@bshaye0957 Alright so I just read it, it has a pretty good plot! It’s definitely unique, so great job on that. And it has choices, which makes it interactive!
But there’s a few things I’d like to point out.
Try using more spot directing and zooms, it’s not necessary, but it adds a nice touch to the story, I know it can be tricky to use at first but if you need any help figuring it out, we’re over here! Also maybe add music too, it’ll definitely set the mood for the plot. Try ending the dialogues with periods or commas while the characters are talking, and try to avoid using the black background while stating what’s going on. From what I noticed I guess the only thing that makes the story less interactive is the black backgrounds with the text, instead of writing what the MC is doing, let’s say, laying down for example, have the MC lay down and use you narrator voice to say what’s going on while the reader sees her laying down. Or if you don’t want to do that, maybe have the background zoomed on her window or somewhere more colorful than a black background and then say what’s going on using the narrator boxes.
But either way, in all honesty the story has a really good plot, I haven’t seen anything similar to the whole note thing anywhere on episode, and for a first story you’ve got great directing and smooth scenes! Mad props to you on that!
I hope I was of any help.