
  • Great directing!
  • Text effects!
  • + Many more features!
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Hi!! @aeestha
I would really appreciate it if you could review my story…
This story has custom background but are visible mostly after the 2nd episode and there is a art scene in the story…

Here are the story details-

Title- Fantastical: Virtues of Destiny
Genre- Fantasy
Episodes- 3[ONGOING]
Style- INK
Description- "Evil is rising, truth is surpassing, but what will happen when they find out who they really are? Is this going to lead to love, hate, revenge or magical encounter.
Choices Matter
Link to the story- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6566802985713664
Cover-
Heartbeat_z5_posterThumb_vl8hZdYGBv

Hopefully you’ll enjoy my story!

Hey, I don’t need a review anymore but thanks :heart:

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Hello,

This is my first episode.
I’d love some honest feedback!

@reebjones
@Iconic.chelsea
@S.Dsana
@TheBigMystery
@dasha_author
@gisellec
@_hxxd
@Alex_Af
@MCMPL
sorry the reviews are taking so long.
lmao i am not dead, i had some personal problems but now i am back and i shall try to review your stories Asap
Thank you for your patience, pls dont hate me lool

4 Likes

i am so sorry, so sorry, i had some personal problems and couldn’t review any stories, i am so sorry

take your time! :heartbeat:

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Take your time! It’s totally alright :blush:

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Hey, no need to apologise and I changed my mind bc my story is discontinued :slight_smile:

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No problem at all, please take your time as I am working on my story very slowly. <3 I hope you are ok!

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No problem, please take your time.:wink:

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Hello! That’s no worries at all, take your time. I am more concentrated on my second story now as I find it much better. So if you are interested in a pirate fantasy just for a read (no review needed) you can dm me for story details.

Cheers!
:blue_heart::blue_heart::blue_heart:

1 Like

YAY dasha, i read your story and yes, your work impressed me!

First of all, the intro, it was really nice, i liked it and think it draws the reader’s attention and makes us wanna read more.

The dialogues were really good, and the characters were lovable too.

I didn’t find anything to critique tbh lol.
I really like the simplicity and the way your story is paced, its just the perfect balance.

But i did feel that the choices in the story could’ve been a little bit more impactful and you know, heavy?
idk lol, but the choices could’ve been better, in my opinion, but your story is good!

Its sort of funny in a unique way and i enjoyed reading the first episode.

P.S. david tho :joy::clap: