Ooooof this is a good one. Same thing with CC. Or when the CC / makeup change is reflected in a mirror with a filter that makes it difficult to see what the customization or makeup will actually look like in the story.
My other one is this exchange:
“You look beautiful / amazing / gorgeous, etc.”
“Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.”
There’s nothing inherently wrong with it but it’s so overused and predictable. If there’s one thing I love, it’s when the dialogue subverts my expectations and keeps me interested.
Likewise, after an implied bed scene: “That was…” “…Yeah.” The implication is that it was amazing but again, way too predictable and also probably not accurate. Chill out lol
I laugh. I just imagine they awkwardly fumbled their way through the act eventually and they are a bit surprised afterwards like, “That wasn’t at all how the movies portrayed it! I feel lied to.”
But, I can find humour in the weirdest places so it might just be me.
I think if the dialogue actually reflected that sentiment though it would be much funnier and more believable. Like “Sorry I elbowed you in the face a couple times.” “Well, we’ve got a lot to learn eh?” Or something.
Especially in high school stories. I don’t read a lot of high school stories especially if they involve romance because I’m just…a lot older than HS students and sometimes I feel weird about it. But when there’s an implied sex scene and the characters are like “omg that was amazing” I’m like??? No it wasn’t. Please stop teaching 14 year olds that high school boys are sex gods. They aren’t.
1: random stuff that is obviously written without thinking about the audience
2: rape
3: sex
4: cliches
5: misrepresentation
6: everyone is gay
I’ll probably think of more. Eventually.
You’re right though. It’s very weird and uncomfortable to read, and now I’m sitting here trying to remember being 13-14, how impressionable I was and how ‘having sex’ seemed to saturate the air, like it was the cool thing to do and you weren’t if you hadn’t found at least one partner.
I’ll admit that I struggle to relate to younger people now because we think differently. But I agree that trying to convince them to sleep with each-other at that age is inappropriate. It’s a very small chance that they’ll be properly educated about it, as well.
But maybe things are better now, and I’m just being cynical.
“That was amazing!”
Was it? My first time sucked. General consensus seems to be that it’s not a good experience. That’s kind of how I know that you don’t really know what you’re talking about, and you’re learning about it from the wrong sources.
What even happened to it? Most of the backgrounds aren’t even there and in the beginning where it said “thanks for the wonderful intro” I legitimately saw nothing for a straight minute.
I think something most likely happened to it after updates? Because I checked the fan mail and nothing there even mentioned the mess that was that episode.
Oof. But it got on the shelf though? I mean, the grammar is pretty good, so why bother to proofread your dialogue and then have a character in the background ‘cha cha real smooth’ sliding on top of a person in the foreground? I feel like some update just nuked the directing and the author just dropped it like its hot and never decided to go back and try to fix it and/or address it.
There’s one story I read and I’m on, like, chapter 40 or smthn and every. single. time. they are about to kiss they get interrupted. They kissed two or three times and they ALL ended with a “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” from the LI. I was expecting the 3rd time for the MC to say something like “Dude, you can’t keep doing that. Either you keep it in your pants or we can’t hang out anymore.” but then I remembered that some authors just don’t think logically
I’m planning on a chapter of my story where the guy’s inexperienced and the girl isn’t, so she kinda guides him through it, but leading up to “it” is a super awkward interaction, and afterward from the guy is a “I honestly thought my first time would be a little different.” and she’d follow up with a “You can say it sucked. Everyone’s first time does, but we’ll get better.” or something to that degree (obviously the scene will be skipable/the characters don’t have to do it if you don’t want them to).
Idk, tell me if that sucks, but it’s more realistic than “That was…” “…Yeah.”
