Writing my first story and could use some advice

Hey! So, I’m actually super anxious about writing this, but while writing I suddenly got so many ideas on how things could go in my story and it’s driving me insane! I’m curious to know what would make the reading experience more enjoyable based on some of the ideas that have come to me so far.

Basic plot
The story is about a vampire named Sam/Samina, a halfling from one of the royal vampire families. She is a rare kind of halfling, called Matriarch among the royal families. Matriarchs are halflings from royal bloodlines that are able to have children and are tasked with the responsibility of producing another Matriarch. Sam initially rejects her fate and runs away at a young age , only to be found years later and brought back to her family where she must face her fate, which is where the story picks up.

The reader will follow Sam as she comes to terms with her fate and through this journey, discovers the dark past of the how halflings, vampires and their “royal” society came to be. She also will learn a lot about her family and the sacrifices they made and eventually find love.

My main concern is how I should go about choices in the story, mainly with relationships, both romantic and non.

  1. With the family, I was leaning on letting it be up to the reader how Sam goes about rebuilding her family bonds. For example, Sam and her older sister are estranged and depending on choices, the reader could bring them closer. The same goes for Sam and her mother.

I plan on including 3 love interests, or well… 2.5. I’m not sure if I should make one of the characters a perusable love interest or not, which is another reason I’m making this post lol

  1. The main love interests will be two royal halfling’s that were chosen to be Sam’s potential partners a long time ago, but don’t worry they aren’t legit fighting for her. You can romance the one you like and build a beautiful friendship with the other unless you lead him on, then you’ll break his heart, shame on you. In fact, one actually has feelings for someone else but again, don’t worry, you wont be stealing someone’s man if you go for him. There’s some drama there as well and you’ll either be there for him as just a friend, if you’re going friend route, or it’ll help bring them closer romantically.

  2. Potential 3rd love interest that I’m debating on, would be a Nightwalker (humans that were turned into vampires) from Sam’s runaway days that she developed feelings for, although he did not see her in that way in the beginning. This relationship would inevitably be looked down upon, initially.
    Do you think this would be a fun inclusion? His character would be there either way, but the romance aspect I’m still debating on. Admittedly, I don’t think I’ll make him easy since he mostly saw her as someone to protect. Nightwalker culture is waaay different than what she grew up in.

  3. Customization
    A big thing I’m struggling with is whether the love interests should be customizable? Since its not a “you are the MC” kind of story, I wasn’t sure how much customization is desired. Also, the colors they wear are kind of significant, so I feel like I would have to limit some things. Would that still be okay?

  4. Bonus Romance
    Another romantic route I was thinking of adding would be that if you play your cards REAL well, you can be with both royals. Since it would increase the chance of a Matriarch, it’s actually encouraged in Sam’s society and is not uncommon, but again this would be like a bonus because it’s not easy to get two people to be in one relationship haha

Wow, I’m so sorry this is so long and I appreciate anyone that would take the time to give me their thoughts on these ideas, as well as the story in general.

To summarize:

Would building the family and MC’s relationships make for good choice inclusion?
Should I include the Nightwalker as a love interest?
Should the love interests be customizable, even though there will be some limits?
Should I include the poly route?
General thoughts on the story?

Again, if you’ve actually made it this far… thank you so much!



First I want to say that I’m a big fan of fantasy stories. However, I often find vampire/werewolf stories filled with a lot of cliché things what discourages me to read them.
Not this time though.

I really like your idea because it’s interesting, catchy and detailed. Including MC’s family is a great plus, especially since many stories ignore MC’s family members and authors either don’t put enough effort into creating them or don’t create them at all. Also, for once, it would be nice to see a fantasy story which is not mainly focused only on MC finding love. There are many fantasy stories which stayed loyal to their original genre but even more of them tend to turn into stereotypical romance.

When it comes to the Nightwalker… (This is only my opinion so no pressure :sweat_smile:)
Three LIs are… Many. I prefer having either one or two (Only if the author doesn’t prioritize one. Therefore they have both “equal chances” with MC.)
I would either reduce the number of the potential LIs and add as a LI the Nightwalker, or wouldn’t add the Nightwalker as LI at all. He could have more brother-sister relationship with MC or something similar.

