Would you like me to review your story?

Hello, I’ve been apart of the episode community now since 2017, but I would like to get more involved and start giving feedback to aspiring writers/creators such as myself! If you have a recently published story and would like to receive some feedback and tips on how to improve your writing and storytelling, I would be more than happy to help. Btw, if you would like to follow me, my instagram is @ellerie.stories!

So here are the rules if you would like me to review your story:

1.) Please, if you can, attach a small image of the cover

2.) Attach a link, the title and a brief summary on what your story is about

3.) How many episodes?

4.) How many LI?

5.) The genre?

6.) Your instagram username? And also, if you would like me to review your story you must be following my insta

and finally please understand that I am offering you constructive criticism, and therefore leaving a reply to this thread, should I choose to review your story, will be you in turn consenting to have your story reviewed by me personally in hopes of giving you tips on how to improve your storytelling and writing! I have no malicious intentions here, I am only here to help!

I will be reviewing your stories on the criteria of grammar/spelling, storytelling, directing, and overall flow, and giving you advice to hopefully improve!

Please leave your stories here so I can give you a review in my freetime, thanks!

8 Likes

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Betrayal Trust
You and your best friend move in together, and secrets begin to unravel and turn into unfortunate incidents that lead to death.
15 Episodes (Completed)
Limelight
Drama/Romance
Instagram: MyaWritez
Appreciate that your helping!

Hello Ellerie. Thanks for doing this. I’d love to have a review :heart:

1.)

Cover

2.) Attach a link, the title and a brief summary on what your story is about

Title: i-Humanoids.

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5273039194488832

Description: With the increasing cases of missing people in the metropolis, you can trust no one. But can you trust a mysterious non-entity whom for all the while you thought is a human?

3.) How many episodes? 6

4.) How many LI? 1

5.) The genre? Mystery

6.) Your instagram username? sjwrites05

Oh gawd, yes, I would love if you would review mine! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::heart:

Title: Trifecta

Description: Tamika Eze has always dreamed of super-stardom! After being picked off the street by a hot-shot wannabe diva, the two find another aspiring singer and join a competition tour!

Genre: Drama

Chapters: 4

Instagram: writnwolph.episode

Cover:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5424087874863104

Thank you for the thread! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
:butterfly: Here’s my story:

Story Name: Queen B Diaries:
Author IG: @aa.writes.episode
Genre: Drama, rom-com
Description: You are awesome, kind…YES! YOU are the Queen Bee, and people love you! But, can you stop your arch-enemy when she will stop at nothing to dethrone you, and find love along the way? [1 LI, Full CC, M/F LI]
Episodes: 6 (Fully released)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6653573891555328
Cover:

Hi!
I would love a review, thank you!

My ig is Complicatedperson6 And I would like To have As many chapters reviewed as possible, thanks!


Do you also review unpublished ones?


Story :BIANCA
desc : Beauty, brain, wealth you got it all, but what happens when a crazy night change your entire life.
Romance/community
Instagram : @episode_sonia22
Thanks

Hi lovely !

I would like to ameliorate my story and I would love your opinion

This is my story details :slight_smile:

Title : Long time
Gerne: Romance / Mystery
Episodes: 8 ( ongoing)
Author: Lea
Instagram: lea.episode.1
Description: Hanna grew up in one of the most Dangerous Italian Mafia families.
Since her mum died from unknown circumstances she feels like a piece of herself is missing.
What happens when you feel like you don’t fit in this world anymore… and you want to know the truth?
When you cross his path will he help you?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5057764931076096
Cover:

ishttps://forums.episodeinteractive.com/t/mafia-story-recommendations/508240/17

WHY_LITTLE_VAMPIRE_posterThumb_0Ipsa6VAuN

Title: blood in the time
Description: Akeira is a dangerous vampire who cares about no one but herself but she has to cooperate with three strangers who comes to her City for a secret mission
Episode:4 ( ongoing)
Li:1
Genre:fantasy
Instagram:@sunshinee.epi

Heyy ! :two_hearts:
I would really like to hear your opinion on my story if you are interested ! :orange_heart:
It’s called Fire bond
Description : Isabelle is caught up in the mafia life. As she tries to escape she finds herself drawn to a mysterious stranger.
Will she find happiness or will her past destroy her ?
It has customization and it is limelight version :heart:
1LI and currently 7 episodes !
Gender : Action but it has a lot more too !

