Would love some opinions on my first episode

opinion

#1

Hi there!

I am completely new to creating a story. i’ve been an addicted reader for more than half a year now.
And since i’ve always loved writing short stories i wanted to try and create my own.

I just finished my first chapter, and being new to the community i would love for someone to read it and give me some pointers.
I know it might be too early for this, But if someone wants to take a look it would be great!!

So another reminder: This is my first episode and it is just finished !!
I basically just need some support, because i don’t know what the heck im doing,

For now my working title is: Getting out there

link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6291950116667392

thank you !!!


#2

I will check it out for you!


#3

Thank you so much! Can’t wait to hear what you think.


#4

I can do a review :slight_smile:

You can read mine if you want too but I don’t force you lol

Story title : Sandy and her Quadruplets
Author : R.J.
Genre : Comedy
Description : How can she survive with noisy and disobedient quadruplets? Will she finally find the father of her sons ? Here’s the crazy life of Sandy and her quadruplets!
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5337323130716160


#5

That would be great! I will check out your story when i have the time too :smiley:


#6

Hey! I finish the first chapter (also read the second but you didn’t finish it) and here’s my review :

  • The first chapter is very nice and the directing was good!!! Sadly, it was short. The reader has to feel that the Daisy really wants to get out of the town maybe you add more situations that show why she really wants to go or not!
  • It’s just a suggestion but I imagine that her boyfriend can be a little bit more controlling but it’s just an idea lol! The characters are really great and well described by the way!
  • I love the fact that there’s a lot of choices! That’s awesome!!! :smiley: (question for you : do they have an impact in the story or not really?)

That’s all I have to say and it’s a good start! I would like to the read the rest of the story :blush:


#7

Hello :smiley:

Thank you so much for reading, and your review made me really happy!

You are not the first one to say it was short, so I will be adding the scene from the beginning of the second episode to the first one.
And it’s a good idea to add some more comments about this town by Daisy so i will definitely add that!

Thanks for the huge compliment about my characters! I think because I hated the boyfriend i didn’t give him enough time in the episode, but i will go over it and make his character a bit stronger.

Yeah I do want the choices to have some influence, like the choice you make with chris in the living room decides who breaks up the two of you.

Thank again! You have really helped me! :grin: xx


#8

You’re welcome :slight_smile: I love when choices matter, the story is more interesting!
If you had any questions, you can ask me :blush:


#9

Hi I will check your story out :grin:


#10

Thanks, that would be great! I am currently working on episode 3 ,
One and two are kind of finished and episode one i already improved with earlier feedback!

Can’t wait to here your comments and opinion! :slight_smile: