Youngbl00d's Review Shop [CLOSED]

Youngbl00d · June 25, 2020, 5:10pm

Hey guys! Please don’t let this be a flop XD I’ve decided to open up this review shop because I like helping people (and I’m bored now that’s school’s over…I kind of miss it now). Without further ado, I’ll check all the things listed down below.

I follow this template when giving your review.
Grammar
Directing
First Glance- My first Impression
Plot
Characters- Just development and thoughts about them
Conclusion- ideas, info, etc
The extra stuff you requested me to look out for

To make it easy for me, it would be great if you could follow this form.
Title
Author(s)
Description
Cover
Genre
Password
Link
Anything you want me to look out for
Where do you want your response (PM or comment in here)

No Drama or Rudeness- I don’t like spreading negativity. My reviews are only meant to help you be the best you can be. If you have any concerns or thoughts, PM me for more information. If you don’t agree with my suggestions, that’s fine, but don’t be harsh about it.
No Rushing- Please don’t rush me. It takes time to create a review suited for you, and I have a life outside of this. It may take a while for your review to come, but I’ll alert you if I can’t complete the report due to reasons and such. Other than that, I will try to get to your story.
Denial- I have the right to reject your review if I’m uncomfortable with the topic your story focuses on (be aware that this does not always mean your story is terrible. I just may not like the theme for personal reasons.). Please don’t use me for reads because making these reviews take time, and if you’re not going to at least acknowledge it, think about it, or flat-out ignore it, please don’t ask for one.
Chapters- I will review the first chapter at the moment, but be aware that this can change whenever. If I had changed the number of chapters I’m reviewing after you submitted a request, I’ll still review the previous amount.
Credit- I don’t need to be credited, however, if you would like, I have a badge that you can place on your cover to show credit/reviewed (You can ask for this through PM). You can also choose to credit me (if wanted) by my insta, @youngbl00d.writes.
Use Password- interstellar to make sure you read the rules. If I don’t see the password, your story won’t be acknowledged until you place it. So make sure you add it and blur it ;)! (07/06/20)

WAITING LIST (I can only take six at a time. This can change whenever.)

@Faith.episode.cats
@LynnAnn
@mitsuki.writes
@mitsuki.writes
@Phoenix_Hope
@Annarobbie
EXTRAS (Once I finish the six above, I’ll do yours.)

Overall, thank you for requesting and have a great day.
This shop is closed forever. I will finish the requests, but once that’s over, this shop will close.

writtenbyro · June 25, 2020, 5:12pm

Title: Criminal Lover
Author(s): @writtenby_ro (WrittenbyRo)
Description: Two people stuck in life in different ways. One is about to be homeless while the other is serving a life sentence in prison. Fate put them on the same path, but where will it lead them?⁣⁣⁣
Cover:

Genre: Romance
Password: cosmos
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5171102756306944

Youngbl00d · June 25, 2020, 5:14pm

Thank you for requesting! Just making sure, where would you like to get your review?

writtenbyro · June 25, 2020, 5:15pm

I don’t mind if you put your review here (positive or negative).

queenscribbles · June 25, 2020, 5:23pm

puta do mine

Youngbl00d · June 25, 2020, 5:24pm

wanna fill out the form?

queenscribbles · June 25, 2020, 5:24pm

no

Youngbl00d · June 25, 2020, 5:25pm

ill let you pass for now…

queenscribbles · June 25, 2020, 5:25pm

yay

queenscribbles · June 25, 2020, 5:31pm

bumpity bump

anianju · June 25, 2020, 6:25pm

Thank you for doing this
So, here is my story:
Title: Master of elements
Author: AnjitaD
Description: Will you and your friends able to save the world from darkness as you uncover secrets back 500 years ago ? (Timed choices point system, Thriller/ Fantasy/ Adventure/ Action
Cover:

Genre: Thriller
Password cosmos
Link http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5576198820528128
Anything you want me to look out for
Where do you want your response (PM or comment in here) Comment in here

Roy · June 25, 2020, 6:40pm

Title: Shado
Author: Roy
Description: After tragedy, Roy returns to civilization a changed women. She begins her crusade, determined to put things right, with the help of her trusted people,waging a one-woman on crime.
Genre : Action
Password : cosmos
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5108744574074880

Where do I want my response : Here is fine.

Some_kid · June 25, 2020, 6:54pm

Title: Pregnant by the bad pregnant robot(?)
Author: Some Kid
Description: Love , laughter and drama collide in this wacky adventure with little life lessons along the way. Will the ships survive? Or will you fail to take the crazy? (the plot is memes)
Cover:

Genre: Comedy
Password : cosmos
Anything you want me to look out for: It’s in INK
Where do you want your response (PM or comment in here): whatever you want
Link:

Youngbl00d · June 26, 2020, 1:58am

@writtenbyro. I have completed your review. Let me know if you have any questions or thoughts. Remember that this review is only meant to help you.

