would be happy if you read and respond honestly:heart:
Title of the story : The Race Of Life
Name of the author : lio
Story genre : Drama
Description : Life is normal if you can call it an incomplete family but how one act can make life a race, the question is if Sofi can take the wheel in her hands and control it ?
Style : Ink
Episodes : 5
Hello there @Lio, I would be happy to do a read 4 read if you’d like!
My story is here:
Author: Fluffy Rice
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Description: Childhood friends reunited after 10 years. Both Sierra and Peter are unaware that they knew each other from the past. (Remake)
Episodes: 3 (Ongoing)
This story is actually based on my own experiences in real life. ALSO, the cover arts are still Pending for Review, so the picture at the moment is the default art of the guy stepping on a banana peel.
(PS. It’s not the “Loving You Again (Discontinued)” story, that’s my old one in INK. The difference between the old and the remake is that the remake has more and better plot lines, and better directing!)
I’ll check yours out right now!
nice. can I recommend cover design?
I’m pretty new at this so you’re reading mine
you take pictures you read
I would be happy to have an honest response and with some tips then I will read yours
You’re asking me
no I’m asking fluffy rice
What do you think is more beautiful ?
@Lio, of course honey.
Welcome to Episode! I am rusty to be honest, I haven’t been on Episode for a year, hehe.
Okay this is my review with your story:
- I love your directing skills! They are really good.
- There’s a lot of grammatical errors. End your dialogue with a colon. I suggest reading back on your early episodes and fixing them up. Try reading them out loud to see if it makes sense to you.
- Fix your speechbubbles - Use directing help to assist you - Don’t forget to end the code with @speechbubble reset after the dialogue.
- There are layer problems in your story, read this thread to help you with how to code layering. For example if you go back to the scene when Sofi was chasing Max on the street. HOW TO: Move Characters / Overlays to the Layers
- For a new author and your first published story, I am impressed.
- I like the plot
- Your directing skills are excellent such as character spot placement, zooms and use of props!!
- Just need to fix layering, speech bubbles and grammatical errors.
- It would be great if there were choices in your story. Here is a video to help you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5U7jAUpGFk - This guy’s channel helps a lot with directing skills.
- I’m up to episode 3 right now, just waiting for passes. Keep up the good work.
Here are the screenshots proving that I read your story.
this made me laugh
I hope you can read my story and give some review
Hey wow it was quick you can help me with my hobbies and english conversations is not my language i will be happy if you tell me exactly where the mistakes i will fix
What do you think of a story? It gets interesting only at the end of the 5th
I like it so far, I finish episode 3 now. I don’t have any more passes so I am waiting for more.
Would be nice for you to read my story too, thank you
I’m just looking for him what his name is
And I’m sorry to ask this is your real name
As for the bubble of speech I noticed it but on a computer it is different from the phone
The one in the story? Yes, Kristine is my real name
just want to say, maybe add some more colour? idk just an opinion
Thanks for your opinion, I think I will tweak it a bit. I was aiming for something simplistic but I guess the cover is too basic haha. Much appreciated @HattyTale
Thank you Lio!