🙋🏼‍♀️ Would you compete for a boyfriend or girlfriend? 🙋🏻‍♂️

well your brother can be aromantic. it’s okay to not like someone romantically! in my opinion, platonic love is more important than romantic love. :))

5 Likes

Ooo I like this question but no I wouldn’t compete for anyone because if I’m not their first choice then what’s the point :star_struck:

3 Likes

No, never.
Cuz I know I deserve better than to be chosen out of two people. I know everyone deserves better to be chosen out of two. I don’t want to contribute harm to my own and/or another girl’s/ guy’s mental health.

And I also believe, that those who are meant to stay…don’t leave.

So no, I won’t participate in a fight. It’s not worth it. Never is.

3 Likes

Lmao, we’ve all been there.

This is gorgeous thinking to me. Probably because we all grow up thinking that if you’re in a relationship or if you want one, you own the person you’re with (or want to be with). When it’s very untrue. The only thing you actually own in this life is yourself, the rest can come and go.

So uhm, to answer the question. No, I wouldn’t. I’m in a long term relationship now. If a girl were to come and try to steal my boyfriend… well, it’s all up to him. If he has doubts (as in, who he wants) then he probably doesn’t want me, and the same goes the other way around :woman_shrugging:t3:
There has be trust if you want the relationship to be healthy and to last. And, if it starts with a competition for the guy/girl/person then you pretty much don’t have the foundation down.

2 Likes

No,
If he wanna go, let him. This wasn’t valuable for him as much as it is for you. tbh it may hurt at 1st but It’s the right choice. You will realize it later… Don’t believe me? If he has doubts then it’s clear that he wanna leave you. People don’t value anyone until you have value for yourself(From my opinion) also TRUST is a big fact
I personally am not a person who does or likes relationships or dates. Single is fine.

2 Likes

it’s not that some people believe they’re destined to be alone, there are asexuals out there who genuinely can’t feel attracted to someone and therefore wouldn’t be in a relationship.
But coming back to the competing part of your thread, heck to the no.
Nobody should chase after someone else and they should always value themselves enough to let go. If they show the slightest bit of insincerity and are at a crossroad between you and someone else, you have to let go of that person. It’s obvious that that person isn’t sure of you and you don’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. There will be someone out there who would love you to death and wouldn’t even think about looking for someone else. They would treat you like you’re the one who hung the moon. I’m not a hopeless romantic, but I still believe that people get what they give. So, be honest and loyal and love with all your heart and you’ll get it in return. Or at least that’s what I believe.

2 Likes

you can fight for your relationship with someone under certain circumstances, but those circumstances don’t include competing with ANOTHER person. You’re not some price at a carnival, that person doesn’t get to pick between you and someone else. There isn’t supposed to be another person as an option. YOU are not supposed to be an option. That’s all I’m trying to say, have a good day.

3 Likes

Hey! Asexual is the term used for someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction or want to have sexual interactions and aromantic is the term used for someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction or want to be in a romantic relationship! I’m asexual and I still feel romantic attraction. :purple_heart:
Also I agree with everything you’ve said :blush:

3 Likes

I believe there are loads of types of asexuality, but I’m not entirely sure what they are. I’m going to read about it later when I get the time

1 Like

yes that’s definitely true! However asexuality doesn’t have anything to do with the aromantic spectrum except the fact that the both of them don’t feel a particular attraction. You can also indentify as aromantic asexual, which is when you don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction!

4 Likes

NOPE!!! :no_good_woman:t4:

You won’t catch me fighting over a guy… You can have him.

2 Likes

thank you for telling me that, I always love learning more about the LGBTTQQIAAP+ community!

2 Likes

awe of course it’s my pleasure :pleading_face::asexual_flag: (also i love the fact that you used the full acronym :sparkling_heart:)

3 Likes

I just recently discovered that I’m bisexual myself and I’m doing everything I can to learn more about the community so I really do appreciate you telling me about it!

2 Likes

Been there, done that!
From my point of view I can tell: If you ever have to compete for someone’s love/attention/time… you have already lost! As someone already said it before: If your partner wants to stay, he/she stays. Period! Someone who has doubts about whether they want to be with you or not because they think they can do better, let them go.
Also, if someone gives you reason to feel jealous most of the time, it’s not you but them! People who genuinely love their partners don’t give them a reason to be jealous or make their partner fight for them in the first place! And as someone who has been through that situation I can tell you, this is emotionally draining to the point of depression. No one is worth that pain! I had to learn it the hard way. You guys already said it perfectly: Don’t hold onto people who are questioning their feelings for you. Everyone deserves better than that!

Never be an option!

3 Likes

I’m incredibly sorry you had to go through that :pleading_face:

2 Likes

That’s very sweet of you! :blush: But looking back on it, I am grateful for the experience. In my eyes, even bad relationships can teach you a (necessary) lesson in some way.

4 Likes

that is true, I believe we can always learn something from the darkest points of our lives.
At the end of the day, we are who we are because of what we’ve been through. We’re all products of the things we experience and everything that breaks us down can build our character.
I’m really happy you’re past that point of your life.

3 Likes

Yea it was crazy.

Well I hope that you don’t go with him in the future. Let them work their issues though. Why is he even going behind her back and like someone else though? He needs to break up fully or he will just string you along. Some men lie for us girls to feel sorry for them. There are always 2 sides to a story. In my view though, if he can have feelings for you while with her that’s a red flag right there.

Yes, this is cultural craziness right there. Grandparents and parents tend to teach these things that you need to stay with a man even though he cheats. Yup our health comes first.

Yes definitely. I always tell myself that there are approximately 7.8 billion people in this world. There MUST be someone out there for me. Probably not in my country but I know for a fact that 7.8 billion people can’t hate me, lol.

I’m glad that this thread was made. I hope younger people are reading our experiences and move on. Some people commit suicide, drink poison or harm themselves because they can’t have that particular person. Just move on and your bad boy mafia prince charming (I’m joking, I just mean that special someone) will come your way lol.

5 Likes

He has his family to love him and his craziness :joy::upside_down_face:

2 Likes