When did you first realize you were LGBTQ+?

Buzzfeed like post coming…
I’m afab and first realized I wasn’t straight when all my friends (girls) were talking the male celebrities they were crushing on and I was had to come up with a random boy because I really was crushing on Kristin Stewart (although I didn’t know it was a crush, I just really wanted to be friends with her :smirk:).
Really should have known earlier. I dressed up as a cowboy one Halloween and made sure everybody knew I was a cowBOY not a cowGIRL.
Now I’m out as a nonbinary lesbian. :rainbow_flag:


Well, I’ve always felt like I was neither apart of the LGBTQ+ nor like everyone else because I wasn’t really aware of all of the identities within the LGBTQ+ community, only the most known ones so I didn’t think I’d ‘qualify.’

I actually only found out I was apart of the LGBTQ+ community this year thanks to a bit of curiosity and research and it’s taken a fair bit of mental adjustment (in a weird and good way). I’ve discovered more about myself this year than I thought I ever would and it’s been scary but exciting at the same time. I’ve always known how I’ve felt within, but to actually see that there are others like me, there are people who can relate and understand, there are flags and labels to represent parts of me and I’m apart of something greater – it’s pretty nice. (:

LGBTQ+ has presented me with the capability to decide and find who and what I am true to myself without letting other people and society dictate and decide for me. Of course, I’m not totally free of society’s expectations and standards and I may never be, but the community has given me some power over my own mind and I think that’s the most powerful.

This is long, sorry.

I’d always chosen to have characters of opposing genders whenever I could. I’d slightly be leaning towards male though in my preference and how I felt within my mind and soul, but the community allowed me to discover that I wasn’t strange, weird or horrible, but rather that I was/am non-binary because I can’t possibly conform or shove myself into only one of the traditional two binaries. My soul genuinely feels incomplete without one or the other. I wouldn’t be me without one or the other.

My love of gender-benders wasn’t just a phase or a liking, my numerous characters of different genders in different games wasn’t just something for the sake of it. The times I’d go to school with my friends dressed with the heavy implication of a different gender (not saying clothes should be gendered, but I hope you get what I mean). The times of wishing my physical body could keep up and change with me has always been something I’ve desired, but it’s not possible so I have to settle for what I have. Not knowing what to be called or what to feel most connected with has always been a bit of a battle and tbh it still is, especially since discovering I’m very much apart of the LGBTQ+ community.

Majority of the time, I definitely feel like more of a he/him, but sometimes, I feel like more of a she/her and the strangest part is, I don’t feel connected with they/them even tho that better matches my two halves as some would call it. I have tried to use they/them for the sake of everyone’s sanity, but I just struggle to do it and I don’t really know what the alternative is since I’m not fond of neopronouns. Probably because I’ve known they/them as plural for more than one physical person for most of my life but I don’t feel like both halves of my gender are two people, but rather, only one.

It’s difficult to examine and then put into words how I feel, but I am absolutely bigender and for those that aren’t totally sure what that falls under, it’s a non-binary identity as well as a trans identity. When I read up on the definitions, on other people who identify as such, I can relate, I can understand and the puzzle pieces of my life begin to come together. I know such an identity leaves others who don’t get it with a lot of questions and that’s okay — it’s hard to understand something you aren’t or can’t experience yourself. And it’s never a bad thing to want to learn or try to understand things that aren’t from your own perspective.

I’m also a demi through and through, yet another part of me that’s always had me wondering. I can see how those who aren’t demi think that it’s invalid or that most people on the planet are demi, but really, it isn’t and most people aren’t. I’ve never felt the same as those around me, my ex, my friends, my classmates, my parents. There were times where I felt that something might’ve been wrong with me because it wasn’t that the sexual attraction wasn’t wanted by me, but rather that I just didn’t have it even though sometimes I did want it to be there. It was like apart of me was missing because sexual attraction is ‘supposed’ to be there but isn’t for me, no matter how hard I try. I just cannot form it for the life of me and even when I do, it’s only after much time of being a best friend. If sexual attraction is going to form for me, I have to essentially be the person’s best friend first and practically in love with them before I even feel the want for intimacy. I have to be in too deep before I can even remotely feel what most others can feel without much effort, without a really deep connection and without love. I’m not going to say being a demi is cool, because for me, it definitely isn’t. I feel inhibited and caged but also like a car without a gearbox or engine – there, but unable to function the same way others do, because a fundamental part seems to be missing.


