Writher blog help to a scene

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1

I have this scene here. and it is kinda important but. it just sounds horrible. and I can’t make it work out please help

   JANE
Hey are you okay

    WADE
Do I look okay

    JANE
Okay can I be frank

    WADE
Sure.

    JANE
What is up with that woman

    JANE
I have never in life seen someone act like a scene

    JANE
Why are marring that woman? I did not even talk to her and I already hate her

    WADE
Trust me if I could get out of that marriage I would


    JANE
What do you mean it? it's not like you are forced to marry her

@WADE is idle_awkward
@JANE spot 1.256 268 -121
JANE
You are? why

    WADE
A favour for a friend

    JANE
That is some big favour you are doing for Don


    WADE
How you know it was him

    JANE
Lucky guess

    JANE
But why

    WADE
Good question. and something I should not talk about

    WADE
So excuse me for changing the subject


    WADE
But are you gonna go on date with Don

    JANE
What, no. he has not even asked me on one

    JANE
Why do think that has he said something

    WADE
Yes. will you say yes to a date with

    JANE
I dont know. Both he and I just got out of messy relationship

    WADE
I honestly thought a girl like you would be happy to land a guy like Don

    JANE
What do you mean a girl like me

    WADE
A girl who doesn't have any money

    WADE
But it is nice to know it isn't the money you are after

    JANE
(no I am after information. which properly is worse )

JANE
I may be poor. but I am not disparate

WADE
You know Don is a very nice guy

WADE
You should give him a chance

JANE
(a nice guy. whos dad leads a mafia)

JANE
Yeah, I have been told that.

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2

Hey

What do you think is wrong with it hun?

3

just how the conversation goes. i dont think there talk sound good. but forced

4

I didn’t really understand what she meant and I wanna help

I’ve just not heard from her

5

hi, overall its good but the bits in bold are what i think should be changed a little, ofc you dom’t have to change it but heres my opinion anyway :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

some bits werent super clear but otherwise I think it sounds good, i’m intrested on what will happen next :))
EDOT: Idk why but some bits are in bold when they’re not meant to

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