What are your thoughts about couple age gaps?

Do you guys like age gap romances? Are power dynamics something to be romanticized, in your opinion? What do you consider an age gap? Five year difference? Ten? Twenty? When does it get uncomfortable for you?

Also, do you think one could justify an age gap with the fact that the younger counterpart is of legal age? Should age gap romances exist in Episode stories at all?

I did a ‘bully romance’ discussion a few weeks back and I’m interested about knowing your opinions on various tropes and etc. Feel free to rant as much below!

Edit: this has been flagged for some reason for it being inappropriate. I just want a healthy discussion about controversial tropes in literature and media. Nothing else. We’re discussing about age-gap romances and couples only. Please refrain from talking about NSFW or inappropriate matters down below, the thread might hidden again (or even deleted).


Really depends on what ages they are/ where they are on the timeline of life as well as how they treat one another. :person_shrugging:

Ex. A 30 yo dating a 50 yo is quite different to someone who is say 15 dating someone who is 20 or older. BUT with that being said, once the 30 yo reaches 50 and the 50 yo reaches 70 - they’re at different stages of their lives assuming that the 70 yo is going into a decline and can no longer do the same things he/she once did at 50 but the 50 yo is still relatively active and capable. That can’t be said for everyone though, really depends on the individuals. Some 70 yos could very well still be “capable.”

It does make me uncomfortable to think of someone who’s younger than the legal age of consent dating someone who is like 20+ since 20+ is an adult, who should have a more mature mind, would’ve finished high school a few years ago, perhaps studying in university or working or both, and anyone below the legal age of consent (15-) is technically still a child, school student and minor, not to mention a relationship between the two would be illegal in many places in the world.
Personally, I have no problems with someone the legal age of consent (16 here) dating someone who’s also 16, or 17, 18, even 19 - which might also probably be my limit because they’d be at relatively the same sort of phase in life (nearing high school completion /just starting university) and the years apart are not too vast as well as the fact that it is legal (here anyways) and they’re both still teens.
Of course again, it still really depends on the individuals themselves, how mature each party is, what their intentions are with one another, whether they’re both consenting and respectful and how the older one uses their “power” if they have any.

I hate the thought though of someone young dating someone who is much older or “old” like a 18 year old dating someone who is like, 30, 35+ or 75. Ick.
I’ve seen a lot of older men dating very young women (teens, 20s), particularly in my mother’s home country and it sickened me but it’s quite common there and a lot of them probably perceive it as either the norm or a necessity to survive.

I myself am 23 and I don’t think I would feel comfortable dating anyone older than 28-ish and I definitely would never date someone younger than 18, tbh even 18 is still a bit murky. I view anyone who is still in high school as a kid so I would never consider dating someone who is still in school and nor should I.

Age gaps in my stories

I have an upcoming story actually where the female lead is 16 turning 17 later in the year and the male lead is freshly 19 but they’re both in the same grade since she came over to the US from England, making her a year younger than her classmates and he’s repeating his senior year because he missed it, also making him a year older than his classmates. Despite the gap, they’re still in the same grade and classes. I view it as okay, but someone else might not.

Another upcoming story of mine has a female MC who is 19, one male LI who is 22 and another male LI who is 26 (although I’m considering making him 27) I decided to give readers the option to date someone closer to their MC’s age, someone a little older or no one.
The MC has finished high school but she still hasn’t decided what to do with her life, the 22 yo is/was in university and was largely dependent on his father’s wealth and the 26-27 yo has a 9 yo daughter, a full-time job, a home, but he lost his wife and his son 7 years ago. The guys have vastly different personality and views, so I wanted readers to think about that too and not just their ages.
However, the story is set in a zombie apocalypse and I think when the world is in such chaos and you’re closest to other survivors of other age groups and your own I guess, I think the views on age gaps becomes less pronounced when adrenaline is high and you’ve been through stuff together that people never thought they would like running for their lives, surviving, near-death, grieving, constant danger, always needing to look out for each other etc.


an age gap is in itself is not wrong. but often its bad taste. like if he is 30 what and dating an 18 year old that’s creepy. its seems predatory. with that kind of age gap. why isn’t the person dating someone their age. is a legit love to that other person or is it people their own age wont pull up with their BS attitude. with age gap people are different places in life. my sister and I has ten years between us. and we are very different regarding the world. ideas experience opinions.

At 18 19 20. I might have pulled up with a sexist jerk. now at 26, he be gone the minute he shows he is a jerk.

I have dated one who is six years older than me. so age gap is not my problem its how its portrayed. how its often predatory men.


I know there was a discussion about Rulebreaker story. I actually didn’t see a problem in it at all. By the time they ended together she was an adult. I think more than a 20 year old age gap is where it gets uncomfortable. Let’s be real there also so many examples in real life where there is a huge age gap between the two people. People find it cute but for some reason they don’t like it when the women is the older one. I don’t know why.


That is so true unfortunately.

no, i don’t like them when one part is very young. like 13 and 17?? nah, ew. however, if one is 30, maybe 35+, then dating someone older is something quite different. i think it also has a lot to do with maturity gaps, ex. a 15 and 17 year old, though only being 2 years apart, they can have a big maturity difference.

generally, i don’t really care unless it’s two minors with a huge age gap, or someone who is 18/19 with like, a 15 year old, since they’re on widely different levels in how mature they are. i obviously care about grown adults being with kids but that’s just gross and p*dophilia.