Well for a while I thought that I was just a really good ally lol. Then one day it just hit me that the way I was thinking about my best friend wasn’t exactly “normal”. I was 13, almost 14 (this was back in 2013) I cried a lot and didn’t know what to do. I thought that I was bi or pan for a while (both 100% completely valid) but it wasn’t right for me, In my case I struggled for years with compulsory heterosexuality. I identify as a lesbian now, but I couldn’t really admit it to myself until just last year.

It’s funny because I honestly didn’t think that I was gay in the slightest when I was younger, but looking back it’s very obvious to me now :joy:


That’s honestly how I began to notice! I developed a super strong crush in middle school on one of my female friends. I actually told her about it last year and she was super supportive about it. However she is definitely straight, we’re still friends though and she’s a huge lgbtq ally


That’s awesome :blush: I know how scary that must have been. I told my friend that I had liked her like 5 years later and she was also incredibly supportive. She’s straight too, but she always let me know that she was flattered and it wasn’t an issue. I’m happy that your friend is being supportive. It’s good to have people you can trust. :relaxed: Some people get weirded out when they find out, but it’s always nice when they are supportive instead.


This past year when learning about bisexuality through the media. :bi_flag: I had no idea my childhood crushes on both girls and guys had a name. I always had the mindset that you like who you like and you don’t name it but turns out there is a name for these things. I kept doubting it but I think it is confirmed now. I have had so many light girl crushes over the past while and I always knew I liked guys. :woman_shrugging: I am glad I discovered the names for these things since it helped so much.

I am even planning a pride picnic with my friend (who is Bi/non binary) for their birthday and I am so excited! :partying_face: They were so bummed that pride month in our country had passed and it wasn’t in their birthday month (for our country). :pensive:

Story 1 - Bisexual

I always had crushes on boys, but my earliest memory of liking a girl was my 6th grade science class. I was sitting in the back of the room when a girl in the front spoke up, and all I could think of was just how cute she was and how much I wanted to be her friend. (During this age range I was stuck on the thought that if I became best friends with someone we would fall in love :neutral_face:)

Anyways, afterwards, I’d try talking to her but she was one of the “popular” girls. She was nice to me, but we never developed the friendship I wanted :woman_shrugging:t3:

Eventually I grew past it, and I didn’t realize until years later and more encounters with girls, that I actually had a legitimate crush on her, and I was indeed bisexual.


Story 2 - Aromantic

I didn’t discover that I was aromantic until very recently. Over the course of my life, I was really flirty with people, more interested in doing the deed than going on actual dates, but I never really thought much of it. Romance is hit or miss with me, sometimes it grosses me out (like those corny Christmas movies that my fiancé loves), or sometimes I love it (certain episode stories, including my own).

My first and only serious relationship outside of high school is with my now fiancé. But it was still the same feelings as before, I enjoyed spending time with him, but I could careless about the romantic dating aspect. We never hold hands in public, I never kiss him in public or hold him etc. But I trust him and feel very comfortable with him, and am not interested in getting to know anyone else.

He proposed to me (finally :roll_eyes:) last year after being together for over 5 years, and I started planning our wedding. Up to this point, I had thought this increasing feelings of repulsion around being romantic with him was because of our children. Heck, I didn’t even wanna do the deed anymore cause I’m so tired all the time. But as I planned the wedding, I didn’t want to express “all my love” for him at the altar. I didn’t want to spend 3 minutes slow dancing while EVERYONE watches! (Awkward???)

