Which is more interesting

So I’m lying here in bed when a scene for my upcoming story came into my head but I don’t know which version to go for.

To avoid spoilers I’ve changed there names

So to set the scene one of the police detectives you work with has found something and while looking into this realises its in connection with a known drug dealer. But when he goes to the last known address he finds that the guy he’s after isn’t living there anymore.

Now I have 3 ideas as to how this could work

Zack: Whatever your selling I ain’t buying
Sam: Hold on I’m not trying to sell anything
Zack: Yeah? So what’d you want?
Sam: Do you know where I could find a Mr Thomas Smith?
Zack : Depends on who askin?

Choice 1 “tell him you’re a cop”

Sam: I’m Detective Sam Johnson I work with the local police and I need to talk to him in connection with some enquiries.

Zack: Pfft I aint no snitch get out of here

You leave and wait until you hear him call Marcos to see if you can get any information

Choice 2 “Lie”

Sam: Names Densal word on the street is Marcos used to run this patch right?

Zack: Look! I aint in the business no more ok? I aint spoken to him in about 3 years

Sam: Fine! You got anyway of connecting him?

Zack: Maybe, can’t guarantee it’s gonna work like I say last I spoke to him was 3 years ago.

Sam: it’s fine just give me the contracts.

Zack: Hey! Nothing is for free

(Negotiable scene blah blah blah then you get the details)

Version 2: Thomas is a snake (no options)

Zack: Whatever your selling I ain’t buying
Sam: Hold on I’m not trying to sell anything
Zack: Yeah? So what’d you want?
Sam: Do you know where I could find a Mr Thomas Smith?
Zack: Tom? That snake… why whats he done now?
Sam: I just need to talk to him
Zack: Hell what do I care he threw me under the bus couple years back… revenge is a dish best served cold…

Version 3: a troubled man (no option)

Note: zack’s behaviour in this in this version is more mellowed and gaurded

Zack: Whatever your selling I ain’t buying

Sam: Hold on I’m not trying to sell anything

Zack: Yeah? So what’d you want?

Sam: Do you know where I could find a Mr Thomas Smith?

Zack: won’t you guys just leave me alone, I don’t get involved anymore, I paid I debt to society please just leave me alone.

Sam: I’m not here to buy anything, I work with the police and I…

Zack: I said I’m not involved anymore!

Zack’s wife: Honey who is it?

Zack: Just someone asking for directions babe, I’ll be in soon. Look I’ve started a new life ok please leave me out of it!

Sam: Does your wife know… about

Zack: Shhhh keep your voice down! I haven’t told her about my past yet, I’m a changed man! If she found out about my past she’d leave me.

Sam: Well you tell me what you know and this exchange stay between us…

Zack: and if I don’t?

Sam: Then maybe I accidentally leak your profile to your wife…

Zack: You wouldn’t….!!!

Sam: Like I say… you tell me what I wanna hear and this will be the last you hear from me!

Note: sam is usually a gentle character so this scene does not depict who he really is normally, this is done is desperation.

I was thinking about merging version 3 into version 1 as an “call his bluff option” but I don’t think it would fit as the character Zack would have to change his character behaviour dramatically from being cocky to desperate.

What do you guys think?

2!

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