@TalGordin - Catching Coal
Well, I actually had your story on my read list before you requested hahaha. Not sure why (I think coz I have seen you post on forums about it), but except the colour yellow to be weirdly relevent.
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Ah, your revamp splash is smart. I probably need one of those myself lol. It does make me wonder how much you want me to read though? I probably will not be able to read all 27 for this review, but I’m not sure if you want me to only look at the episodes that have been revamped? Anyway, I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.
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How is that glowey thing changing colours? WOW
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The tappables for the sound choice was cool. I admire you for giving that choice tbh. I see it as too much effort haha
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Oh and that background with the bars changing height looked really cool too. Can’t believe the story hasn’t even started and I’ve already said so much lol.
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So the thing is though… I know a lot of author’s give CC when they don’t want to because they know there’s people out there who will refuse to read a story without CC… but when you include it and then encourage readers not to CC the characters, I just feel it’s then weird to advertise it as a CC story. And by including it on your large cover, that’s what it feels like you are doing. Idk maybe it’s just because I’m more of an advocate for author’s to do what they want and not include CC because they feel like they have to
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I thought that was a nice segway to learning more about Coal and flashbacks were done well.
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Hehehe, sorry, but I am noticing your BG characters in the school hallway are all wearing default outfits. I’d recommend changing them up a bit
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Love these OTS shots with the door scene…
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Skeleton-mask guys says “Your mother wasn’t killed she was murdered” and I know what you mean, you’re saying it was a planned murder not a breaking and robbery gone wrong. But kill and murder are used interchangeably so expect a few wankers like me to mention that haha
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The knife overlays are awesome. You are so dedicated!
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Ahhh, some yellow. I see it now
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Wow, I’m still on episode one?
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Ah, ok. It came full circle now to where we started. Nice pilot. Good pace. If every episode is as long as that one, I’ll truly be floored.
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And I just did a little sneak peek at your profile and saw you list your update dates? WOW! So many readers would love if all authors did that I bet… Also, since you said up to episode 4 of the revamp is up… I might only read those for now? Especially if they are long like that.
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I am a rebel and I read the questions out of order lol, but then I got confused coz they started walking and I was worried it was because I read them out of order… Then when Coal and Arden sit down and she says she wasn’t finished, I realised what you’d done, and it’s freaking genius, I have to say. That, as well as you giving a “you already asked that” notification is really appreciated.
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Ahhhh, I feel like with this choice - the one at Sam’s place about how I know Arden - like all of my options are going to be the wrong thing, but your reader message gives me faith that one must be “right”
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Oh well, I definitely picked the wrong thing hahaha, still. I’m impressed by how much Arden managed to get Sam to tell without exposing who Coal really is.
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I think there was a small error in this next scene. I could see Coal’s mirror reflection on the right before she officially entered the scene
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Sierra’s file looked pretty pro
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Wow that’s a lot of security guards hahaha.
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Arden kneeling and saying “Can I borrow that?” Lol, made me laugh.
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Nice spot directing Coal as she walks up to the house. Shame about that one blondie who’s lying on the stairs. If only we had a passed-out-on-stairs animation
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Story mode and game mode? Wow, what is this? Such an innovative idea!
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I love with the pictures that you’ve added dates.
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The one thing that irked me about searching the bedroom though is that computer chair. Just looks weird for Coal to walk in front of it.
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Woah, what is this video effect thing?
HOW did you do this? -
Now… I do want to know though… Is this Sierra’s recording? Because to me it sounded like she wasn’t expecting to have that particular conversation, so idk why she would have been recording in the first place? Will this be explained later?
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Omg they totally did “it” after the recording finished, didn’t they? Hahahaha
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Wait, back up… how did you flip the letters like that?
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Oh nice, your art scene reflects the chosen outfit
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Aaand the recording has been explained, cool
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If Arden says it’s his dad, I swear…
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AHH IT’S HIS DAD! Ok, the plot thickens
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Well now I am curious… Are Arden and Coal the same age? I can’t remember now if it’s been mentioned yet, but if they are… Does that me Andrew got Arden’s mum pregnant while being in love with Sierra?
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When Arden asks where Coal thinks the cabin might be, it would probably be better to have actual options instead of options 1, 2, 3 and 4, since I really didn’t know what I was picking.
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Oh ok. I was not expecting them to get ambushed. … I wasn’t expecting them to be the undead either hahah, you definitely caught me by surprise there.
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Wow did her eyes gradually change to pink or are my eyes playing tricks on me?
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Ah the art scene looks so cool where the background with the other undead are blurred. It really helps bring the focus to Alex.
Ok, so I am going to leave the review there since that was the end of the revamped episodes. I did really like it though and look forward to reading more. Your episodes are quite long which I’m sure a lot of people will love, there’s a nice balance of mystery and action weaved in too and your directing is amazing - there were so many scenes that stood out to me and I’m only 4 episodes in so I can’t imagine what else you’ve got planned. You must be super proud of your revamps so far! If you did want me to check out the unrevamped ones, just say the word 
Episode 5 continuation… (hehe lol)
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Wow, I can’t believe how that all turned out tbh. I guess… I sort of always imagine these situations put authors in a corner and give them nowhere to go, but Alex saving them both was a smart move.
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Oooh, I notice that picture/photograph in Alex’s house and recognize a few of the other characters… I’m betting it’s relevant.
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Awww, I felt so bad for Coal’s family and friends when she started talking about them and probably having police looking for her by now. I hope they come back into the story.
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Hehehe “Yes.” vs. “Yes?”
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Aww, the clothes overlay to warm Sierra up! So cute.
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Ok, I’m very invested in Sierra and Alex’s love story. Please write a prequel, thanks.
@TalGordin I just added episode 5 to the end of this. It was only short because like I said, I was invested in Sierra and Alex hehe