oml i thought you said your brother beats you i need new glasses
Yeah whats up?
Ufff. So many. Here, read this two tales if you want to.
First haircut
When I was 5, my mum tricked me into getting my hair cut for the very first time. I hated it, and I started crying because at the time I was obsessed with long hair (I wanted to be like my Barbies!), so to calm me down, she reminded me that hair eventually grew back. Yeah…
When I arrived home, I practically shaved all my expensive, original Barbies. Needless to say, my mother was fuming, and to calm her down, I sagely said: “Don’t worry, mummy, it will grow back!”
She never bought me a Barbie again 
¡Azúcar, flores, y muchos colores!
One afternoon one of my cousins and I tried to create the Powerpuff Girls
You know how it goes, right?
Sugar. Spice. And everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction… the Chemical X.
Now, in Spanish, the dub went something like this: sugar, flowers, and lots of colours.
Hehe. Let the witchcraft begin!
We took my aunt’s tallest and deepest stew pot, a large wooden spoon, and all her sugar and milk (yeah, milk was not included in the recipe, but go figure). Then, we ripped all the flowers we could gather from her precious plants, picked up random colourful objects from the ground like filthy wrappings and unidentifiable stuff, stole a bottle of Coca-Cola that would serve as our Chemical X from my aunt’s fridge, and sneaked among the trees and bushes in her huge backyard. Of course, we also sacrificed my youngest cousin’s favourite stuffed bunny (we robbed her of the old thing while she was napping 
) and one of my aunt’s colourful sweaters for good measure.
By the time we managed to “mix” everything, it was evening… and let me tell you, that brown-ish, stagnant concoction with floating withered flowers somehow ended up reeking of poo, hot-dog water and feet! We sat before the stew pot covering our noses and waiting for something to happen for like 20 minutes, until my aunt’s head finally peeked into the bushes and she saw (and smelled!) our doomed concoction. We scrambled to turn around and look at her, but she just… stood there, looking into the camera like she was on the office.
A minute later, she noticed there were flowers while growling and cleaning the mess, then she dashed past us and saw her battered plants. Her scream was inhuman
For weeks, I saw the sunlight only when I went to and came back from school
Ah, life was so easy back there :’)
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When I was younger (and still do it) I used to chew on pencils and pens. During class, I had chewed on my favorite pencil so much that my teeth hurt. It even looked like I did it on purpose!
My current pencil has so many bite marks, you would think that I had a puppy hidden in my room!
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I have another somewhat interesting tale:
Once upon a time, I decided to mix the tiniest amount of glitter into a vial of water and call it “miracle tonic.” A couple minutes later, I get the bright idea of rubbing it on my hands. It didn’t take long for me to realize that my hands felt a burning pain. They slowly turned red, and that’s when I realized that I had accidentally put a bunch of tiny cuts in my hands.
They looked pretty rough for a couple of weeks.
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There was this one time that my grandma bought this big fish from the dock, and she left it on the cutting board in the kitchen and told me not to touch it, so she went outside for a bit and I just started staring at it, then I poked it. The eyes moved a bit. After that I screamed and ran out the house. (I was like 4 or 5)
I also cut off my eyebrows once and drew them back on with a black inky pen because I saw people do that on TV 
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anyone else licked an extension or went to a 10 floor building w your friends to see what a person who rumored to rape little girls looked like? :’)
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When I was like 8 an older boy (like 12 or 13) was being annoying and I kicked him in his private place 
only time I ever did that, I don’t know if it was more stupid or badass.
I also used to meow and pretend I’m a cat when I was like 5-7 
And a thing that literally just happened (but I’m 17 and can already see myself in ten years saying how fucking stupid this was, yeah, I can already see it coming) but a few days ago I was in a school trip to a desert and there were a few free hours in some big city close to the desert at the end and I… Pierced my nose to piss off my parents. I was too much of a coward though, literally had to ask a random guy from school that was there to hold my hand and acted like I was 6. Imagine 27 yo me saying this was stupid af in 2029.
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I gave my sister a tattoo with a spatula.
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Bump!
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What is “bumping”?
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Thank you.
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I used to eat ketchup sandwiches when I was a toddler 
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Oh, I did so many different things, but I love every moment. I did funny, scary, strange things, but they weren’t stupid.
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Apparently I drank toilet water. 
I drank Lucozade when it wasn’t for my age. 
Tried a lil bit of beer. 
Nearly fell out of a window. 
Banged my head on a hard glass door. 
Did a handstand into a bridge on a concrete floor and banged my head. 
Ran right into a brick wall which made my teeth start bleeding but I didn’t cry. 
Loads more tbh. 
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Bump 
The stupidest things that I done when I was in primary…
It’s teacher’s Day that time and our teacher said that no one is allowed to ask if u are going to the restroom/bathroom then while we were in the 4th floor,I am soooo wanted to pee but I can’t cuz my teacher said no one is allowed to ask her… So I kept waiting for the ceremony to end… But when the worst part is…When the host said “Pls stand up for the opening prayer…” then all of us stand,then I just realized that there’s some pee’s in the floor! Then one girl came up to me and say “Did u pee on the floor?” Then I say “yes…” and she told it to my teacher! But luckily my teacher is not mad!
Sorry for the wrong grammar 
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Signed a working contract for 5 years.
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Bump.