Feeling defeated

Community Episode Fan Community
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Hey everyone,

So I can’t be the only one feeling this. And I know I really sound whiny and pathetic and self-entitled, but if I can’t express how I feel, what can I do?

I’m a small-ish community author whose story has been out for over a year and a half… Six plus hours working on Episode stories every single day, no joke. I’ve lost time with now deceased pets because I’ve been so focused on writing (my fault, no one else’s), gave up work days just to finish a scene on time. The dedication probably is overboard, but it’s the only way I can get my story out.

Today I was hoping they’d finally select it for the shelf it was nominated to (tbh, it was the perfect fit) by a lot of people, but once again… it wasn’t. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and the same goes with my contest entry not even being read.

I know not everyone can be featured, but how do you deal with the continuous disappointment, especially when newer stories are often featured? (Not saying they’re not amazing in their own right; I’m sure they are and as much as I’m heartbroken, I’m pleased at least someone gets to be happy and acknowledged). Is there a formula they use? Do authors get blacklisted for hidden reasons or something?

I feel like I’m at breaking point right now, and yes, as pathetic as this sounds, I have been reduced to tears, yet again–no joke, I’m a red mess right now. But I don’t know what to do to get Episode to finally acknowledge my story. It’s not toxic, the directing is advanced (not perfect, but not horrible if I may say so), and the grammar is good. Unless my readers are just trying to pick me up, the plot is actually interesting and original, too, when it doesn’t have bits taken by other authors.

Am I the only one out here who feels like this? Surely I can’t be. Will Episode actually listen to authors who are literally begging to be seen? What can we do?

I guess I’m crying out for help here hoping that one day will be my day, feeling like no matter what I do, I’m in the wrong when I just want to be noticed.

Anyone out there can relate?

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I can help, hun, I can completely understand what you’re going through, and that’s why I’m trying to help small Authors as best as I can, I’ll give your story a read myself, and see if there’s any feedback for you to improve on :blob_turtle:

And yes, it’s honestly disappointing how toxic the featured stories are, and how toxic Episode overall has become, I’m so sorry you had to go through so much, getting a story out there can be difficult, but if you enjoy doing it, writing, coding, directing, then it’s worth it. :sweat_drops:

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You’re very kind, and I’m so so so glad you replied. I was beginning to think I was just being a baby as usual, but it seems to be time and time again that this happens.
I feel like I’ve given so much that there has to be an explanation, but then realise there are probably a lot of people feeling the same way and just sucking it up. It’s not the first break down I’ve had, either, which is pretty sad, but if I hadn’t already gotten this far with my stories, I would’ve quit and left it. I don’t know why it’s become so important to me, but it is.
My story is White Wave, and a DL entry coming soon (why I’m doing this to myself I don’t know), but you don’t have to read it :slight_smile: I know it could use improving, but I’m not sure I have it in me to do another revamp after this. You’ve already done enough just being here for a random episode user venting like me :slight_smile:
I’m holding my breath that one day, it’ll be worth it <3

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That’s awful. You certainly worked very hard to get there.
Now I’ve never tried to get in any shelves but I have tried a couple times to get past the 300 reads in 60 days to get the story dashboard, Unfortunately it didn’t work. Now this may sound cheesy but I keep telling myself that. there’s always a next time :))

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I just don’t know what to do anymore. I suppose I’m in the ‘woe is me pity party stage’ still so I’ll probably look back as I always do and shrug. I just don’t know that if it wasn’t good enough for the one shelf it literally fit on the best that it’ll ever be featured. It never used to be like that though; I had under fifty reads for over six months when I first started, and I remember then feeling like this. Maybe I’m getting too entitled now that I’m past each milestone I keep setting? :’)
I’ll help you if I can :slight_smile: If you have Instagram, mine is @whitewave91.episode–DM me (or here if it’s easier for you) and I’d love to shout out your story :slight_smile:

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I’m really sorry to hear that. When I work very hard on my stories and people still have something bad to say about it or don’t like it for some reason I’m feeling down. I can’t even imagine how is it for you because you were so close. I would like to read your story because I’m sure it’s amazing. As for some tricks or formulas they might use, I don’t think so. But the thing I know for sure is that episode features less good stories now. When I need a good new story to read episode doesn’t offer me much itself. I have to dig myself to find a good story and It’s hard. What’s the name of your story?

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Oh my, I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way! I’m sure your story is amazing, so please don’t give up!

Also, I feel like I should say this. Please don’t prioritise episode over your personal life and mental health. Nothing is worth the deterioration that you’d have to go through.
Take breaks. Press pause if it gets overwhelming. Delay an update a day or two, it’s alright. But please don’t sacrifice your health.

