So, I’m bored with the stories on episode and would like to review some other people’s stories. I can give you feedback on this or if you would like I can just PM you my review. I’m not a professional writer, but as a reader I can tell you whether or not , me, personally, would want to keep reading your story.
Okay, what is your story name, if it is published then what does the cover look like?
If it isn’t published then send me the link to your story
Ok give me a few minutes
Can I request a review on one of my stories?
Title: Publicity Problems
Author: Karlon Artis
Description: Samantha Xanders struggles with her fame after receiving unwanted publicity. Can she overcome the challenges of stardom?
Oh, fun! It’s been ages since I’ve submitted to any of these.
The title of my story is Over Before You Know It, and the author name is Lizard. Here’s the story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6584190301765632
The content itself is kind of heavy, but it’s not overbearingly, you know, preachy. If it’s too much for you just tell me.
I understand the whole “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” and I do take chances on stories even if they don’t have covers, but you should try to get a cover on your story asap. If you don’t know how to make a good cover, I’m sure there are plenty of people who would help you will that.
In my opinion, the beginning was kind of annoying, show, don’t tell. Giving introductions of every character isn’t needed. It’s always nice to gradually get to know the characters.
I understand that your story in the beginning it had mature themes and strong language, but it just feels like your story consists of a lot of sex related topics, not saying you can’t add some in there, but maybe you could dial it down a bit?
I mean, I guess the plot is okay, but you could make it better. In my opinion you should add a twist to it instead of it just being like a cliche story about how a teacher falls in love with the principal.
I kind of like your use of panning to different zones, but maybe you could try a couple transitions?
I like how this story uses comedy to entertain an audience. I mean, I think this is a pretty funny story.
Overall, I think this story is okay, but it could be a lot better, but that’s just my opinion. I think the plot is kind of cliche, but you could easily write a cliche plot, but have your own twist. You’re grammar is pretty good, I think their was only one or two grammar mistakes.
Uhm… I think you could use less narration, like a little description is okay, but overusing narration can become quite boring to your readers.
I’m glad you have a cover, but maybe you could try and add the characters into the covers if you want to make it more eye catching. I think your description is pretty good, it gives a clear statement about what this story is about.
Okay, so I like the cover art in the beginning, it does kind of give your story a creative touch.
When Samantha is on stage and you show the crowd, maybe have the crowd doing come animations instead of just being idle. It can really help your story look more put together.
Try and make meaningful choices, like make the readers think they made a meaningful choice. You don’t have to do advanced choices, but try and make choices that the reader thinks actually matter. In my opinion, choosing between annoying and hurtful is kind of well… annoying… don’t feel forced to HAVE to put choices in your story, it’s your decision, but if you are going to add choices at least let the reader think that are making a meaningful choice
What I like
I do like that you have the readers interacting with the story a little bit. Like choosing what lyric comes next, I think it lets us readers participate a little bit in your story.
You have a good use of transitioning and that’s one thing I like most about this story.
You have good grammar, I think I found one grammar mistake.
Overall, I think your story is pretty good, maybe you could add a little more to your plot, instead of it just kind of being the star running away from paparazzi. Add your own little twist to your story. I think you are heading in the right track; though, all I really think you should do is maybe spice up the plot a bit more, because tbh the first episode is a little boring, but can easily be fixed with some type of action or suspense in the story.
Thank you for the review.
By the way, what is a come animation?
Can you review my story?
Well done on the cover, I think it can easily catch a readers attention. I mean, the description is good, it does add a suspense to the story that might make the readers want to read the story
I like the warning in the beginning, idk I’m just glad you warn people before they start reading your story, and that you state that your story doesn’t condone suicide in any positive light at all. I like that you do have CC and can have your own name. I don’t really care if their is CC or not, but I do know a lot of other readers like CC
OOO I like the scene where the words bounce into the scene, I think it gives your story a nice touch.
Like I said to the last person I reviewed, try making meaningful choices that the readers think matter.
I think you have good use of transitions and zooms.
the commercial made me laugh so hard I started rolling on the floor
Good grammar, I haven’t found any mistakes
I do kind of think it’s a good plot with good directing. Maybe you should add more meaningful choices. I do hope ; though, that you use this story as a type of suicide prevention story. This story has a lot of potential and I actually can’t wait to see what it might turn out to be!
My bad, it was a typo, I meant some animations
Sure! what is it called?
Thank you ^^
It’s called Enchanted Hearts
The first episode is pretty short its just creating your character and introducing the some characters
Tittle: The Pregnancy Curse
Hey! Can you check out mine, it was just published so it may have some errors and rough spots.
It’s called Fiction.
It has a glowing butterfly on the cover page.
Name of story: The Love Triangle
Name of author: OyeeAbi
Description: Caught in a love triangle, who will your heart? Your heart-breaker or your childhood friend?