Summary

Grammar

There were some cases where you could add a comma(s), such as - To be honest,…-and, even though he likes me,…- And very soon, they’ll see…-I have to say, I thought…-I hope, in this way, I can…-My own path now, and I’m not…- you know, you…
There was a sentence that used Hasan when I believe the correct spelling of his name is Hassan.
Don’t forget to add periods at the end of your sentences like- I missed a guard and …something isn’t right.
“I’m in such a big trouble now.”- Change it to “I’m in such big trouble.”
“There isn’t a Mindy that works in this prison.”- use this instead for the correct wording.
“WHO!!!”- don’t forget that question mark since it’s asking a question.
“Since I worked here,…” - use worked for correct tenses.
“I hear everything”- use heard instead.
Instead of “I couldn’t sleep all night,” perhaps say, “I couldn’t sleep at all last night.”
Evacuated is kind of a strong word for this scenario, so I’d suggest evicted instead.
“Hey there, cotton candy.” whispers he.- use he whispers.

Directing
I only caught one thing, so great job on the directing!
My only suggestion is during the intro scene, Dario’s top half is behind the glass while his lower half isn’t. Either make him in front of the glass or behind the glass.

First Glance
The cover is well-done, and the description was alluring, which fits the scene of this story.

Plot
So far, the plot is terrific. The narration and description are excellent in describing the characters (especially Dario).

Character(s)
I like the idea of the girl finally escaping her strict parents’ wings and finally experiencing freedom, and yet, her parents’ old rules still linger her. It’ll be awesome to see her dealing with her parent’s rules and having Dario around. It’s also refreshing to let the readers decide how they want Saray to react in scenes. Dario is super fun and quite cute with his quirks XD.

Conclusion
This story is incredible. I like the characters and the minigame was enjoyable! I’d keep on reading, and I’m excited to see Saray and Dario’s relationship grow! The wanted posters as the splashes are fantastic and fit in well with the theme. I wish you good luck on your story writing journey!

writtenbyro · June 26, 2020, 2:07am

Thank you for your review! I’m aware I still have some grammar errors (someone is correcting them at the moment). About the intro scene, thank you for letting me know! I’ll change that right away🤍

crisp · June 26, 2020, 10:42am

Hiii, thank you for this, I would love a review!

Title: The Takeover
Author: Frances
Description: When you’re being framed for something you didn’t do, life can get pretty hard. But when a feared contract killer insists on helping you. That’s just crazy.
Genre: Action!!
Password: cosmos
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5528189088759808
Anything you want me to look out for: Mm, the fact that I’ve got no choices in my story
Where do I want my response: Here would be fine
Cover:

fawnie · June 27, 2020, 12:20am

Name: Squad: Fleeting Magic
Author: Fawnie
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Description: The mana that surrounds your home has begun to disappear, Fearing the worst, the Queen tasks four seemingly random civilians to save the magic of your home. Will you succeed? (CC)
Password: cosmos
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4969697965703168
Cover:

The review can be here~

Youngbl00d · June 27, 2020, 1:47pm

@anianju. Your review is completed. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Remember that this review is only meant to help you.

Review

Grammar

I suggest adding a hyphen whenever air-bend is mentioned
“You did it on purpose, right”- Make “right” lowercase
“He’ll enter his demise soon”- add “enter his” because demise used as a verb in this sentence is incorrect
Please help me to find her- remove the “to.”
He looks exactly like the young version of him- adds “like the” to make this sentence flow easier

Other than that, there were just minimal comma errors.

Heavy basket, full of apples,myself-add commas
My pap taught me, today- remove the comma after me
Control your emotion, MC, control them- add a comma
Don’t you know, where he is?- remove the comma after know
MC, please- insert a comma
Sierra, where are you- add a comma
…to inform about these, to my…- remove the comma after these

Directing
I have not caught any errors. Great job! I like the usage of overlays!
First Glance
The question for a description is good since it gives a sense of curiosity. The cover is also quite cute since it showcases the essential characters, I assume.
Plot
This is an exciting plot about the elementals and their forbidden history. So far, I like the idea.
Character(s)
I like the relationship between the MC and Vayu. It’s cute, and it will be helpful to see their relationship progress.

Conclusion
Your directing and usage of overlays are amazing! There seems to be an intriguing past about the elements which draw in attention. The relationship between the brother and sister is adorable, and it would be great to see it advance.

medusa.jett · June 27, 2020, 2:27pm

Title: Melody of Your Heartbeat
Author(s): Medusa Jett
Description: Working as a cashier at a music store wasn’t the moody Ryder’s idea of fun until he meets a beautiful music enthusiast that rocks his world! Romance and drama await! (CC)
Cover
Genre: Romance
Password: cosmos
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5781965477445632
Anything you want me to look out for: English isn’t my first language, just a note.
Where do you want your response (PM or comment in here): Wherever is fine.

anianju · June 27, 2020, 3:21pm

Thank you so much for this lovely review