Hope you’re okay, and stay optimistic. :white_heart::white_heart:

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You are very sweet. My story is White Wave (fantasy, royalty, high school, love triangle sort of) if you want to read it, but just the fact that you’re being so supportive is enough for me <3

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Thank you lovely. That is so very true, too. I feel like I’m at a crossroads where I’ve put so much in already that it feels like a waste stopping, and yet not knowing what the point of going forward is. I told myself I wouldn’t even enter any more contests, yet what do you think I did when DL was announced? :woman_facepalming:
I hate that I love the look of episode so much. I think as soon as I’ve submitted and finished WW’s last episode of the season, I’m out of here.
Thank you <3 <3

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Thank you! I don’t have insta so I’ll Dm you here shortly :))

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I feel like after getting fifty-six nominations there’s nothing else I can do, they just don’t want to feature it :frowning: It’s honestly made me feel so worthless having it happen time and time again.
I really hope you’re right :s <3

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I was pleasantly surprised tbh :slight_smile: It just made it worse though knowing that if that’s still not enough for them, then what it is? Sometimes being too close is even worse.
Thank you, and thank you for taking the time to reply :slight_smile:

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i would be glad to read your stories and give feedback!

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maybe you should find a new hobby

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I’m not going to lie here, in a lot of cases being featured isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Not every story that gets featured is going to get plenty more reads and most features only last a week excluding contest winners. The only thing you can expect to get with certainty is a number of gems awarded to you for making it to a shelf (around 25).

I’ve seen plenty of stories be featured and after their feature is up – they’re back to being unknown. Obviously this is not the case for every single story, but I just don’t want you to get your hopes too high when it comes to features in case you make it and are hit with disappointment yet again or in case you’re under the impression that a feature will inevitably make your story more successful and popular.

With all of that being said, it is still nice to get featured and if that’s a goal that you want to keep aiming for, then I hope you get it whether it’s soon, later or in the future along with a more successful outcome. I know being an author can be super frustrating, tiring, and at times depressing, but please take moments to prioritize yourself because if you don’t function well, things around you won’t either. Good luck with your story and take care. (:

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You’re allowed to feel whatever you are feeling. Your feelings are completely valid. There are tons of people who go through the same experience as you do. Writing on this app isn’t a walk in the park, especially getting noticed. Thousands of stories are published a day (not an accurate statistic) and being able to compete with that is frustrating.

I’ve been writing on episode for over 5 years. I’ve written about 5 stories. Have they gotten featured? No. Are any of them worth being featured? Eh, maybe. Am I okay with that? Yeah. But for me, I write because I like the hobby of writing. It’s something to do when I want to escape from reality. For you and others, it’s totally different. You love writing so you work hard to get your stories noticed. You want that recognition you deserve, and I’m sure you deserve it. We all deserve a little recognition in our lives.

I get it. It’s disappointing to be that close with all those nominations and not get chosen. But I think the fact people actually nominated you, should be a win. People are recognizing you, it may not be enough but that’s something you should be proud of. Always celebrate the small wins as if it’s a big win so you won’t keep thinking your stories aren’t worth it. Every story is worth it if people are reading it and praising the work you do.

And with all those hours you dedicate episode to, you definitely work hard. Maybe work a bit too much?? You said you lost time with your now deceased pets and you gave up work days just to work on an episode story… do you think that’s okay? Yes you want to get noticed but is that more important than your well-being? Your family? Your friends? Anything outside of episode? I want you to do amazing and be happy, but you need to prioritize yourself. Spending too much on something can do some damage in the long run.

This is just advice, you can take it or ignore it. But I think you need to take a step back from episode and prioritize yourself. It’s not healthy to be in the mindset of “episode this, episode that… I need to get my story done so people can read it and I can get featured.” You need to take care of yourself first. You’re the author. There is no story without an author. But you really need to take a step back and think to yourself, “why am I writing on episode?”. Your reasons are as valid as those who are the opposite.

You have goals. It’s great to have goals because that’s what makes life and the journey interesting. But don’t let those goals get in the way of your personal life and well-being. If you’re not in a good head space, it’ll show in your work.

I’m sorry if you didn’t like what I wrote. I wanted to share my opinion on the matter. Don’t give up, you will get there! I wish you the best and hope you continue writing in the future! :purple_heart:

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That’s very true. I know it’s not really that much in the scheme of things, especially when it’s so temporary.
Thank you, and thank you for taking the time to respond to this. I know it sounds like such a trivial, minor goal in the scheme of life, but I’ve never wanted something so badly nor put in so much effort. But then, I suppose I’m not the only one.
Thank you, I really appreciate it :slight_smile:

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Thank you, that’s very sweet of you :slight_smile:

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No problem, thanks for taking the time to share your feelings with us. I hope things begin to look better for you soon.

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You’re absolutely right with everything you’ve said.
I know it is a lot put into it, but when I want something so badly, my mind becomes one track. Writing isn’t just a hobby for me; it’s what I want my career to be, and Episode is the stepping platform. Beyond that, actually, which may sound pathetic, but it’s what I want to show for my life. It’s also served as an escape from the very things I’m avoiding in real life. It’s either get stressed on this, or get stressed here. Losing my pet whilst focusing on a contest was the biggest regret I’ve had on this. The work, not so much, as that was part of time owed (long story, but instead of relaxing by a beach I chose to spend it on this yet again.)
I’m certainly going to be taking time off, because you are right that life comes first, and please don’t apologise for telling it like it is! I’m glad you can be honest and give the advice that is needed.
I hope your stories get featured soon! Five years is ages, but I’m glad that you like the hobby!
Thank you :two_hearts:

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