Hey,
No, I shouldn’t change much… It sounds really interesting to me… So, don’t doubt about it…
But I should also give info why the father isn’t in the picture…
(Because most readers will be curious about that, too… 
)
Do you have choices in your story?? You still have to question yourself if you want to make it more difficult for yourself with choices or not… (Because it will be more difficult to direct if you have choices…)
My weakness and a lot of other writers weakness is directing…
For scene directing and moving characters watch the tutorials from Joseph Evans or read the Guide on Episode…
Love A-W