Customization… Well, many readers prefer full CC. I’m the type of reader who doesn’t mind no CC or limited CC because I understand when authors want to keep their characters’ looks as they imagine them, especially if the MC shouldn’t represent specifically the reader himself/herself. Whether you choose to give readers the customization option or not, either way it will be fine.

About the poly route… It really depends on a person I guess. But I think that readers would be happy with just one LI as a partner. You can mention it as an option but I don’t think there would be many people choosing that path Morality, religious reasons, etc..

I guess that’s all from me :smile:


I like the idea of having choices to build the character’s relationships with their family. It keeps the reader interested always and I like the idea that choices I make impact the story in some way. It could be difficult to code however.
I think while the idea of a nightwalker love interest is interesting, you will find that most readers prefer no choice or only a couple when it comes to love interests and I think that there is already enough potential for a story line with the nightwalker just being a friend :slight_smile:
I think for customisation of characters, a lot of readers like full customisation, but you should either keep it limited or have none because it is your story so people should read as you want them to. They are YOUR characters and so it is your choice, don’t always let what others want define what you do. :slight_smile:
I don’t think many people would go for the poly route, however, you could include it. I just don’t think the story needs it as it is interesting enough without :slight_smile:
Overall, I think this is a really interesting plot! It sounds original to me and is not your usual cliche. I would love to read when you publish :smile:


Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and giving such a nice reply! You’ve really helped so much and honestly, since I’ve always wanted to write a vampire story, I’m so happy you don’t think my story is too cliché. As someone who also loves fantasy stories, especially when those two creatures are involved, I definitely get what you mean.

I’m glad to hear that the family is a plus. I was worried it might be the opposite, because like you said, you don’t see it much. Its funny because when I originally thought of the story, I didn’t start with the family having such a big role, but as I developed the plot and their characters, it became clear how important their stories were. So, I’m really hope readers enjoy getting to know them.

Okay, I also thought maybe 3 LIs were a bit much but as I started getting into the Nightwalker’s character I was like dang, I feel readers might wanna snatch him up :joy: but my original idea for their relationship was definitely more along the lines of what you suggested.

Noted! Glad it wouldn’t be too much of a turn off if choose to leave that out. Definitely gonna think on that some more. And for the poly route, as I was developing the MC, I started to feel like she was more of a one vamp kind of girl anyways, so now I wont feel so bad if i scrap that idea :joy:

Again, thank you so much! My brain can finally settle.


I’m so happy you also like the family idea! This makes me feel better about diving more into their relationships. And yeaah, the coding is the real intimidating part as my story becomes more complex, but I really have a lot of fun learning and nothing is more satisfying than watching that scene you spent so long on finally make sense! :joy: But, I must admit, since I am so new to it, I can’t help but feel nervous and insecure about my ability, or lack there of :upside_down_face:, to create the vision I have in my head.

I’m also glad the Nightwalker being just a friend sounds interesting enough, seeing as that was my first idea for his character. Even when the idea popped in my head I was like, hmm might be a bit much, but we’ll see :sweat_smile:

It’s really nice knowing that there a those out there who wouldn’t mind my keeping the characters as they are. I feel like now, I’m leaning towards limited, since it’s mainly just the attire that has the most significance and it also relieves me of some coding stress to leave out the poly route, so i’m actually not too hurt about that :smile:

Thank you so much for your thoughts and encouragement! They really helped me narrow some things down. In my mind, there’s just so many ways the story could go, but I would actually like to publish in this lifetime soo :joy: and I also don’t want it to feel too chaotic for the reader.

I’ll be sure to share it once I finally feel it’s ready for the world :blush:


I’d say go for it but make the Nightwalker a brother figure. Also, I’d rather read the description of the character and have the character make her own choices by what you write versus me doing it @chaerryroses


Thanks for the input! Seems like brother figure is the way to go :smile:

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Sure thing and I’m thinking of writing a zodiac superhero story mixed with sci-fi and action/adventure elements.

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Oh wow! That sounds like a story I’d be interested in for sure.

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Thanks for saying that. Just type in new zodiac superhero story in the search bar and go from there.


I’ll definitely check it out! Thank you.


Thanks for saying that.

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