link below if you do :0 also its my first story everr, so be gentle lol 
I’d love to read it and give a feedback if you want!
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yes pleaseee
Hey! I just read your story! Do you want me to leave a review here or PM you?
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i don’t mind
Okay! Well, first things first, congrats on making your very first story! 
Before I begin, I want to let you know this isn’t meant to make you feel bad or hurt you, I don’t like sugarcoating the truth so it may come off as rude. I apologize in advance.
You’re writing about a good girl and a bad boy, I’m assuming. Popular concept! It used to be my favorite lol.
So I want to ask you a quick question first. Do you read through your story before publishing? If not, I recommend you do. What I noticed was that the story seemed very rushed, the scenes were short/choppy and the character placement was off in most of the story. Please read and watch tutorials on coding/directing.
Also, the dialogue could be better! It was just lacking some depth, like there was no… (i can’t think of the word). It just seemed very one note and did not flow well. Also, please check your grammar! Punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, capitalizations are all important when writing!
Episodes should be at least 800 lines (aim for 1000 lines without CC) or at least 10 minutes. I read your whole story in 5 minutes or less.
As for the characters, they seem very basic. In other words, they were just your typical cliche of a bad boy and good girl. Add some more personality to them.
Before continuing, read the content guidelines. The first scene of your story is against guidelines, you cannot show parental abuse on screen. Also, don’t use other people’s stories as a reference on what to write or not write. Remember, you are responsible for your story, so whatever you write and publish, will be seen by the episode team and the rest of the community.
I understand this was your first story and you still have a lot to learn. Treat this as your baby. You want to publish a story you care dear to your heart. You want it to be the best you’ve written. Don’t rush it, take your time.
I hope you take what I told you onto your writing journey. I hope I didn’t come off as rude, I don’t think I did, but everyone reacts to everything differently.
If you have any more questions or need help with writing, please let me know! 
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I also wanted to add that when you describe a scene, it would be better to have it for the narrator, not the character’s thoughts.
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