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I’m actually fine with age gap stories. I’m an avid reader and that’s one of my favourite tropes in the books I read. But, to be perfectly clear, I want the MC who is the younger one in the relationship to be older than 20-21 years old and the age gap to be max 20 years, because that’s just my preference. Also, it’s a matter of how the author will portray the relationship and the dynamic between the characters. As long as the characters are two consenting adults who respect each other and the “dominant” in the relationship - because the older character most of the time is depicted as the most “ruling” of the two (I hope you get my point, I don’t know how else to phrase it) - doesn’t abuse the influence they have on their partner, I don’t see the problem.

Side note : Gender doesn’t matter.
Side note 2 : There are hundreds of stories that involve the mob and criminals in general, so to me sometimes it kind of seems like a double standard.


In my opinion I think there should be only 9 years gaps MAXIMUM!!

If Girl is elder and Boy is younger hat doesn’t matter at all. But some people here may thinks that Boy always should be the elder…in a relation or in love.

But Lot’s of people find some new and unique something to read.

I will say 1-9 year gap is Okay! :blush:

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Yes, it depends which kind of age gap. Like @schittwriter says it right, a 30 yo dating a 50 yo is different than a 15 yo dating a 20 yo (or older).

You have to remember there are 13 yo on this app. I try to avoid taboos like that in my stories and for me the thought of a high school teen having a relationship with a 30 yo is gross.
I am writing a fantasy-story at the moment about the MC (51 yo) having a relationship with the LI (35 yo). That’s a nice age gap and relationship in my opinion. Both are adults and have a history independent and together.
Age gap is fine for me as reader, as long as it’s not a minor with an adult.


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Everyone has their own opinion and I really respect that. I think huge age gap romances aren’t wrong if these stories show healthy relationships among the couples. “Bully romance” and imbalanced power dynamics just aren’t appropriate be it between couples of the same age, small or huge age gap. There are many couples with huge age gaps out there so I don’t see any problem in writing an episode story like this. But again, everyone has their own opinion so some readers may like it, some don’t mind, and some may not like it.

I remember back when I was in school, my friends said that it’s impossible for our classmates (13 y/o) to date our 15 y/o senior because 2 years age gap is just too huge. But once we graduated from school, many of them dated or married people who are much younger or older than them. When I met my ex, I thought he was 2 years older than me. Turns out he is 18 years older than me. There’s no bully or power imbalance between us. Our relationship was healthy because we respect each other. I broke up with him because I want to focus on my studies atm.

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If they’re both older then fine. I’m not gonna judge if the woman is 40 and the man is 50 or something.

But if she’s 18 and he’s 25 or something that’s gross.
Or if they have a student teacher relationship in any capacity! Even if the student was a former student and it’s years later-no! I hate stories that romanticize this!

So long as both parties involved are [or are above] the legal age of consent, then anywhere between 5 and 10 years difference is fine.

[Maybe even a 15 year gap.] But in stories, if I was personally writing one with a an age gap… I’d do an age gap of 10 years maximum, but that’s just me.

I remember when my cousin [female] was 15 and she dated a 42 year old guy, I was absolutely disgusted! That was so wrong and I tried to tell her that he was basically a paedophile… but she wouldn’t listen, she was in her rebellious stage at that point… and anyone who didn’t agree with her was against her, or so she claimed.
Even though age of consent is lower in England, than in the USA [it’s 16, here.] she was only 15… so not only were they breaking the law, but that made him a paedo! It’s the facts.


My parents both actually have an age gap between them two. My mom and dad met when my mom was 30 and mg dad was 48. My parents didnt really let that interfere with their relationship and it didnt affect me growing up.
I support age gaps if like someone said that they’re both legally of age. If its an underage and someone like 18+ then that would kind of be weird in my opinion but otherwise I support this as a child of parents with an 18 year age gap :heart:

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Honestly, regardless of how old I am, I don’t like big age gaps at all. I think they’re less creepy the older you get (like a 50yo with a 40yo or an 80yo with a 60yo), but I personally don’t like them at all if the gap is more than 6 years.


30 yrs with 40 yrs and so on is fine to me

older adults with old ppl, yeah, do whatever u want, ur old enough to understand what ur doing

21 year olds with 50 year olds? bye


Age gaps can be very creepy. For example, I’m not sure why someone would wanna date someone they legally can’t drink with, or go to some adult spaces with, even if they are a legal adult. Someone else on here explains it well so i wont get into too much depth on the creepiness of age gap relationships, so I’ll say what i’m personally okay with.

I only accept a maximum 9 year age gap if both characters are above 21, and that age gap can increase as the younger party is older. For example, a 30 year old with someone who’s 45+ is less weird than a 20 year old with someone 35+. Even weirder when you see those types of relationships in fiction mimic an adult-child dynamic. But that’s largely the appeal of those types of relationships. Personally, I’ll DNF a story with those kinds of age gaps.

Uh… Wouldn’t go against it, but probably not a good idea to portray age gap romances as a good thing to the masses.
But the age gap alone doesn’t define what I’d be disgusted of, a ten-year age gap between a 20 year old and a 30 year old is acceptable, whereas a 10 year age gap between a 10 year old and a 20 year old is a red flag for me.

Whatever type of romance it is, permission and parameters are important. You can nail a girl or a guy up the wall as a guy or a girl, but you can’t do that without the other’s permission. I do not stand by harassment, and that’s my opinion.

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red flag? that’s a whole ass prison sentence


Depends on which country you live in, to be honest. You’d be surprised that someone thinks that child marriage is a good thing…