Here is the link to it : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4565467524694016
My instagram name is @epilifeofdianna
Thank you in advance ! :heart_eyes:

Hi there! I just finished reading the first episode your story:

Here’s some advice that I hope will help you!

  • When we are first able to cc the main characters (Isabelle and Rafael), I recommend you zoom on their faces so we can see the details more clearly rather than have the full body view; it’s just a minor detail, but it is a detail that I look for in stories because it’s seem more a bit more polished!
  • Also, during the customization, instead of a black screen background, I recommend that you find an interesting, eye-catching background that relates to the theme of your story as I know a lot of readers find a plain black screen off-putting some of the time

Now for the plot of the story:

  • As this is a mafia story, I really recommend and advise you to do some research as on all the different ranks there are involved in mafia as well as the different mafia groups there are in the United States. For example: you wrote the Capo of the New York Mafia but it’s not made clear what exactly you are referring to. What specific mafia family does he come from, what mafia group? There is not just one “mafia” in New York, there are actually five different mafia families, and I think if you would research into it, it could add a lot more depth to your story instead of vaguely being about the “New York Mafia.”
  • Another issue I found in your story was when Isabelle first goes out and demands money from that one guy on the street, she is using a gun at a very close range. To make it known, guns are not really used when you are close to a person, instead it is mainly advantageous at a further distance to aim and shoot a bullet. I would recommend that instead of a gun, you would have Isabelle use a knife as it seems more realistic
  • Also please use trigger warnings in your story as there is mention and scenes of violence!!
  • Now onto the sudden time jump: I honestly found the time jump awkwardly placed and would advise you to add some narration to make the story flow smoother as it just jumped rather abruptly to her two years later in France
  • Also - I found that the spot directing at the white building where Isabelle works and is standing outside of is quite off as she is nearly half the size of the building and does not represent realistic proportions

Now onto the things I enjoyed in your story:

  • the overall premise and plot of your story has potential and I really think you can succeed as long as you keep working on improving your skills, both as a director and a writer!
  • the cliffhanger at the end was a good touch and I think it will be interesting to see where things go from there and how the story will continue with the action being set up
  • and finally, I just really wanted to congratulate you for putting out a story, as it is not an easy thing, and wish you the best as you continue. I hope my advice will help you somewhere along the road!

Hello, ellerie.stories!

I would love to have you check out my story! Let me know what you think thus far. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! :slight_smile:

Title: Hindsight
Genre: Romance Drama
Episodes: 8 (more coming soon!)
Summary: On the rise fashion designer Lark Campbell, must pick between her best friend or the man of her dreams! How will she decide? You choose! (CC + 2 LI + Limelight)
IG: neeneeepisodes

Thank You!
NeeNee :grin:

Hey there! I read the first episode of your story so far:

Here’s some advice I will offer to you!

  • The cover art is beautiful, but I would like to see the title written somewhere on the cover so it seems more “official” in a sense
  • When we are given the option to cc, I highly recommend that you zoom on their faces so we are able to see the details more clearly! This may seem like a minor thing, but I promise you, it is a small detail that I look for in stories!
  • Also: I would recommend the vampire fangs overlay to be made a bit bigger, as I did have a little trouble finding and pressing on it to begin the story
  • In the introduction: the man that you have displayed seems to be randomized as his features do not match up with his portrayed race. For example: he is obviously Black, and yet his eye color is bright blue and his eyebrows are a light brown that does not match whatsoever. The lip color is also very off-putting and does not match his skin color as well. I would honestly advise you to correct these small changes as they can be seen as offensive to people and to be frank, show a lack of detail and effort
  • When you put a curse word in a story, also be sure to censor it! When Akeira says b#stard or r#pist, make sure you put a # to censor the word so you don’t risk episode taking down your story

