noo and they take is so far too. Like how are you gonna like a guy who kicks you in the stomach, degrades you and convinces others that it’s ok to do so as well? Like if we’re doing enemies to lovers, teasing is ok. If it’s funny banter, and we know what it is.
But the whole bully romance thing is so freaking extreme that you can’t find any romance in the LI actions. It’s just a no for me.
At least in enemies to lovers(if done right) its a mutual back n forth
These bullies need help. End of story.
It can be as simple as “joking about someone to the extent of harassing them” and it can cover kids, adolescents, even adults.
I was one who was pushed around because of “a disease” in my neighbourhood. That was when I was 10. It didn’t end until a year later.
Majority of them were people of the gender I’m attracted to. I didn’t feel junk about them. I hate them.
I hate them. I hate them so much.
as someone who was bullied. I look back to that with hate and disapr. I am an adult, I had theropy, I reach a point in my life where it no longer affect me. I still will not have anything to do with them.
I dont care if they redeemed themself, become better people. I still dont want them in my life.
and I cant imagine. the only people who like this kind of plot are people who didn’t experience bulling, or where the bullies.
people who got graped dont like stories about grape. we put warnings in stories about that because its trauma. so is bulling. and that’s a thing there last for years sometimes.
its not romantic, its not enemies to lovers. its not I can fix him trope. what it is falling for your abusier. that’s not romantic.
I made a post about enmies to lovers, including bully and victim, and explain why that one is my least favourite I actually hated it, but I wanted to say it in a nice way
I recommend reading for everyone, who even think about writhing and enemies to lovers.
Discussion: Enemies to lovers - Community / Episode Fan Community - Episode Forums (episodeinteractive.com)
Only one word: Disgusting.
I get it that some people say that falling in love with a bully is like you feel like you’re not worth anything else and it can be very traumatic. But romantizing it is so not done…
Same with stories in which someone falls in love with the man who abushes her…
I’m sorry you went through that
Thankfully I was never bullied but I did grow up in an abusive home, was in an abusive relationship, was raped, a few days after being raped was taken advantage of by someone I thought was my “friend” and not gonna lie all throughout my teenage years up until my early 20’s I was a train wreck hurt myself way more then anyone else ever did and didn’t attract the best kinda people so while I have no idea what bullying feels like I definitely know what it feels like to go through trauma, the slow painful process of trying to get better and to see these types of sensitive topics be romanticized, disrespected and used for entertainment in stories
Yeah i agree with you…bullying is sooo not cool…i could get if the guy is teasing the girl but any other thing asides that is just over rated.
Tbh some people don’t even like to be teased because somehow people make fun of your insecurity or something while teasing you which is a no on my path
You to, that most have been horrible to go though, I hope you are in a better place in life.
Being secretly in love with someone is NO excuse for bullying. There are thousands of ways for you to show your affection, yet you choose to hurt them in one of the worst ways possible.
While I do believe that everyone deserves a second chance, a bully cannot redeem themselves by declaring their love for the bullied. It’s just a way to manipulate the bullied again and evade the consequences of one’s actions.
If an author thinks that it’s okay to make a bully a LI, they have clearly not been bullied themselves.
Bully and romance shouldn’t even be in the same sentence imo. Coming from someone who’s been bullied relentlessly as a kid, I can’t see how a bully could transform into a romantic partner, a best friend/companion who’s supposed to treat you anything but like someone who goes out of their way to harm you. Bullies should seek therapy instead, not love - They’re not ready for that, it wouldn’t be fair on themselves or the other person involved in that ‘relationship.’
And if the narrative is about a bully who’s secretly in love with the MC then frankly that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It saddens me that the bully-to-lovers trope even exists in the literary world. It puts a taint on our beloved rivals/enemies-to-lovers trope which sometimes gets mistaken for bully romances (provided it’s done right & not toxic) when it shouldn’t because enemies to lovers has an equal power play that bully romances are obviously missing.
Thank you that really means a lot But i’m glad you’re in a better place too
This is a little off topic but when I was a kid probably around 11 I played with a group of kids that lived in my neighborhood and this one kid had a 5 year old little sister who was a total sweetheart and despite how badly he treated her she still loved him more then life itself it seemed like always wanted to tag along with us and spend time with him. We never had an issue with it but he always did and acted like he hated her for some weird reason. He verbally bullied her all the time and we always said something of course but I remember one time it turned physical- it was just me, him and her and we were at a playground (it was a church playground the church was about half a mile from our neighborhood) we were gonna take turns going down this slide but she wanted to go first he kept saying no which led to her playfully cutting in front of him and he got really pissed and pushed her off the slide and instead of going down it fell off the side of it. Thankfully she didn’t get seriously injured and it wasn’t that high up but she ended up scraping both of her hands and knees up pretty bad and I remember going down and checking on her then when he walked up to us not upset that he hurt her and apologizing but mad at her because she “made him do it” that she was gonna get him in trouble and got mean with the both of us saying not to tell anyone… welp I kinda snapped and lost my temper on him ended up taking a plastic toy bat he had with him and hit him with it until it broke (keep in mind it was a light plastic hallow toy bat not a real wooden or steel bat so after two swings it was broke) and he ended up running back home crying and after that I walked her back home and explained what happened to their mom- she didn’t get mad and I never got in trouble so I can only assume she knew how he was treating her. It wasn’t my proudest moment and obviously I felt bad (still do) and regretted doing it but thankfully he didn’t get hurt but I just remember how pissed it got me that he was treating her that way and him pushing her was the last straw because he could’ve potentially killed her. He didn’t show back up for a while she did then after a while he came back and was a lot nicer to her so I can only assume he realized what he was doing was wrong and/or was starting to get help I don’t know tho.
Never been bullied but after seeing it I can only imagine how bad it is for the person who’s going through it especially if it’s at the hands of someone who’s supposed to love you.
Ok, I think it kind of depends. I like bully tropes when they only do it because they want their attention, and don’t know any other way to get it. (It’s still wrong, however). BUT, I hate it when they allow others to bully. I like it when it’s like only ‘they’ are allowed to bully the protagonist and they won’t let anyone else bully them.
BUT- there’s bullying… And then there’s abuse… There’s a huge difference.
its sooo unrealstic because it would never happen in real life and it is so toxic!
thats definitely not normal behaviour, I hope he changed but he was abusive, everything you mention is abusive behaviour.
Yeah I know still feel kinda bad for what I did tho but I guess it helped because afterwards he was a lot nicer to her I guess with my past I always hate seeing people getting treated badly by others kinda feels like i’m reliving what happened to me if that makes sense About a year or two after that happened they moved back to their home state haven’t seen or heard from them since then just hope he was able to deal with whatever issues he had going on, they’re both doing well and their relationship was able to heal.
I don’t know. I think people who stoop to that level are irredeemable, no matter how much you try. As a victim, I remember my tormentors, and still have nightmares. They may not remember me as after all these years, but I still remember them.
that is very true. I remember this guy in my class a couple of years ago. He was awful. He would always say horrible things to me (I won’t go into detail coz it’s too much effort hahaha) but basically, everyone thought that he had a crush on me. And everyone thought I had a crush on him back because I was getting mad and yelling at him. The point is, it got so out of hand that my mental health got so terrible, and his actions kept escalating to the point where the police got involved. People still thought he had a crush on me, and that I was just being difficult. So I guess, you’re right in a way- it kind of sets up that whole idea where if I guy is mean to you, it’s because he likes you, and females can’t have feelings without people thinking they like him back? It’s really dumb- but I guess these stories have some influence over the bias placed in our minds…