First Impressions
I like your cover, it can really draw people in. The description is good, as it kind of adds suspense and makes readers want to read more. I like that their is a male MC as that is very rare in episode stories, so it makes your story more unique
Episode 1
I like the beginning, it’s very cool and unique and pulls me, the reader, in.
I really like the overlays you put in it, makes it very unique.
I like how there is a comedic side to it, people always love a good laugh!
DAD JOKES!
MOM JOKES!
The transitioning, panning and zooms are nice, I’m glad you used them a lot in your story.
I like the fact that you make choices matter, as a reader, it’s cool to know that you are making a meaningful choice that could affect the story.
R.I.P Lil Sanjay’s donut
Now, this is just me, but I like how you took like a cliche type of story and made it 10x better. You didn’t make it like all the rest, where like the “bad boy” sees the girl and thinks she’s the hottest godamn girl he’s ever seen. Idk I like how you’re taking a different approach with the whole “bad boy” cliche.
I LOVE THAT CARMELA JUST GOES AROUND AND ROASTS EVERYBODY
Overall
Honestly, I don’t think I could find anything bad about it, I think you took an overly used cliche and made it different. As a reader, I want to keep reading, for the comedy, and the suspense about Carmela not being able to read that green haired dude… I forgot his name. The zooms were great and I liked the transitions. I’m actually surprised that this doesn’t have more reads!