During the Queer contest, I read the story Not Heartless by Illustrated…and I was crying by the end of it. It really just made so much sense to me :cry: I felt like I finally had an answer as to why I’ve felt like this for as long as I can remember, even though it didn’t really bother me until recently.

My fiancé and I had an argument, mostly about me being “detached” and I told him about aromanticism and let me tell you… he ticks me off literally all the time, but he was so considerate of me telling him this. He wanted to learn more. I also mentioned I thought I may be asexual as well (I now know that I’m not) and he would actually Google what they meant so he could understand better.

Now, we’ve come up with ways to have a unique, non traditional wedding where he gets what he wants, but I’m also comfortable too. We won’t be reading our vows out loud, and we’re planning on making our first dance fun and including our children. Our “honeymoon” is probably just going to be a tattoo/movie/dinner date (partially because we can’t afford anything more, or get more time away from the kids).

Like, I’m 25 and I feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I discovered aromanticism. I still have a lot to learn about it yet, but I know for a fact that it’s part of who I am.

This is the first time (I think) that I’ve ever publicly shared my actual experiences, at least with aromanticism. I’m definitely crying a little bit rn 🥲


Not heartless is so good! It feature so many different sexualities and genders, I love it.

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I always had a crush on princess Jasmin or Ariel in the little mermaid. Didn’t register with me until middle school that I may like girls.

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I’ve always felt a little different around girls than I do boys but I know I like boys. I had always supported the LGBTQ+ community cause I thought people in that community were amazing. When my friend, who is bi, asked me questions and I explained how I felt she started to help me realize that I’m bi. I know that sounds weird for a friend to help but I was very confused and didn’t know what to do. That was last July and now I know for sure that I am bi and I’m proud to be.


It is a wonderful story, and perfectly written. It’ll always be close to my heart :heartbeat:

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I also did a bunch of research and tried remembering memories from when I was younger and looking back now, I definitely liked girls and boys. I knew I liked boys cause I’ve had crushes on them before but when I met my best friend, I started hanging out with her way too much and only wanted to hang out with her. Now I realize that I had a massive crush on her but I didn’t know it at the time.

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I’ve always known I was bisexual because I’ve always felt like that. Even as a kid. Except that one lesbian phase I had.

I knew I was trans since around 9 or 10, though there’d be signs here and there before that. I knew I was trans because I’d always prefer to be addressed as a guy. I’d pick a masc name online and dress up my characters as guys on video games. I really liked being referred to as a guy and with he/him pronouns, it felt really correct to me. But I didn’t outright call myself transgender until a bit later and that’s when I knew I was genderfluid as well. I don’t exactly know the reasoning of why I knew, but I just remember it feeling really right to me.

Of course, I was experiencing more transphobia than a kid could handle, and I was told by other transgender people to keep stealth online and keep my transness to myself so I’d never have people questioning my gender or being transphobic to me. I was miserable having to go through transphobia but it was even more miserable to keep it a secret. That’s why I’m so vocal about it now.

When I hit around the age of 14 ish I had convinced myself that me being non-binary was a phase. Then, by 15, I had convinced myself I was never trans. Even though I was experiencing gender dysphoria when living as my AGAB., I still tried to bury the thought in the back of my head. Mostly, because my life would be a lot easier to just be cis. I’d never have to face transphobia, have gender dysphoria, and have to risk being disowned by my Christian and very anti-LGBT+ family. But my feelings were always complicated. I wasn’t miserable living as my AGAB, in fact, I sometimes enjoyed it. But it never felt like the real me.

I didn’t think about being trans until I felt the feelings come back again when I started interacting online. Especially on Episode. Being called masc names, masc pronouns, being a guy online, etc brought me a lot of happiness and comfort. It felt authentic. It was the same feelings I had as a kid. And then, the idea that I might be non-binary came back too, and it felt right. And although I didn’t have a ton of gender dysphoria while living as my AGAB, since I’ve accepted myself as trans, I do heavily suffer from gender dysphoria and it sucks so much ass. All the ass. I don’t know how long I’ll need to wait before I medically transition because I’m not out to my entire family and my parents are incredibly transphobic. Facing losing my family to transition and live comfortably in my body is a really fucking scary choice to make.

