Weird story about my episode obsession

So this is gonna be a long one.

So I’ve been on episode since i was 12 years old. (I’m 17 now) Even tho the app was 13+ back then, I still downloaded it and me and my cousin sis(who was 6 that time :clown_face: ) played the demi lovato and mean girls stories and became obsessed.

Then when i was 14 i got on instagram and saw the episode author community, and followed all my favourite authors and artists (mette peleikis, s langdon, coni b, ck artdesign, you name it) and also started watching joseph evans tutorials.

That was when i decided i need to write my own story. However, i had school and final exams and a billion projects to complete, but still I was determined to make a fantasy story with ABOVE AVERAGE directing with overlays and stuff :sob: . And it took me 5 FREAKING MONTHS to complete coding just 1 chapter, amidst several errors that were solved by mostly dara amarie personally on instagram (she’s the sweetest soul istg) and rest by others or myself watching vids and tutorials. And my english skills weren’t that great especially in a fantasy story.

I had an amazing time travel story planned in my head with great twists and characters, but I just couldn’t code it in a script or even write it in words. I gave up after writing the 2nd episode which was literally all dialogues and only had three scenes. (That too took me 3 months) and published the story with the title “Erysthius: The Time Lapse” and did read for reads etc, saw that it got like 109 reads, and then later i decided to quit.

Then next year when i was 16 i suddenly had the urge to edit the story and continue it in a better and perfect way. So i edited the 1st chapter with better script and pacing, but i again had a lot of school work to do so I gave up.

I used to be a very regular reader on episode but now i avoid it because i have a very bad habit of getting obsessed (i have ADHD, hyperfixations are common) and having the urge to write my own story as i know all the directing commands etc, but i just can’t manage the storytelling along with the directing. So that really upsets me and I end up wasting months just to end up with nothing and i fall back on my assignments and school work.

And recently that urge is coming back as I came up with a new story in my head which is very short and on the realistic side so nothing crazy at all… And i have my FINAL exams in less than a month. That exam will decide if I’ll get admitted to a good college or not and i also need to pass my high school with over 90% or everyone’s gonna be so disappointed in me and in my future I’ll be living in the streets cuz i failed everything??? Aaah lol sry to get carried away by my fears :sob:

Also my main passion is actually singing and songwriting so i also want to give time for that, as I love that so much, but my fear is that it’s gonna go nowhere even tho i am somewhat good at it. I also have a tendency to procrastinate even on things that I really like and enjoy which sucks.

Writing on episode is sorta an annual obsession for me now that lasts probably 3-4 months and I end up wasting all my time all day. If someone has any suggestions to help me please comment down below. :pleading_face:

Playing on episode is really entertaining but the episode people themselves keeps me in control as the passes run out and the author takes some time to continue the story, but wanting to write seems like an endless obsession!! There are so many directing guides, videos and websites at the tip of my finger and i can write and plan the story for a longgg time in my notes app which is i can access with the click of a button. :sob: :sob: Ughh i hate school so much.

Anyway this was kinda random i know nobody will read this all the way through but if you did thanks so much :pleading_face: you can share your experiences with episode down below as well i’d love to read them!! The episode community is really an amazing and kind community which I’m so glad to be a part of :pleading_face: :heart:

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Try entering an episode contest it might help you focus on it but definitely wait until exams are over so you can study and be able to focus on it.

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You’re right aaah. And i do want to enter contests but I can never meet the deadline as it takes me forever to code as I’m still new… And getting backgrounds, overlays etc and directing everything is too time consuming for me and it takes me months as well. After my exams are over I’ll try completing my short story and hope that by the time i finish coding it an episode contest shows up that matches my story theme :pleading_face:

Thanks for helping btw​:heart::heart:

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Yay! I have a twin :grin:

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:sob: omg lol. It’s such a hassle sksksk

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I agree that balancing personal life, school, and writing is hard. Episode is a new kind of hard unlike other websites like Wattpad, because there’s so much coding too. :sob: Everyone has to learn that from scratch when they first start.

It seems that you really enjoy writing the actual dialogue, plot, and characters rather than all the coding. The next time you write a story on Episode, maybe just go with Spotlight, so that way you can focus on the parts of your story you enjoy without having to take such a long time on overlays, spot directing, and all that difficult coding. Or maybe you can find a coding partner. That might work.

I published one story over a year ago, and I wasn’t on Instagram or Episode Forums, so it got 42 reads. I’m finally planning on publishing stories over the summer, which is when I have the most time. Definitely planning ahead to see what times I have time to write have helped me keep a consistant schedule with consistant dates to look forward to.

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I felt this on a spiritual level. Although my problem is kinda the opposite, I really like coding and learning new things and advanced directing altho it’s extremely challenging sometimes, but the narration and storywriting on episode WHILE all that’s going on, is the hardest part for me :sob::sob:

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Oooh okay. I wish I shared your love for coding. Coding is just fun until it’s not. And the fun usually doesn’t last very long for me haha. I can force myself to write dialogue, but I can’t force myself to code.

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Oh no. I. HATE. DIALOGUE. This is why I take a lot longer than most people to write a story :cold_sweat:

I don’t mind the coding as much because at least I feel good about knowing how to code. But I don’t feel good about writing two lines of dialogue per hour and then erasing those lines because they sounded wrong :persevere:

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You’re right tho. I think the fun for coding fades away once you start getting the same errors again, and maybe can’t story tell the way you had envisioned. Also i think with practice we can be great directors! And I’m so excited to read your story once you release it. I think it’ll be great :heart:

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You can try getting a writing partner to lighten the load. Depending on whether or not you like to code or write more, a writing partner can help.

I mean, it’s super easy, you just have to put their name on the story as well as yours and it’s pretty simple to communicate.

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Yeah i guess… But how will I choose a writing partner that’s good enough and we work well together? :sob:

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Unless you find a partner who’s super unfriendly, then it’s pretty easy to get along with a writing partner.

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Well then maybe I’ll try one day. I feel like i gotta get used to writing on episode a bit more. Then i can manage working with others hopefully

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