Your Experience, If Any, With Social Anxiety

Do you think that if you didn’t have social anxiety you’d enjoy parties? I don’t really enjoy parties,but I don’t have social anxiety anymore.

It depends honestly. If it’s a lot of people I don’t know then I’m super uncomfortable. Then if it’s a raging house party then I’m even more uncomfortable because I’ve never been to a house party. Literally the party I mentioned was like my second time going to one.

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@yoms - Wow. It’s tough to have both depression and anxiety because it probably feels like the world is black and blue yet against/judging you. I haven’t been through nearly as much as you have probably been through mentally, but I don’t blame you for freezing up or not being able to force yourself to do something. A website said that anxiety could make you feel like your body isn’t your body yet you’re watching it act in front of your own eyes. Never stop fighting and never believe that you’re a lost cause because you’re worth every effort <3.

@perksofbeinghasna - That makes sense to me. When people weren’t consistently spending time with me or I felt like they ignored me, I’d make myself believe I didn’t matter as much to them. Backstabbing is also a big one because no matter how good they were to me, I always felt unworthy so I always thought, “Oh, they probably want something and that’s why they’re talking to me.” I’m glad you’re making progress, and when you’re presenting, look above their heads and they’ll think you’re looking them in the eye without actually looking them in the eye ;). Uhh, to get over the feeling of backstabbing or paranoia you remind yourself that everyone is a person, just like you, and they have fears, weaknesses, flaws, and insecurities because when it comes down to our bare elements, we’re all the same. Thank you and good luck with the rest of your life because life is a continuous work in process <3.

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Just stay home then lol. There’s not a more magical place than home in my opinion. I’m glad that you like to spend time with your close friends though.

I didn’t read the whole thread, but I think @viviwrites explains it quite good.
I’m having it, and it really varies. Sometimes it’s worse, sometimes a bit lighter. Once I had a panic attack, cause there were too many people on the street. Back then it was like I have problems breathing, head starts spining, like you’re on the bridge of collapsing. Sometimes anxiety is that strong, that I just don’t walk out of the house in the day time, only when it gets dark, so that nobody could see me.

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Oh man. It sounds like your symptoms are changing or they’re varying with time. Anxiety is strong, but you’re stronger. Do you experience this with friends or just with strangers? Do you feel like you’re collapsing both physically and mentally?

Yeah, it really depends on a lot of things. Like overall mood, how my day was, socialization. If I avoid social contact for some time, it gets worse. If I stay in touch with people, it gets a lot easier.
Mostly with strangers, but sometimes with friends too, when I get to paranoid. Like you think that they don’t really care for you, or they hate you. And the worst is that you can’t control these thoughts. It can be overwhelming.
Collapsing. It only happened once, and I could guess on the reason. I live in a relatively small European town, and once I was travelling to Turkey, Istanbul. There are far bigger population, so it was quite a contrast. That’s when I got my only panic attack.
What else to add, so that maybe it could give u some ideas on story. Music helps a lot. On the street I’m always with my headphones. Music distracts you from shitty thoughts and helps you to avoid focusing on strangers.
Also. Anxiety is almost always connected to depression and these things affect each other. What I found out (at least it’s a thing for me). Compassion is a dangerous emotional drug. When people feel sorry for me, and pity me, it makes everything harder. Like, they pity me, and I start pitying myself, you know? Understanding person with anxiety, and trying to act in the way, to create less stress for this person, is the best you can do.

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Thank you for all the information and I hope you get better <3. It’s not easy to get better, but it is possible.

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@fcukforcookies
@JackAttack95
@yoms
@Rossella
@/everyone else on this thread.
What if a stranger approached you?

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Depends on the environment I’m in. I’ve never been physically attacked but I’ve always been paranoid of being attacked. So I got into the habit of carrying pocket knives everywhere I go. Hopefully I answered your question :slight_smile:

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Oh I get it. You feel unsafe depending on where you are.

For me, it’s going up to someone and talking to them that makes me nervous because I’m scared I’ll be seen as annoying or nosy or something like that. I don’t mind when people come to talk to me, though :slight_smile:

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But as far as a social context, I do feel unsure of myself when a stranger starts striking a conversation with me because I don’t really know how to carry out small talk. And big social events like parties, I’m literally the person thats in a dark corner wondering how I got dragged to this uncomfortable social situation lol

Got it. Thanks. <3

Lol. I understand.

I’m fine with that. I have problems with approaching someone myself.

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When I think of my social anxiety, I see a mountain. Each day, I have to climb it to maintain a somewhat normal life. At the end of the day it will feel like I have climbed an actual mountain as it is very tiring to constantly be afraid of something you can’t get away from.
When I have to speak in front of a crowd everything becomes a blur. The only thing I can hear is the loud beating of my heart and how I stumble on each syllable that leaves my mouth. Sometimes I can’t say anything at all.
When I have to make a phone call or write a message to someone I will postpone it until the last minute and even then I will stare at my screen for several minutes. Once I do it, I will walk around contemplating each sentence, each word, wondering if I made a complete fool of myself.
I have spent countless nights thinking of things that happened weeks, months… even years before, feeling embarrassed over my behavior. Sometimes I think of all the friendships I could have had. I was convinced that they would get tired of me and abandon me, so I cut the ties before I become too attached.
Every time I listen to music in public I have to keep one earpiece out so that I can make sure that I don’t breathe too loud. Especially on public transport.
Most of the time I feel lonely. There are many who doesn’t understand social anxiety and the limitations it has put to my life. Many things that most people are able to do without a second thought is pure torture to me. I often get told that I’m ridiculous when I get stressed over the smallest of things.

Social anxiety is a constant fight, but I remain optimistic and I try to look at all the things that I have achieved in my life because that reminds me to keep fighting and maybe one day I will realize that the world isn’t such scary place after all.

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@maggdizz504 That is such a beautiful yet painful description. I hope you get to the top of the mountain and overcome it <3.

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I can’t even describe the stress I get sometimes when having to interact with people. I can’t even ask a waiter for ketchup at a restaurant. I literally have panic attacks from time to time. I just freeze or start breathing deeply. I literally dread talking someone I don’t know. Even ordering something at a Starbucks is torture to me sometimes.

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As a woman with Asperger’s, social anxiety wouldn’t go away for me as I also have Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Like when I was in college (UK for 11th-13th grade), I couldn’t eat in public because people would either watch me eat and talk about how big I was or the fact that people would say something like “She’s always eating”.
It got worst when I went to university because people always invade my personal space with these stupid pamphlets about religion which really made me anxious.
Whenever I go to the gym changing room, I tend to get really anxious when mothers at the gym I go to bring their kids to the changing room and it makes me anxious when they watch me get changed same with the women there that I have to find a private place to get changed or shower.

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