Want a first episode criticism? [CLOSED]

eyy i really liked the simple plot of your story.
Its chilled and simple and i really like such ideas.
Your story was well directed and well paced :+1::+1:

There’s not much to critique tbh

I think the story would be more enjoyable if there was some music/ sound in the background.
Also, its just my opinion, i felt like the mom looked a little bit too young
There are some “mature” features in episode (p.s. is that what we should call them?)
So I personally felt like the mother could’ve been made a little bit mature.

but i liked your story very much, good job

P.S.S. i really feel sorry for the mom lmao :joy::sweat_smile:

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yeah, keep doing what you’re doing and keep on improving!! :heart::heart::grinning:

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Hey! Thank you for reading it! I really appreciate your review! :blush:
For the mom, I try to change the eyes (more mature) but I didn’t really like it lol :sweat_smile: . That’s why she said « I look like a 20 year old girl » haha! Maybe I can change her size but I understand what you mean :)! Thanks again!

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Hey, there! I’d love to get some honest feedback from you!!

Title: Fantastical: Regnum Fortes
Genre: Fantasy
Episodes: 3 (on-going)
Style: Limelight
Description: You’re a set of twins which were suddenly zapped into a realm you never knew existed. What now?
What to expect:

  • This story uses a point system! (Choices actually matter.)
  • This story has a wide variety of Love Interests! Even options for the LGBT community!
  • Some pretty rad effects! (50+ overlays and backgrounds were used!)
  • Fighting scenes!
  • Plot twists you never saw coming!
  • Diverse characters!
  • Great directing!
  • Text effects!
  • + Many more features!
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Hi!! @aeestha
I would really appreciate it if you could review my story…
This story has custom background but are visible mostly after the 2nd episode and there is a art scene in the story…

Here are the story details-

Title- Fantastical: Virtues of Destiny
Genre- Fantasy
Episodes- 3[ONGOING]
Style- INK
Description- "Evil is rising, truth is surpassing, but what will happen when they find out who they really are? Is this going to lead to love, hate, revenge or magical encounter.
Choices Matter
Link to the story- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6566802985713664
Cover-
Heartbeat_z5_posterThumb_vl8hZdYGBv

Hopefully you’ll enjoy my story!

Hey, I don’t need a review anymore but thanks :heart:

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Hello,

This is my first episode.
I’d love some honest feedback!

@reebjones
@Iconic.chelsea
@S.Dsana
@TheBigMystery
@dasha_author
@gisellec
@_hxxd
@Alex_Af
@MCMPL
sorry the reviews are taking so long.
lmao i am not dead, i had some personal problems but now i am back and i shall try to review your stories Asap
Thank you for your patience, pls dont hate me lool

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i am so sorry, so sorry, i had some personal problems and couldn’t review any stories, i am so sorry

take your time! :heartbeat:

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Take your time! It’s totally alright :blush:

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Hey, no need to apologise and I changed my mind bc my story is discontinued :slight_smile:

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No problem at all, please take your time as I am working on my story very slowly. <3 I hope you are ok!

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No problem, please take your time.:wink:

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Hello! That’s no worries at all, take your time. I am more concentrated on my second story now as I find it much better. So if you are interested in a pirate fantasy just for a read (no review needed) you can dm me for story details.

Cheers!
:blue_heart::blue_heart::blue_heart:

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YAY dasha, i read your story and yes, your work impressed me!

First of all, the intro, it was really nice, i liked it and think it draws the reader’s attention and makes us wanna read more.

The dialogues were really good, and the characters were lovable too.

I didn’t find anything to critique tbh lol.
I really like the simplicity and the way your story is paced, its just the perfect balance.

But i did feel that the choices in the story could’ve been a little bit more impactful and you know, heavy?
idk lol, but the choices could’ve been better, in my opinion, but your story is good!

Its sort of funny in a unique way and i enjoyed reading the first episode.

P.S. david tho :joy::clap:

Yo, i read your story’s first episode.
Good job you did there.

I liked that there is use of different backgrounds and music.
The directing was good too.

but yeah, i did feel that there were some things that can be improved.

I personally think using “Lia” instead of “YOU” above the speechbubble would be nice, i mean if her name is lia, keeping Lia above the speechbubble would make more sense, no?

Well, the spellings were wrong at some places,
But i assume english is not your first language, so you dont need to think about it too much, you’ll be better as you keep on writing :heart:

Another thing, is that the characters just pop up in the backgrounds, and for me it doesn’t look that visually attracting.
Placing characters in their places before the scene or having them walk into the scene would look more good, in my opinion.

Oh, and i’m glad that you have music in your story, but the music choice when lia went off crying didnot sound right, pay attention to your music choices, as it doesn’t feel right to be seeing a sad scene but hearing an upbeat music in the background.
Thats only what i felt tho.

I really liked your story idea, keep on working hard, keep on growing, best of luck :heart::heart::grinning:

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Thank you very much :slight_smile:

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no problem, i understand that you have a personal life too and i would not want to interfere with it