I want to clarify that although I’m transmasc, I’m also non-binary. I am not a man. I am not a diet or ‘lite’ version of a man. I am non-binary, and my identity is fluid and complex and beautiful. I’ll always be transmasc, but there are times I identify myself more femininely, i.e as wlw/sapphic, use fem labels for myself, express my gender through fem clothing (or through masc clothing as a femme), etc. Other times it’s the opposite, and I lean masc. Sometimes, I like to be more gender neutral. Sometimes I’m the fucky in-between of all three. It’s never 100% male or woman. There’ll always be a part of me that’ll be non-binary. Maybe that’ll change, maybe I’ll experience being non-binary differently, maybe I’ll be binary, maybe not. But for now, it’s what feels right to me.

I’m saying all this crap because although he/him pronouns were what felt right at the time, I no longer use it and it now brings me gender dysphoria because:

  1. Non-gender neutral pronouns may not match what feels right to me at the time.
  2. It feels like an erasure of the complexity of my identity.

Keep this in mind, especially if you know me and we interact. :eye: :lips: :eye:

Story time...

I, a female, realized I was bisexual around…3-4 years ago :thinking: Although I do identify as bi, my pronouns are she and her. I found out I liked my best friend who is also a female, during a dream I had. It was odd at first because in that dream we were being very flirtatious towards each other and I thought nothing of it at the time since I was pretty young. And me being a young teenager at the time, I assumed it was my “questioning my sexuality” phase or I was just really close with my best friend. I later found out that I developed feelings for her outside of my imagination and ended up telling her. It became pretty obvious that she had feelings back for me once I told her I did to her, because she started being very affectionate afterwards. (Hugging me more, kissing my cheek, putting her arm in my arm when we walked while chatting and more but I won’t get into too much detail). Long and sad story short she liked me back, she dated someone else, we never took anything further then being friends, and she moved away, and I’m now in a relationship with a male. I’m happy, hope she’s happy too. :woman_shrugging:t4:

The End.


I knew I liked girls since I was five and my grandma had to tell me to stop kissing my then best friend and I was just like “but I’m in love with her??” I identified as bisexual up until eighth grade because someone on WeeWorld said that if I liked girls, I was bi; and I just rolled with it. Then sophomore year of highschool someone asked me if I even liked boys; I thought about it and concluded I didn’t but didn’t really stop calling myself bisexual until my friend broke it down like: “You like women, women-aligned, and nonbinary people.”
“And not men.”
“You’re gay.”
And I’ve been doing my own lesbo thing since :relieved:

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My dads side of the family is very anti - lgbt so I’m not out to them and can relate to some of those feelings. I’m super thankful my dad doesn’t agree with their views.

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Wow, I can’t read too well on a screen but your stories are so special. <3
Mine is super boring actually :joy:
So I was just sitting either at my kitchen table or my bed and I realized that I never had a crush on someone. That then led me to think about why that is. For the next month after that I started to notice that I thought some girls at my school were kinda cute, not crushing but noticed they were cute. And, I don’t really think boys are cute but it’s mostly their personalities that ruin it. :sweat_smile: So since I’ve never had a crush I stick with I’m undecided, though I think deep down I know that I know what and who I like. I am mostly split between bi and lesbian, mainly because I know I’m not straight. Also, I haven’t talked to my family bout this at all, I know they’ll support me but I don’t want all that attention. I’d rather wait till I know before I come out.


Bump, cuz I like reading others’ experiences.

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I didnt

I’ve always supported LGBTQ+ community and I loved to read bl and gl. But I first realized that I wasn’t straight, was when my best friend was talking to me about a boy, and instead of listening, I was staring at her lips. I wasn’t one who was obsessed with boys, I had boyfriends but none really lasted. Then in 7th grade, after debating whether I was lesbain, bi, or pan, I decided that I was polyamorous Bisexual.

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