Now for the plot:

  • The plot was honestly a bit confusing to follow along with in the first episode as I didn’t really get a ‘feel’ for what the story was going to be about
  • Okay: so first they were at school, then she was in class sleeping, reminiscing a memory of her mom, and then suddenly she is getting ready for a party, leaves to the party, feeds, and meets the li?
  • It just seemed kind of jumpy to me and I recommend that you add some more narration to carry along the plot and make it smoother
  • The episode was also quite short, and it is understandable as it is only the first episode, however I feel if you added some more details, it could be much longer and feel less ‘jumpy’

Now onto the things I enjoyed:

  • the plot and premise of the story is very unique and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it on episode before so it should be exciting to read more!
  • I also enjoyed that you added the option of a bonus scene at the end, but please be aware that 22 gems is A LOT! I would recommend that you instead charge 5 or 8 gems for the bonus scenes as that is what the majority of authors seem to do
  • and finally, as a final word: I want to congratulate you for publishing on episode, and I sincerely wish you the all the best for your story going forward!
1 Like

if you attach a link, I will happily review your story!

Title: A Valentine’s Surprise
Description: Chocolates. Roses. Love letters. These things never excite you, as well as your best friend Shane. Will a trip to San Francisco change both your perspective about Valentine’s Day?

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6011747150004224

How many LI: One
Genre: Romance
Episodes: 4

Thank u so much for ur advice i will fix my problems

Hey :wave:t5: Thanks for the thread! :raised_hands:t5:
So this one isn’t a romance, as thousands of these stories are lol. This is about the rise to power and fame in a school setting.

Title: Total Conttol - Blood Mist**
Genre: Drama/ real life / part musical / fantasy
Type: LL
Hass: MC with limited / progressive cc (I’ll explain)
Mini games / missions / mystery locations / map system / real life locations
Controversial topics

More details

Currently the story is in beta form and only the first episode is a bailable. It is being released fully as a season which contains 9 chapters. At the end of the beta chapter there is a code awarded to you that will unlock special / extra content at the end of EVERY chapter in season 1 or a small fee is asked.

The story was reviewed by two reviewers so far and a lot has been changed but aren’t yet in effect due to how it’s being released. All edits will come in season 1.

A girl and her team of friends create a group called Blood Mist to help bring her school out of the trench it fell in. Plagued by drug abuse, fighting, disrespect and poor education, her school has fallen from it’s pedestal. With the power of music, they captivate the student population to make a change.

An enemy school threatens yours and a war has begun. It’s up to the Blood Mist group to create allies among 9 different schools and fight!

The school has a dark history created by a former delinquent antagonist who is depicted in a version of the timeline set in the future. It shows how the school ended up that way but is hidden because of its controversial scenes. However, it is unlockable through a special code given at the end of season 1.

Progressive cc
This story features a map system that will contain all 9 school locations as well as shops story missions, side missions, mystery/ easter egg locations and multiple hair salons!

You will have the ability to change your hairstyle and color throughout the story at any of these salons when unlock and map is available.

Controversial topics
This story is set on a caribbean island and it’s schools and uniforms are near identical. However, is touches on some very delicate topics like:
Abuse - physical/distance
Bullying
Sex / sexual orientation
Poverty etc…
It’s not a story for everyone but maybe some few may find it interesting.

Fixes
I fixed some directing issues, added periods to dialog, shortened main character names, change starting skin color of MC as the story is set in a predominantly black and indian country and minor other things. Remember these changes won’t be seen till season 1 is released

For more in-depth info on the title visit the wiki forum page here
Total Control Wiki 🌐

My instagram: @tcworl.epy

Here is the link:

Thanks again! :wave:t5: